《Renae Dreams (Currently Editing)》7.) Broken Hearted
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April 25th
Runaway love
Runaway love
Runaway love
Little Nicole is only ten years old
She's steady tryin' to figure
why the world is so cold.
Why she's not pretty,
and nobody seems to like her.
Alcoholic step dad always wanna strike her. Yells and abuses,
leaves her with some bruises.
Teachers ask questions;
she makin' up excuses.
Bleedin' on the inside,
cryin' on the out.
It's only one girl really
knows what she about.
Her name is lil' Stacy,
and they become friends.
Promise that they'll
always be tight till the end
Until one day lil' Stacy gets shot
A drive-by bullet went
stray up on her block
Now Nicole stuck up in the world
on her own
Forced to think that
hell is a place called home
Nothin' else to do
but get her clothes and pack
She says she's 'bout to run away
and never come back
Runaway love
Runaway love
Runaway love,
Runaway love
Runaway love
Runaway love
Runaway love
Runaway love
Little Erica is eleven years old
She's steady tryin' to figure out
why the world is so cold
So she pops X to get rid
of all the pain
Plus she's havin' sex
with a boy who's sixteen
Emotions run deep,
and she thinks she's in love
So there's no protection;
he's usin' no glove
Never thinkin' 'bout the consequences
of her actions
Livin' for today
and not tomorrow's satisfaction
The days go by,
and her belly gets big
The father bails out;
he ain't ready for a kid
Knowin' her mama will blow it all outta proportion
Plus she lives poor,
so no money for abortion
In the midst of dancing to Ludacris featuring Mary J Blige Runaway Love, Renae stopped mid-spin noticing Kingston's reflection in the mirror behind her. It's been two months since her disappearance and had King searching for her like a crazed man who had just loss his best friend.
Walking towards her radio, Renae cut the music off and sat down on the dance floor. The tension was thick as cement; it was clear King had some questions and pent up anger towards her.
"Could've answered my calls" were the first words that left his mouth.
Looking down, Renae rubbed her arm nervously. She figured he would've forgotten about her by now. After all, she felt like a temporary memory, she had hoped that everyone would've forgotten she existed.
"First time I see you and you have nothing to say?" His brow quirked as he sat in the chair resting by the door.
There was about a good 30 feet between the two but the way King looked, Renae desired more distance.
"What do you want me to say?" She finally asked.
King chuckled smugly, "How about, hey sorry I've been ignoring you but I took some time to get my head right?"
"It's not like I planned it, it just... happened." She said.
"What? You disappearing? Having me go up to yo damn job asking if they knew anything about you? Or driving around dis city thinking I'll see you walking or sitting at tha' bus stop?!"
He was angry but she was confused. They rarely knew one another in their short time they spent together. This was unusual for her.
Exhaling, Renae picked up her sweater and tied it around her waist as she stood. Leaving was the best thing for her anxious state of mind and any tiny thing that King did would open doors that she fought to close.
"So... you're running again?" King stood.
"I never ran."
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"What tha' hell do you call it then Nae?" His face hardened as his eyes bore into her.
Ignoring him, she made sure she had her things, kept her eyes low and headed towards the door, until he grabbed her arm. "Stop!"
King's eyes softened when he noticed the bruise and slowly loosened his grip.
"I'm sorry ok? It wasn't up to me to just leave like that, but I'm here now, so just let me be!"
"Where'd you go Nae?" His voice softened as he took a step toward her.
"I told you, away!"
"Is dat part of it?" He pointed to her bruised arm.
Wiping under her eyes, she shrugged.
"What happened to you ma?" He reached over and made her look at him but she turned away.
"Life," She pulled away before walking out.
Standing there sulking in his thoughts for a moment, King quickly pulled himself out of it and ran out behind her. "Renae!"
Catching up to her, he reached for her hand before she could make it to the stairs.
"Leave. Me. Aloneee!" She dropped her things and began swinging on him wildly.
King blocked a few of her blows but got caught a dew times in the face before he managed to grab her hands and pulled her into him as she cried hysterically.
The night of Renae being committed into the hospital for attempted suicide, one of the nurses suggested to Egypt that she get Renae some mental help. Since it was Egypt's first time having to go through something like that with Renae, she trusted the nurse and didn't do a background check on the psych facility that was up in South Carolina.
For a couple of months Renae had to fight for her life. There were Doctors trying to force themselves on her and mentally ill patients sneaking into her room intending to do harm.
She was allowed no visitors, only two, twenty minute phone calls every two weeks, she had to force herself to remain strong.
There was so much abuse she endured, she frequently waited for the next attack with an empty heart. There were plenty of nights when she thought about ending it all just to grant herself some form of peace but they always caught her.
When they began to add extra time as if she were a prisoner, she knew she had to build herself up to get herself out and that's exactly what she did. She faked it until she made it, only to come home with every memory crashing into her.
Renae cried her eyes out as she replayed the trauma she endured. How was she supposed to tell anyone what happened and how it affected her?
Kingston pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her protectively. He knew that cry all too well.
It resembled the sound of a mother finding out that her only child had been taken from her. The earth shattering cry that shakes the ground under your feet. Filled with nothing but pain, anger and resentment. She was hurting and slowly giving up on life.
***
"Get your shit and get out!" Amara yelled throwing Bryson things down the stairs.
"Jealousy really doesn't look good on you, it's a damn shame I put up with you for this long," he shook his head as he put his stuff in the black trash bags.
"Fuck you and shut the hell up! You spend more time with that bitch than you do me and I'm supposed to be your girlfriend!" She began throwing his clothes down.
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"That's because you weren't acting like a damn girlfriend! Who talks down on children that aren't theirs? My kids did nothing to you and neither did Egypt! Not once have I told her half the shit you said about those kids! Because I'm a grown ass man and cared more about keeping you happy and looking after them since nobody else would! You're foul!" He snapped.
"I don't care! You should've stayed with that bitch! Maybe she would've kept a roof over her head!"
"What did you just say?" His face hardened as he eyed her.
"You heard what I said, get the fuck out!" She glared at him before storming into the bedroom.
Shaking his head, he frustratedly stuff the bags. Walking through the living room, he picked up the new flat screen tv that he recently bought along with the DVD player. Heading out the house he placed his stuff in the back seat then headed back inside the house to collect half of everything he bought.
Twenty minutes had gone by before he managed to take everything he paid for, leaving the apartment semi-empty.
"I should take the damn food too," he grumbled before he walked out the house and slammed the door shut.
Between work, trying to make sure he found a good place for Egypt and the kids to stay and trying to keep Amara happy, he was maxed out. It was only a matter of time before he exploded and today would have been that day if he didn't know a thing a two about restraint.
***
"Where yo ass been at?" Mike, one of the locals asked once he copped some dope from Keenan.
"I moved out my old spot about a month ago, I've been trying to get my new shit in order," Keenan answered, stuffing the money in his pocket.
"Word? Where you stay now?" Mike asked, sitting next to him on the bench as they watched the younger kids play ball at the court.
"Why would I tell you that?"
Chuckling, Mike nodded understanding. "You heard about yo lil cousin wanting to get down?"
"Yeah, I heard about that, don't worry I got him in line," Keenan coolly replied. Truth was, he had no idea about Dajon trying to get in with the streets but he wouldn't tell Mike that.
"Look who the fuck popped up, long time no see nigga." Rod, an associate of Keenan's spoke.
"What it do?" Keenan greeted after slapping hands with him.
"Shitttt, just working," he shrugged, dapping up Mike. "I heard y'all supposed to be jumping in some lil high school dudes, you think they valid?"
Shrugging, Keenan pulled out his phone to see where King and Malik were at. "You know how shit go down during the summer, mindswell have some curious cats to train."
"Do you do the jumping in or do you choose a few of yo young bulls to do it?" Mike asked.
"My young bulls handle it, I just watch to see how the newbies act."
"I remember those days," Mike chuckled, staring at the kids.
"Where the hell these niggas at?" Keenan mumbled to himself realizing that both Kingston and Malik haven't opened his message yet.
"Man, I'm about to check up on my mom if y'all see Malik or Stone's ass tell them niggas to hit my line," He asserted as he stood and retrieved his car keys.
Malik may have been with Brae or his sister but what was King's excuse?
***
The next morning
"This... is your house?" Renae asked once she exited Kingston's car.
"Mm-hmm, moved in about three weeks ago, still close to my mom's crib though."
"I thought you said we were going to learn about cars?" She inquired wrapping the scarf around her hair.
"I did, at my spot." He chuckled softly opening the door letting the coolness from the ac hit them right in the face.
"Oh..." was all she said as she looked his apartment over.
Things were still awkward between the two, well on her end mostly.
"Did you always have dat elephant tattoo in tha' middle of yo chest?" He asked walking towards his kitchen leaving her to soak in the aura of the interior.
There were floor to ceiling windows, plenty of light fixtures, the living was large and adjacent to the kitchen and dining room are. The entire home was filled with nothing but earth tones that meshed together perfectly.
"I got this the same day I got back down here," she finally answered while following him into the kitchen.
"To cover up more bruises?" He queried.
Nodding, she leaned against the back of the dining chair and just stared at him.
She was trying to find flaws in him to push him away but couldn't get a read.
"Actually a scar." She mumbled catching his attention.
Wiping his hands with the paper towel, he walked over towards her with a slight frown on his face.
Unsure of what he was about to do, she moved to the side only for him to follow her lead.
"Stop doing dat." He spoke stepping into her personal space and leaned down some to search for the scar.
"What happened?" He asked brushing his finger along the scar.
"Some crazy lady came into my room while I was getting ready for bed talking about she saw me talking to her boyfriend. I didn't even say anything because I knew she wasn't wrapped too tight, but then she pulled a blade out on me. I honestly didn't think she would use it but the bitch actually sliced me up." She explained as she opened and closed her fists trying to keep herself calm due to him being so close to her.
"Don't you know how to fight?" He asked seeing another scar on her left shoulder.
They were trying to kill her.
"Yeah... my step— dad taught my brother and I how to box. I just, I guess I'm just afraid to actually do it." She spoke and he looked up at her.
They held eye contact for a moment until she averted her eyes to his sandy brown carpet.
"In a situation like dat, your first instinct should be to defend yourself." He told her as he walked back into the kitchen and she released the breath she was holding.
"I'm aware." She mumbled over the conversation.
"You want something to eat?" He asked catching on to the vibe.
"We can eat after." She answered making her way into his living room.
Shaking his head, he went ahead and decided to make breakfast.
It was 10 in the morning.
Feeling her phone vibrate, Renae removed it from her pocket before she took a seat on the sofa.
Seeing that is was Malik's sister Zina, she stared at the text for a moment before she went ahead and replied.
It's been two months and they were still living in hotels.
They got kicked out of the Holiday Inn for late payments, now they were staying at a less luxurious hotel.
It wasn't bad, but the tv only came with forty channels, the fridge was two feet tall and their toilet got clogged up every other week.
She figured that her being away for those 2 months would have given Egypt the motivation to actually get them out of their situation but nothing's changed but the weather.
"Nae?" King called for the third time, snapping out of her thoughts she blinked a few times before she looked over at him seeing him standing there with her journal in his hand.
"You left dis in my car." He announced, she thanked him as she took it from him.
"I ain't look at it if that's what you're thinking." He assured as he picked up the tv remote and handed it to her.
"I wouldn't have cared." She answered as she extended it to him but he shook his head. "That's yo personal shit ma."
"You can read it." She assured. "I'll do it later aight?" He replied and she nodded placing it on his table.
Seeing that she was trying to coach herself on things, he decided to give her some space.
It was clear she was battling things internally but trying to put on a brave face.
He just hoped that the things she gone through wouldn't make her push him away.
They were barely friends but he knew some way, some how they met for a reason.
He just prayed she could see that.
*
*
*
What are we thinking?
Things moving too slow? What do y'all want to see more of?
Do y'all like the story better in 3rd person pov or from their perspective?
Edit: 2020
I put this in the other 2 books but I'll include it in here. Let's start a trend with this series on Twitter and Instagram hashtag #RenaeDreamsSeries and I'll repost/reply
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