November 3rd

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." Mama Karen read the scripture from John‬ ‭chapter 16 verse 33‬.

"What do you think he meant by that?" She asked looking at Renae as she closed her Bible.

"Jesus?" Renae asked and Karen nodded.

"Oh, well, exactly what he said. He wanted to warn him of the things to come now that he was going to be with the Father (God). At first he wasn't worried because Jesus was with him. By the world thing, he saying we will have trouble here but in him we'll find peace. This world is pretty wicked, although we have good, there's also a lot of evil here and the only person or people we'll really find peace in, is in Jesus and God. Jesus said we'll find peace in him though because he overcame this world, he died on the cross for us. For every possible sin we could have done he died for it." Renae explained and Karen smiled.

"How do you think this fits in with you?" She asked.

"I don't know... I guess I have to learn to trust in him and stop getting so worked up about things I simply can't control."

Smiling, Karen embraced her.

"Mhm, I was told dat you had this saying something about expectations?" She inquired and Renae nodded.

"Expectations leads to disappointments."

"Why did you live by that?" She asked and Renae shrugged.

"You do know." Karen insisted.

"Things worked better for me that way. All my life I've been disappointed and let down. As I got older I just started having less hope in people or things in general. A lot of that changed when I met King... but then the thing with his ex popped up." She expressed.

"And it put you back in that dark place?" Karen asked and she nodded.

"I was wrong for how I reacted huh?" She asked and Karen smiled softly and nodded.

"But that's normal dear, I would have acted the same way. Not in front of the girl because that's what she wanted, but in private? Oh yeah most definitely, pans would've been thrown and all." Karen answered and they shared a laugh.

"Have you tried to apologize to him though?" She asked.

"No... I wanted to a few days ago but I think he went back to New Orleans."

Karen had the same look Dajon had and Renae couldn't figure out why.

"What do you know?" She quizzed and Karen laughed softly.

"Nothing love, are you hungry?" She asked standing.

"My aunt actually made me eat some roast and potatoes before I got here."

"Mm, well it's twelve in the afternoon, want a snack?" She asked.

"I wouldn't mind it." Renae answered getting off the bed.

"You just stay in here, my hands work." She spoke and Renae laughed.

"Alright, I'll go head and get Criminal Minds set up."

"You do that, I'll be back and take your shoes off!" She called before disappearing around the corner.

Unlacing her sneakers, Renae put her Nikes to the side and got comfortable on Karen's bed.

Once her head hit the soft pillow Renae fought to keep her eyes open.

She's been with Dajon every single day ever since they got the news of him doing better and his body finally accepting the meds.

Today would be the first day he himself had told her to stay in the house to get some rest.

Bryson was with him so she had nothing to worry about.

Staring at the tv, she tried to focus on the show but sleep was calling her name and surprisingly she answered.

**

3 pm

The sound of Karen screaming startled Renae.

Jumping out of her sleep she grabbed the nearest vase and rushed out the room.

"Are you serious?" Karen asked King then laughed.

Her laughter quickly ceased when they saw a confused Renae.

"What's wrong with you?" Karen asked and Renae stared at the 2 for a moment then smiled nervously.

"Nothing... I uh.. nothing." Renae mumbled shaking her head as she made her way back into the room.

Karen looked at King and he shrugged.

"I told you about your laugh crazy lady, she prolly thought somebody was in here." He told her then chuckled standing up.

"Oh Lord... poor thing, she probably thinks I'm crazy."

Laughing, King headed around the corner and into his mom's room.

Renae turned over and stared at him for a moment before she sat up.

"Can I come in?" He asked and she nodded scooting over.

Walking further into the room, he sat on the side of the bed and just stared at her for a while.

"I thought you left." She spoke looking at her nails.

"Without you?" He asked and she smiled softly. "Yeah." She mumbled rubbing her arm.

Looking her over, his eyes landed on her wrist.

"Have you been cutting?" He asked looking over her left arm. "No."

"What are these Nae?" He questioned touching her scars.

"They aren't razor cuts." She replied trying to pull her arm away but he wouldn't allow her.

"What are these Nae?" He repeated.

"I scratched at the old cuts... that's all." She answered pulling her arm away and he sighed.

"Go ahead and say it, I already beat myself up about it." She stressed looking at her at arm then shook her head.

"Do you hate me?" He asked staring at her.

"You think I did this as a get back?" She questioned.

"No, I just want to know if you hate me." He stated. "I don't... I couldn't even force myself to." She admitted.

"I'm sorry for putting my hands on you." She apologized.

"You did slap me pretty hard." He joked and she smiled softly.

"Nah, but it's cool. It wasn't right but I opened that door when I went back to her." He told her and she nodded.

"Is it really yours?" She asked nervously.

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about." He answered laying back and she stared at him anxiously.

"I never went back to N.O. I was looking for da niggas and I met with Autumn at da doctors." He announced.

"To take the test?" She asked and he nodded.

"Oh." She mumbled looking down. "Do you trust me?" He asked tilting her chin.

"I do." She answered honestly.

"I haven't gotten the results back yet but that ain't my kid Nae." He told her.

"She said she poked a hole in the condom."

"And you believe her over me?" He questioned.

"I don't know what to believe King... I'm scared." She revealed growing teary eyed.

"I wanted to be your first everything and here she is popping up with your baby." She cried.

"I wanted that. Not now but eventually, I wanted to be your wife, have your kids and just grow old together. You're my protector, my sanctuary AND soulmate. How can I compete with her if that's your baby?"

"Do you really think I would turn my back on you because of her?" He asked sitting up.

Shrugging, she wiped her eyes.

"I can't compete with a baby King. It'll be selfish of me to take that from you and that's not me." She cried.

"I can't." She croaked, she tried to get up but he pulled her into him.

"Stop running from me baybeh... I'm not gonna hurt you." He promised as he rubbed her back.

"It's not mine Nae... I wouldn't do that to you." He told her but it only made her cry more.

He wanted to tell her what the doctor told him but he needed the paperwork to back him up.

He knew she was scared and truth be told if the doctor would've never informed him of Autumn's plan, he was afraid of there being a chance.

Yeah he was drunk, yeah things went too far but he used protection.

She never touched the condom, but she swore up and down that she did.

The things he thought of doing didn't sit well on his heart.

Although he wanted Autumn to pay, the baby was innocent and unlike Autumn the baby deserved to live.

He needed these results to hurry up.

**

April 19th

"Do you have a good relationship with your mom?" Tish the therapist asked Renae.

"Define "good"." She spoke and Tish laughed softly.

"I'll take that as a no."

"I wouldn't really say it's bad... but it's not all that good." She told her and Tish nodded.

"What about Bryson? He's pretty good to you right?"

"Yeah... sometimes I call him "dad" and sometimes it's just "Bryson." Renae answered.

"Why's that? Are you afraid to see him as your father too?" She asked.

"A little... I don't want to get too attached to him then something happens." Renae admitted.

"Why not? What's bad about letting him hold that title permanently?" She asked and Renae shrugged.

"Men in my life don't seem to ever stay long. Once I get attached and start letting them in, something happens."

"Men... are we still talking about family?" She asked.

"Family... friends.. guys just never stay in my life long. It's like I'm cursed or something."

"Give me an example." Tish spoke leaning forward.

"My biological father's brother stopped calling me after my sixth birthday. Bryson's family.. well I feel like they only tolerate me because of Dajon. Guy friends that I had during high school always stopped speaking to me out of nowhere. Like one day it was just "Who is you?" My cousin Keenan, yeah I see him as a brother but he's always in the streets. He's there but then he really not there. I guess the only solid guy I really have and can count on is DJ.. that's my best friend. I'm just afraid one day he'll grow tired of me and leave like my biological dad then." She expressed and Tish stared at her with watery eyes.

"I love Bryson don't get me wrong but he's not my actual father... I just wanted a relationship with my real dad and he never tried. It's like he never wanted me but he only pretended because of Bryson. It's like I'm a toy or something." She spoke then dropped her head.

Tish, sympathizing with her got up from her spot and walked over and hugged her.

"You don't have to feel that way Renae... it's not fair what's been happening in your life but I swear to you, you are so important and very much needed. You have to learn to let your dad go and let Bryson in. He's been there since day one, you owe him that title at least Nae, it's hard but I know you can do it, ok?" Tish spoke pulling back and stared at her.

Nodding, Renae smiled softly as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"You actually care about me huh?" She asked and Tish smiled.

"Of course I do, I see so much of myself in you. I just want you to win Nae, can you do that for me?"

Nodding, Renae hugged her again.

It's what she needed.

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Thoughts?