Klepto POV

It's absolutely freezing cold, and my thick coat only somewhat helps to protect me against the winds and the snow that late November has in store for me.

I don't exactly know how far away I'm from the border of my pack, but it's not close by any means. The idiots who took me out here went a long ways before finally dumping me.

I'm sure they were told to make sure I was a long distance from the Green Pack before they returned, and that is exactly what they did. They carried me for more than an hour before plopping me into the snow.

As soon as my feet hit the ground, I noticed that I was shoeless. The cold, white snow attacked my naked feet. I thought back to when I crashed in my bedroom, taking off my trusty converses without a single care in the world. I would come to regret that simple moment.

What I wouldn't do for my shoes right now.

Since I have no shoes, I scurry out of my clothes and shift into my other body and stay that way.

Being a wolf for this long is strange, but I can't say I don't like it. It's freeing.

The first night I spend in that same place that I was left, not really knowing what I should do, so I lay under the stars and let myself feel nothing but the wet snow melting beneath me. I'm a rogue now. It's time to accept it.

At thIs point I am still processing that.

Rogue.

Even the word makes me shiver.

When the sun rises the next morning, I busy myself with simple things to keep my mind occupied, the rational side of me deciding survival is a priority rather than sulking. I quickly search out a river, knowing I need fresh water near wherever I settle, even if it's just for a short time.

After that, I go about finding a nice shelter to sleep in, which takes me a while. I'm searching high and low before I stumble upon a den already dug out under a large oak tree.

My luck has to be turning around, because this discovery is absolutely heaven sent.

I silently thank the Moon Goddess and whatever animal made this shelter, it's saved me a lot of trouble. There is no way I can dig a home for myself this time of year, the ground is completely frozen solid under the mounds of white fluff.

Then I go around collecting whatever foliage I can, which isn't a lot considering the season, and I use all of it as bedding.

I pack it down on the floor of the den, making sure to have as much as possible to keep me warm.

Once that's done, I hunt for my dinner, which happens to be a very tasty squirrel, though it's also small and I know my stomach will be growling later on.

As the sun sets on that second day alone, I have nothing to distract me from my stupid, idiot brain. My brain wants me to feel pain, wants to remind me that my life absolutely sucks.

So, I go on a walk.

My paws carry me through the dense parts of the woods, my head swiveling this way and that. I try to enjoy this excursion as if it's a chosen activity even when I know deep down that this has been forced on me.

I can't believe Ezra did that. Oh wait, yeah I can.

He kinda sucks.

Every time I thought he was a better guy than I thought, the lycan would prove my first assumption right again, doing something destructive.

Man, I wish the Moon Goddess would let me have a second mate. I know that's impossible, you only get one mate after all, but it's a nice thought. Then he could beat Ezra up, I laugh at the thought.

That night I lay in my new home, curled up in a tight ball, my tail wrapped around my body for warmth. I think a great deal about my life in that moment.

I think about my little brothers, Daniel and Felix, I will miss them more than anything on this planet. Their smiling faces, their little laughs. They're filled with so much innocence and unabashed kindness, it's refreshing.

I wonder numbly if I will ever get to see them again, then immediately shove the thought away as it brings fresh tears to my eyes, and I'm going to cry because I hate it.

Then my Dad pops into my mind, and I remembered what he told me.

"Believe it or not, I couldn't stand the thought of you being a rogue. Out there all alone."

I wonder what my Dad will think when he finds out what happened to me. I know he'll be sad, but will he cry? Will my mother give him hell for it?

And then there's my mother, I can just see her and my sisters throwing a party when they hear the news.

Aunt Emilia crosses my mind once or twice, but I know there is no way she'll find out about my awful fate. My crazy aunt doesn't have a phone, computer, or an address, and even if she did my mother wouldn't reach out.

But I think Aunt Emilia would be proud of how I'm handling it. She makes a great rogue, and I'm sure I'll make one too.

As I fall asleep I remember my mate. My dumb ass, heartless, pathetic mate. The mate that I should despise but can't. I hate him so badly, but everything in me wants him. So do I really hate him? Maybe I do, maybe I don't.

It's not like it matters anymore.

But why can't I just forget about that jerk? Why am I destined to remember him forever? It's torture I tell you, absolute torture.

Maybe it's impossible, but I was definitely going to try.

The next morning, I start searching. Searching for one person who I think might be able to help me.

The rogue girl.

I picture her scent, her shaved head and slim figure. The kindness she showed me when no one else did is a shining light I have to hold onto.

Maybe if I find her, will she still let me join her? It is worth a shot, isn't it?

So I go about looking for her, searching the woods thoroughly with my sense of smell. The snow makes it difficult, as it dims most scents, but I hope to at least pick up a little something.

I am out for hours, stopping every now and then to chew the clumps of snow out of my paws. All the time spent in the cold is getting to me. My tail hangs low, brushing the ground as it trails behind me.

The confidence I had before is disappearing as I run out of steam to keep going.

It isn't until my legs buckled underneath me that I take a rest, but inside I'm completely restless, ready to find the rogue that offered me a helping hand.

Frustrated, tired, and lonely, I let out a sorrowful howl into the chill air, hoping it will let her know where I am somehow.

For all I know, she could be gone.

Regret bubbles up, and I want to scream. I'm such an imbecile, I should've just taken her advice and run without looking back when I had the chance.

If I'd known I would be kicked out of the pack anyway, I would've left sooner.

Unfortunately, I can't see into the future, but that would be super cool.

Eventually, I land right where I began the day. Curled up in my little home, alone with my thoughts once more, which is dangerous.

My brain seems like my biggest enemy right now.

I have come upon a decision to wait it out for a week or two to see if I run into the rogue girl I'd met, and if she didn't show I'll travel to the nearest human town.

Get a job, an apartment, maybe even a human boyfriend.

It sounds like a fantasy when I think about it now.

I can't help but feel a little proud of myself. I didn't do bad today, I feel independent and strong looking back at how I'm handling all of this.

It still stings like a mother trucker, but I know time will heal this wound as it always does.

I just hope and pray it happens sooner rather than later.

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If you're reading this, I love you:)

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