grayson astor

Holding my phone under the conference table, I watched the small blue dot travel along the map. If I told Kalani I've been tracking her movements, I know it would cause an unnecessary argument. One I don't have time for, especially because I don't even know why I'm doing this. I don't know why I care where she is and I don't know why I'm concerned she seems to walk everywhere. Does she not have a car? This may be New York City, but a car is still necessary. She shouldn't be walking this much. Research told me walking is actually quite good for pregnant women, but knowing Kalani walks around alone puts this unsettling feeling in my stomach and I hate that I don't know why.

Perhaps because she walks around 24/7 with something belonging to me—my child. I've tried to deny it. I've tried to neglect the idea of a human walking around this world with my DNA. But I can't ignore it. Not when every time I see her, her stomach has grown and she's got this indescribable glow to her.

It pains me I've made effort to rarely see her. I've resorted to tracking her phone and having text conversations, but I can't bring myself to actually see her. It's pathetic, but when I lay my eyes on her I fear I might do something I'll regret. All I can do is reminisce on her warm mouth wrapping around my cock and her soft hands running along my body. And the way she moaned when I-

"Mr. Astor," my name was called the moment my thoughts started getting out of control. Thank goodness.

"Yes. Let's just get rid of them all," I shoved my phone into my pocket. This meeting was about the budget cuts being made and consisted of five people, all directors of different departments.

My family's company is a telecommunications company that has been in the family for generations. It's not only the largest one in the entire country, but I'm working on a project allowing us to go international, starting with China who is investing a lot of money into us establishing a headquarters in Shanghai.

"Sorry. Get rid of all benefits that are the driving factor for why people want to work for Astor Incorporation?" The woman nervously laughed like this was a terrible idea and it probably was.

In order for this company to run, it means having happy employees who strive for greatness at work. But a lot of money is going into building up our headquarters in China and it needs to come from somewhere. If these people knew it was either take away their insurance benefits or get rid of their monthly goodie bags then they would stop looking at me like I killed their cat.

"Yes. And I want to open up the internship program again for fresh ideas on the Shanghai headquarters," I instructed while looking at the time on my watch. I have a call with my father in two minutes he would be very angry if I missed. "I assume you don't need me here for the rest of the meeting?"

"N-No sir," she shook her head and I stood to my feet.

"Great. I need you to put together a team of architects and engineers for the blueprints in Shanghai. I'm travelling there at the end of this month to look at the grounds we're buying and building on. We need to expedite things and I want a finalized plan in six months for what everything will look like," I gave clear instructions while I left the conference room.

As soon as I arrived in my office, like clockwork, my father called me. I picked up the phone on my desk just as I sat down.

"Son, how are you?" My father asked before we dove right into a conversation about work.

Although he hasn't retired yet, most of his work is done by me as COO. I normally run him through everything that's been discussed for the week and how he feels about certain business arrangements. I do everything and he gets most of the credit and money for it.

"What are you going to do about the girl?" His sudden change of topic threw me off completely and I wasn't quite sure the intentions of the conversation.

"Kalani. She's having the baby," I informed him. I never pushed for an abortion, mainly because it's not my place. If she would like to have the baby, that's completely her decision. But I will admit, her not being surprised by my lack of interest did bother me and for some reason I wanted to prove her wrong.

"Are you making her sign a NDA?" He bluntly asked. I ran my hand through my hair.

That would be the smart thing to do. Have her sign a contract promising she won't ever tell anyone who the father of the child is. She would easily sign it too. She's repeatedly expressed she doesn't need my help and I've made it clear I'm not necessarily happy about her having this baby. Yet why can't I seem to shake her off? I text her and I call her and I track her fucking phone and the idea of just letting her do this pregnancy alone makes me sick to my stomach and I don't fucking know why.

"What's the hesitation for? It will look really bad on the company if it's spread that a random hook up landed you your first child," he sternly told me as if I haven't already thought of all this already.

I put this stupid hunt for a wife on hold and have cut Bria out of my life. The idea of Kalani potentially becoming my wife for the CEO position has crossed my mind more times than once. It would be convenient. Marrying someone else means having a child with her, which means two children I don't particularly want. If it was Kalani I would be killing two birds with one stone. But not only would Kalani never agree to marry me, but I'm worried the marriage would turn into something other than just convenience which I don't have time for.

"If you can't make tough decisions like this one, how can I expect you to be ready for the CEO position? And if you're not ready, I have a long list of candidates who are far more qualified. Imagine the embarrassment you'd be to this family if you were the first generation that didn't continue on this empire," he jabbed at me where he knew it would hurt. He knows how much I value the opinion of the public eye. I can already imagine what they would say about me if I didn't get the position.

"I'm sorting it all out. I have time," I gritted through my teeth. He's not retiring until next year and even then, this isn't his problem. Whether or not I find a wife is something I can worry about on my own without him.

Our phone call didn't last long after that and I immediately instructed my assistant to quickly write up a NDA. My father is right. I need to start making tough decisions and the first one would be establishing Kalani and this baby can have no place in my life.

My assistant wrote up the NDA and I left the building for the day when the sun went down. I kept my eyes on my phone as I opened the app I was using to track Kalani. She seemed to be at a cafe in Manhattan and has been there for what looks like the past half hour.

Traffic wasn't terrible and I was able to arrive at the cafe in timely matter. I don't know what I expected to see, but it certainly wasn't Kalani seated at a table beside this man. A man who was smiling and had his hand on her stomach. She's twenty one weeks pregnant now and her bump is recognizable.

Seeing this caused fury in me and my blood felt like it was coming to a boil. For some reason watching this man's hands be on her was making my fist want to come in contact with his jaw just to wipe that smile away.

He's ginger. I never knew Kalani was into gingers but he had a trimmed beard and freshly cut hair. I didn't need to look long to know I didn't like him.

Kalani's eyes went up and arrived on mine the moment I entered the cafe. They looked at me like she got caught doing something she wasn't supposed to be doing.

"G-Grayson," Kalani adjusted herself in her seat. The man sat the slightest bit straighter as if he was trying to size me up. "How did you know I was here?" She blinked in shock of my presence.

"I didn't. I was driving by and wanted a...croissant," I pointed to the food on display at the counter.

"You were driving around in Manhattan? At this time?" She questioned considering it was seven at night and the sun had already set. "Whatever. I was just leaving anyways."

"Can I give you a ride?" The man stood at the same time as her. I removed her coat from the back of the chair, holding it up for her arms to go into the sleeves. I buttoned it up and she looked at me with these soft eyes I've never seen before. The corners of my lips lifted the slightest bit, my thumb brushing along her jaw as I fixed her hair out from the coat.

"I'm taking her home," I quickly made clear. My hand found her waist like I was putting a possessive claim on her. And maybe I was, but I wanted her as far away from this man as possible. Before she even had the chance to say goodbye, I pulled her away and out of the cafe.

"What about your croissant?" She smartly asked like she knew the answer already. She had this adorable smirk on her face that I didn't want to ever see be put away. I pulled her closer the further we walked until we got to the parking lot where I opened her door.

"Why were you with him and why was he touching you?" I started our drive to her apartment.

"My ex boyfriend, Toby. He recently bought a house and I have larger parcels for the nursery that can't be delivered to my apartment. I was asking him if I can have them shipped to his house," she informed me as if her words had no effect. I held onto the steering wheel with a firmer grip. Her and her ex have a friendship? It shouldn't bother me, but it does. How long did they date? When did they break up? Do I need to beat him up for breaking her heart?

"Why would you ship it to him and not my place?"

I live in a house where all her packages can easily be delivered to. Admittedly, her using this other man for things related to my own child really pissed me off. As much as I've said I don't want children, having another man provide for my own child seems even worse than having one. Having his hands on the belly where my baby is makes my skin crawl and that's when I realized I haven't even felt it. I've never felt her stomach. I went to one ultrasound and that seemed like enough for me. But for some reason I'm eager to feel it.

"Maybe because you've expressed you don't want to be involved with the baby?" She gave me the reminder I needed. She's right, I don't. But every time I am away from her or don't hear from her for more than two days I feel this tightening feeling in my chest and it feels like I'm getting fucking heart burn.

I stopped at a red light, opening the glove compartment to pull out papers stapled together. "I need you to sign this," I placed a pen on her lap along with the papers.

"What is it?" She skimmed the papers.

"NDA about the baby," I said and my eyes widened when she used the dashboard to sign the necessary spots immediately. "Are you not going to read it? Go over it with a lawyer maybe?"

It almost offended me how okay she was with signing it. She truly expects nothing from me and I can't believe my father ever accused her of intentionally impregnating herself just to scam me for money. For some reason it hurts that she wouldn't even want to attempt to have me in this child's life.

"I'm assuming it's stating you don't want custody or the baby, you don't want me informing anyone about who the father is, and I have no rights to claim child support or anything from you. Correct?" She put the pen and papers back into the glove compartment.

"I mean, yes. But you should still read these things with lawyers, Lani. Make sure you always understand terms and conditions," I informed her not necessarily for this situation, but every situation she could ever get into. I'm not someone interested in getting anything from her, but I could've easily put things in there that could harm her.

"This may sound crazy, but I don't just go around signing NDAs. This is actually my first and hopefully last, so you'll never have to worry about me reading terms and conditions ever again," she smiled at me with that fucking adorable smile that makes my heart race from emotions I don't understand.

"I'll have my assistant scan a copy to you so you have one on hand," I informed her as I arrived at the front of her apartment. "Let me walk you up."

"It's okay. Thanks for the ride," she squeezed my arm on the way out of my car and she took her flowery scent with her.

Reaching into the glove compartment, I stared at her signature resting on the dotted line. Her signature was piercing through me and made my skin go cold. She signed it. She signed it so easily like walking out of my life would be easy for her. Perhaps it is. Perhaps all these cluster of emotions I've been feeling are one sided, and she truly believes this baby would do better without me. Fuck, that baby would do better without me. But for some reason, I can't seem to let her walk away.

I shut my eyes as I ripped the signed papers to shreds.