《roommates》sixteen

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Quinn had set the title, We need to talk. And then clicked "Go Live," watching the starting soon screen begin to countdown.

After her freakout on Vanessa last night, Quinn knew that she had to answer questions and explain everything, honestly. She knew now that she wasn't bound to silence or playing nice. She had been through hell because of Vanessa, and it was finally time to let people know.

"Hi guys, I know we have been having some pretty serious streams lately, and I do really apologize for that, so I have a bunch of fun Christmas type stuff planned for next week, but for now I feel like I should answer the questions you guys have been asking for several months. I haven't had the ability to be honest with you guys, and as many of you have probably seen on Twitter this morning, there is a reason for that. I want to start by saying, I am sorry for the way I responded. It was not fair for me to let my emotions get the better of me and I know I should be setting a better example for you guys, I'm sorry that I reacted in the way that I did." Quinn couldn't feel a single thing. She felt so still. It was a little earlier than she was used to streaming, but she wanted to have a chance to explain before the internet blew things out of proportion.

"That being said, I know a lot of you have been wondering why everything changed so abruptly. So strap yourselves in, because it's a wild story. Back in February, March-ish, Clay and I had talked about being together, officially. At the time we had feelings for each other, but decided that for the sake of our careers, it would be best to stay professional. Which was hard, but we figured out a way to make it work," Quinn was watching as the chat lost their shit over the fact that a ship had almost sailed, "I know guys. I know. But not too long after he met Vanessa. And from the get-go, she didn't like me. I had no idea why, I just knew that it wasn't my place to do anything crazy. This is when she had posted on Twitter that her and Clay were together. Seeing this, I was shocked, and a little hurt, and I went to Nick for comfort, that's when he was unmuted, and you guys could hear us on his alt stream. After that, I knew I was on thin ice." Quinn couldn't help but cringe at the memory of the next part of the story.

"Everything was fine until Clay and Nick got a little too drunk and Clay had come to me and admitted that he still had some type of feelings for me. I refused him many times, but Vanessa had actually been there to witness most of his confession, and she told me to pack my stuff. At first, I didn't understand how I could be at fault, or why she had threatened me behind Clay's back, telling me that she would end my career. But out of fear and respect, I packed. The Next morning George and Nick tried to stop me from leaving, but I knew I couldn't stay. So I showed up on Ellie's doorstep, and like the angel she is, she took me in and nursed me back to health." Quinn watched as messages of sympathy scrolled through chat, telling her how strong she was for being so quiet about it.

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"When I first moved in, I couldn't eat, I couldn't stream, all I wanted to do was sleep and cry. I was so upset with Clay, he had taken Vanessa's side, I didn't live with the boys and I felt alone and heartbroken. Vanessa had somehow gotten my phone number and told me to block Clay, so I did, out of respect. I didn't hear from him for a month or two. Which was when I started streaming again. I do have to say, if anything, I'm glad everything changed so abruptly, because my content changed and grew with it. And so did the community. So I am extremely thankful for that. There isn't a lot more to the story, except for the fact that Vanessa leaked the conversation pictures on her Twitter right after she broke up with Clay, and I think it was her attempt at trying to make good on her threat to me. Part of her was successful, because of how stressed I was trying to figure out what everything meant. But the other part of me, a much bigger part, was confident that you guys were going to be understanding of my explanation. And you were. You guys really are the best." Quinn took a second to herself to breathe. Now that she had been able to be fully honest with her audience, she felt so much better. She promised in her chat that she was going to be streaming with a bunch of different people next week, before the holiday was here, and she ended her stream, feeling much better now that everyone knew the truth.

Quinn was lying on her bed with Nick knocked on her bedroom door.

"Come in," she called out and soon he was standing in her room, an almost nervous look on her face, "what?"

"You're not mad at me?" His words caused Quinn to sit up.

"Why would I be mad at you?" Quinn regarded him seriously, "Did you do something?"

"No, no, no" Nick quickly said, "I just... I knew that Clay and Vanessa weren't together, and I wanted to tell you, I did, I just never found the right time."

"Nick, it's okay," Quinn nodded at him, "out of everything that I learned yesterday, Clay and Vanessa breaking up was the least angering thing. Is he... okay? I know that being broken up with isn't easy. And he's... well he's Clay."

"He's alright, he's not taking it as hard as you think he would be. Can I be honest with you Quinn?" Nick sat down on the edge of Quinn's bed.

"Of course," Quinn interlocked her fingers underneath her covers, she had a feeling that she knew where this was going.

"Honestly, I think he misses you." Nick stared at the floor, "Like just having you around. I think you should come back to the house sometime, just to be there again."

"I don't know Nick, I think he might need time to adjust," Quinn wouldn't let herself admit to Nick that she did want to see Clay. She did want to go back to the house. But was right now the best time?

"At least talk to him. Like having a real conversation, sit down and let him explain," Nick was serious, he had seen the shape that Clay had been in for the past month, he was miserable.

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"Alright, alright, I'll talk to him. I swear," Quinn was gonna say anything to get Nick out of her room right now.

Quinn followed Nick into the kitchen, a new energy coursing through her veins.

"What're we doing today?" She asked Ellie who was standing behind the counter, who looked ready for the day.

"Uh, well Nick and I are going to the zoo, what're you doing today?" Ellie laughed awkwardly, after having her best friend for a while, Ellie wanted a day with just her boyfriend.

"Oh I'll probably just hang out here then, maybe I'll order food or something," Quinn plugged her phone in on the counter, and walked over to the fridge for a bottle of water.

"Maybe you can call someone?" Ellie was very broad with her suggestion, but Quinn knew what she meant.

"Oh, so you guys are plotting together? I see how it is," Quinn put a dramatic hand over her face.

"I'm sorry, I just really think you should get back out there. Especially because you and I both know that you're not over him. You told me yourself," Ellie grabbed two bottles of water out of the fridge, one for her and one for Nick who was currently looking at Quinn expectantly.

"Are we forgetting that we haven't spoken for a long time, how do I know it's gonna be like what it used to be? What if it's weird," Quinn crossed her arms across her chest.

"You'll never know unless you call him," Nick made a good point.

"Okay fine, I will! Now get out of here you goofs. Have fun!" Quinn was practically pushing them out the door.

When she knew that she was alone, Quinn let out a small sigh. She had the place to herself, and she had no plans whatsoever. Honestly, Quinn needed a day to do nothing, the past few weeks were incredibly stressful, and she needed a day to just relax. Except all she could think about was Clay.

She showered, ate lunch, took a nap, went on a walk, but all she could think about was what it might be like if she pursued him harder. If he never met Vanessa, would he and Quinn still be together? Would Ellie and Nick be together? These were some of the big thoughts that kept Quinn thinking all day.

She sat at her computer, trying to practice speedrunning, but her brain was totally skewed. She wasn't focused, how could she be? There was a very lovely tall, blonde man who was busy occupying Quinn's mind. She was remembering things that she hadn't thought about in months, things that they did together, things he said to her, things she wanted to say to him. It was almost a little frustrating.

By the time the sun was setting, Quinn was lying on the couch, staring at her phone, praying for anything to distract her. However, she ended up in her messages, staring at the last conversation she had with Clay. She clicked on the message bar, and hesitated. What was she supposed to say to him?

Hey I'm still falling for you and we really should talk about that.

That felt a little too forward. But she had to say something more than just Hey. She must've sat there for thirty minutes, trying to contemplate what to say to him. She settled.

Hey, how are you doing? With the break up and everything.

She was just about to send the message, hesitating several times, when there was someone knocking, pounding, at the front door.

Quinn nearly jumped out of her skin, rushing to the door fearfully. When she looked in the peephole, she froze. Clay was standing at her front door, and he was in tears.

"What the fuck," She whispered before opening the door. She seemed relieved that she answered the door, "Clay? Come in."

Quinn noticed the yellow visitor badge on his shirt, he was at the hospital. Quinn didn't know what to think.

"Clay, why were you-"

"My mom," his voice was broken and hoarse Quinn felt her heart break for him, "My sister. They were... They."

He couldn't finish his sentence. Quinn's heart stopped beating in her chest, she pulled him into a tight hug, he felt so weak in her arms. This was his breaking point. After months of protecting everyone, and being strong and keeping himself together, this was the moment that shattered all of that. He didn't even have the strength to hug her back.

"I didn't know where else to go," he said weakly, hiding himself in Quinn's much smaller figure, "when I got the call I went there... Oh my god, Quinn it was... Oh my god," he was seeing it in his head. Quinn could see it behind his eyes. It was taking a lot of her energy not to cry, after seeing him so broken down. Quinn cupped his face in her hands, using her thumbs to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

"Hey, Clay, come back, you're here, I'm here, it's okay," She cooed to him, "I need you to tell me what happened."

"Car accident," He swallowed thickly, "My dad is out of town, they called me. My sister, she, Quinn I have to go back. I left because I couldn't stay and look at them, knowing there was nothing I could do. But I have to go back. I need to make sure they're okay."

"Do you want me to come with you?" It was a small question, it was simple, but Quinn knew that it meant more, even as it left her lips, she knew what she was really asking, Can I be a part of your life again?

Clay only nodded, reaching one of his hands up and taking hold of Quinn's, he looked so exhausted, so broken, so worn out, but still, he smiled at her. And it was in that moment that Quinn knew that he might just be the death of her.

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