《Renae Dreams (Currently Editing)》32.) Spewing ignorance
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September 5th
"Are you ok with dis?" King asked Renae as they sat outside an ice cream shop sharing a bowl of strawberry and birthday cake ice cream.
"The birth control? Yeah... I don't think I would want you to wear condoms, I wouldn't be able to feel you." She admitted.
They had left the Doctors about 45 minutes ago, Renae decided to get the implant in her arm afraid to take the plan b pill King got for her.
Chuckling, King placed a kiss on the back of her neck and she giggled.
"It was honestly hard for me to use a condom, my dick just wouldn't allow me." He told her, each time he put one on it tore.
He had three different king sizes and every single condom he put on broke.
"Does that usually happen?" She asked eating the ice cream.
"Nah, da condoms usually stay on." He answered truthfully and she giggled.
"Maybe your monster down there knows we're meant to be." She replied watching a few people walk by.
"Oh trust me, he knows just as well as your pussy does."
Giggling, Renae leaned back into his arms and smiled.
"I love you Kingston... I really do."
"I love you babygirl, always know dat aight?" He replied and she nodded.
"How you feel?" He asked putting his spoon down.
"About?"
"What we've been doing." He clarified.
"Oh... can I be honest?" She asked scooping more ice cream up.
"I'm listening." He assured keeping his eyes on those walking a little too close to their table.
"The first night I kept seeing their faces, like they were taunting me. I know after the whole incident I've been extremely horny and always wanting to be under you. I still feel that way now, I guess now I just always wanna be around you and if I'm being honest. I think I need you inside of me, but I'm trying to keep myself together." She admitted.
"When's da last time you had da flashbacks?" He asked.
"Just da night of your birthday, I haven't seen them after." She answered and he nodded.
"You're still in constant need of me though right?" He asked and she nodded shyly.
"I'm extremely horny, I'm not sure if I've always been like this but that was another reason for why I started dancing. It helped balance out my hormones. But now..." she paused.
"Do I sound crazy to you?" She asked and he chuckled shaking his head.
"Nah babygirl." He assured hugging her.
"Well... I know you have to work with your friends soon, and I also know that that line of work is time consuming and exhausting. Can I just ask one thing?"
Nodding, she took a deep breath.
"Can we fuck at least three.... hopefully four times a day?" She asked nervously and he chuckled.
"That's all you want ma?" He asked rubbing her stomach.
"Yes, I know we've built an emotional connection and spiritual connection before anything else and now we have the sexual connection and now I guess.."
"Your emotions are through da roof and you want, if I allow it, for us ta make love four times a day?" He asked finishing her sentence.
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"Is that too much?" She asked.
"Nah, honestly I was thinking a lil higher but I had to be realistic. I can give you dat." He assured.
"Promise?" She asked shyly, chuckling he nodded.
"Thank you."
"You don't gotta thank me ma." He told her as she got up to throw the trash away. Standing as well, King wrapped his arms around her from behind as walked the sidewalk.
"What if I wanted to move down here?" She asked recording a snap chat video of them.
"I like it down here... I feel like I can start over. I know my problems will still be with me but I think my biggest problem is my mom..." she told him.
"How about we spend a month or two down here? So you can see if you really wanna make dis move?" He suggested.
"I'm ok with that if you are?" I don't want to keep you from your mom."
"Long as I make sure I call her, she won't mind ma." He told her.
"I want you to talk to her though." She replied as they approached his car.
"I will, where we going next?" He asked opening the door for her.
"I wanted to finish getting my right arm done... can we?" She asked.
Smirking, he looked down at her arms.
"What you tryna get?"
"I want a unicorn and some flowers, butterflies maybe a dove and some on my fingers." She told him.
"You tryna match my fly?" He asked looking down at his arms and she giggled.
"Maybe." She replied grinning.
Towering over her, she looked down nervously.
"Don't do that King."
"My bad ma." He apologized stepping back.
"It's not that... I just get bothered down there when you're close like that." She revealed.
"Oh... my fault." He chuckled letting her get inside, closing the door, he walked around and got inside.
"When does my training start?" She asked taking ahold of his hand.
"You wanna come wit me ta work... well ta meet wit Ty dem?" He asked starting the car up.
"Yeah." She answered replying back to Dajon.
"Nae?" He called in a serious tone. "Yup?" She answered looking over at him.
"How'd you learn how ta work da pole like dat?" He asked and she smiled shyly.
"Let me guess YouTube?" He asked jokingly and she laughed.
"No, when I got home from the center, for some reason strip routines were sort of my warm up go to. I guess the alcohol gave me the courage to finally show you." She revealed and he smirked.
"What else are you hiding from me?"
"You'll have to wait and find out." She replied grinning and he chuckled.
"Renae Zuri Brown... I like dat." He spoke pulling on his chin hair.
"Renae Zuri Stone..."
"Somebody's thinking about the future."
She teased. "Just trying to see how my last name sound attached to you." He stated and she smiled looking out the window.
Feeling her phone vibrate, she looked down seeing it was her mom.
Sighing, she shook her head before answering.
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"So you take a trip with that thug of yours and forget you have a family?" Egypt spat.
"That's the first thing you say?" Renae asked slightly hurt.
"You ignored all my calls, I haven't seen you since the incident. What in the hell did you expect?"
"That's a lie, I stopped by every other day and you know it. You just wouldn't speak to me because I had King with me!" Renae snapped and Egypt laughed.
"Oh so you get yo lil fast ass cherry popped and think you're grown?"
Furrowing her brows, Renae pulled the phone from her ear to make sure she heard that correctly.
"I've been trying to be nice to you because of those issues you had to deal with but I'm not gonna tolerate any disrespect!"
"Disrespect?" Renae asked in disbelief then laughed.
"When have I disrespected you? Soon as I answered the phone you're cursing me out. Not once have you asked me how I was feeling, not once have you asked if I were ok. You don't really care about me, you never have and I see that now. I guess that's why you always tried to push me to dad. You didn't want me just like he didn't!" She cried, King tried to take the phone but she snatched away from him.
"If I didn't love you, I would've put yo black ass out a long time ago! You are ungrateful! You and your brother, at least he's trying to change, I don't see it for you!"
"I've never met someone as disrespectful and ungrateful until I had you. Always crying, always wanting, never satisfied with ANYTHING. All you do is cry and play victim, like you got everybody wrapped around your finger but me! You've turned into this rude person the minute that ugly ass boy came into your life!"
Nodded slowly, Renae wiped away her tears and bit the inside of her cheek.
"Every time I turn around there's a fucking problem going on with you and who's always there to disrespect me? That ugly ass boyfriend of yours. First his mama called me talking crazy, I see where he get it from and now he has you brainwashed! You let dick cloud your judgement! As if I won't go upside your head. Since you wanna be grown, don't bring your fast ass back to this fucking house!"
She yelled.
"I wouldn't be surprised if you gave those men a reason to tou—." Catching herself, Renae arched her brow as her heart sank.
"Are you done?" Renae asked and Egypt laughed.
"Oh yeah you definitely do need a good ass whooping, that little boy got your head big."
"Actually he helped me see things that I've tried to ignore." She replied and Egypt laughed obnoxiously.
"Just like yo father with that smart ass mouth of yours. Keep trying me little girl."
"Let me be that then, you can stop calling me." She told her about to hang up until Egypt started yelling like a mad woman.
"Bitch! Do you know I will break your fucking face?! Bring yo ass around here and I'ma show you who really grown, you ungrateful, bratty hoe!" Hanging up, Renae pulled the phone from her ear slowly letting the last part marinate.
"Ungrateful, bratty hoe!"
Staring down at her phone, her tears dropped onto her screen as she used her shaky hand to block Egypt's contact.
"Nae?" King called grabbing her hand.
Shaking her head, she wiped her face angrily as she stared out the window trying her hardest not to break down.
"What did I tell you? If nobody else had you I always will." He spoke trying to control his anger.
"Baybeh?" King called in a softer tone.
"She never loved me... she thinks I wanted those guys to touch me. I just wanted to hear her say she loved me but she found every reason to hate me... she called me a hoe." She cried looking at him with watery eyes.
"I never wanted to be touched and beat on... Do you think it's fun to have grown men attacking me the way they did? To have them use words that they have and force themselves on me even after I said no? She couldn't even handle half of the things I've went through and she thinks I wanted that? The only person I ever wanted to touch me was you."
Pulling over into a neighborhood, King parked the car and took off his seat belt.
Turning in his seat, he grabbed Renae's face and made her look him right in the eye.
"Don't you let her words take you back to dat dark place. I don't know what her problem is but yo mama ain't happy with herself and she's taking it out on you. Fuck what she said, it's not your fault for what those cowards did. You didn't provoke them, nothing you did, wore or said gave them permission to invade your personal space. I love you Renae, every inch of you, inside and out and I will fuck da shit out of you every chance I get just because. From here on out da only way we're going is up ma, do you unda'stand me?" He spoke with much authority and passion.
Nodding, he leaned forward and wiped her face.
"Everything she just said, use it as motivation to go harder. Everyone who's ever took something from you, use dat as motivation to go harder and shine on dem. You are soooo amazing baybeh, you are da light of my life and filled with nothing but love babygirl. It's time for you to shine and I can't wait to see you do just dat. I'm here and I got you. I told you from day one I was here for you and I meant dat shit. I got you forever baybeh, das on my soul." He told her then pulled her into him.
Wrapping her arms around his neck, she hugged him tightly as the tears poured down her face.
"I love you so much, you are such a blessing to me King. I don't know what I would do without you." She spoke through her tears.
"I love you babygirl, just know I always got you, no matter what."
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