I rapped on the door in a quick successive motion, half expecting it to swing right open.

But a minute passes and we're still standing on the welcome mat.

Turning to Demilade, I shielded by eyes from the full fury of the sun at 1pm. "Did you inform Victoria of us coming."

He a raises a finger in the air, continuing to tap at his phone.

The sound of dialing reaches my ears and I watch him make a call to Vic.

Mid-hang up I hear unlatching of a lock and a tired woman greets us at the front door.

"Good afternoon ma." I say, bobbing my head slightly at Mrs Nwaike, Victoria's mother.

It was a surprise to see the workaholic mother here on a weekday afternoon, but I chided myself knowing any mother would have done the same after Victoria's admission.

Her tired smile does nothing to soften the vacant corners under her eyes, or how weary her shoulders looked sagged down in defeat.

Demilade greets her too and she shows us to the living room where we take seats side by side.

Pushing my knee away from where it had been touching Demilade I look back at the woman, hoping she would fill the awkward silence.

"Victoria is sleeping right now," she says rubbing a wet palm against her rumpled kaftan.

I rush over my words without noticing she hadn't finished speaking. " Oh, sorry ma, maybe we'll come back another time."

Her wave of dismissal stills my tongue and I push my butt further into the seat I had been preparing to rise from.

"No no, don't worry about it. She asked me to wake her up around twelve, I got carried away in the kitchen..." she says looking between us as she tries to fix a small smile once again, the Nwaikes had a thing for appearing stronger than they really were. " She'll be happy to see you two, hold on please." Mrs Swaike says, slippers flopping on the floor as she goes to wake Victoria.

"This is awkward." I whisper to Demilade, scoping the living room I had seen thousand times before.

The newcomer however just lounged on the sofa, taking up two thirds of the spaces with his diagonal seating postion. "Meeting people's parents is always awkward. Not that this should be your first time anyways."

I nod, swallowing saliva in absence of the ready words I always had sitting on my tongue.

In all honesty the awkwardness hadn't bothered me in the slightest, but sitting in a dim room with nothing to say to Demilade made me more uncomfortable.

Eyeing the closed curtains, and inspite of the artificial lighting I take the liberty of allowing some natural rays intermingle with those already present in the room.

Demilade only eyes me from the corner of his eyes, his expression befuddled at my jittery state this high noon.

"Hallelujah." I mutter, glad Mrs Nwaike is back to the room by the time I'm making my way back to my seat.

"Oh thank you, I forget sometimes since I barely watch tv in here anymore." she says leaving once again. But she pokes her head back in as an after thought. "Victoria will be down soon, have fun."

I smile, a strange sadness occupying my chest. Though incredibly absent over the last few years, whenever she was around she had been a source of sunshine to me and Victoria.

No one could excuse her of the neglect and I had no doubt of her imperfections, but she was one of the few people like Demilade that gave me a reason to believe in goodness from above.

Even knowing I had partaken in reckless activities with her daughter hadn't changed her dispostion towards me, and it stung to taste more unconditional love and acceptance from the woman than my own mother.

"Yo, are you okay?" a voice says, nudging me back to reality.

I sniff looking at Demilade, hoping the sun wouldn't illuminate my dampening orbs. "Yeah, just hay fever." I joke and he looks at me quizzically.

"It's a tiktok thing." I add, watching as he nods slowly but I could tell he found the whole thing odd.

"Hi guys." a small voice says as I watch Vic emerge from behind the aged white door, the carving still possessing a regal air despite the peeling dye.

"Vickster!" Demilade says flipping his palm to her so she could slap it in an affectionate psuedo high fave.

"How are you doing?" I ask, cringing at the words immediately it left my mouth.

Surprisingly she has a look of calm, even if happiness wasn't quite present there.

Smacking Demilade's hand, she flops on the couch opposite us. "I've seen worse days."

"I'm really sorry again." I say for lack of better words, to this she raises a brow.

"No need, you didn't do anything to me." she says shrugging.

"Speaking of, has the police arrested that man." Demilade says, repulse coating his last word.

"Currently the rape kit results are being frozen, but we've been playing along with him so he has no idea the jig is up. Right now I'm just happy to see my mom more than a few chanced occasions at night." Victoria says, her vulnerability shocking me more than her perpetual bluntness.

As awful as the night had been it seemed like the morning had brought hope to the Nwaike household.

I try not to feel so sour that I was still plunged in a darkness of my own making, while I answered Victoria. "That's good, I was starting to get worried she wouldn't show for graduation." I say, and for a brief moment her eyes light up with excitement.

"Have you guys gotten your cap and gowns yet."

"Nah, I'm going Friday for it, Mr Winjobi has been bugging my parents all week." Demilade says, and my ears perk up at the mention of his guardians.

Truth be told they were ghosts in my mind, and it chilled me at the prospect of being introduced to them on our graduation.

Not that it would be anything more than a friendly meeting, but the idea still set my nerves on edge.

"My mom got it as soon as it landed at school, I'm all set." I say remembering how my mom had come home two weeks ago from the uniform office where Mr Winjobi stayed, dangling the sapphire fabric encrusted with gold along the crisp edges.

"I can't wait to finally have that certificate so I can move on with my life." Victoria says, her groan mirroring the anticipation budding in all of us.

"After we should celebrate." Demilade says, forgetting the trigger it was to Victoria.

"I think I've had enough parties to last a lifetime. Besides therapy starts the next morning. " she says, without any hesitation

I nod in agreement, looking at Demilade who stared at us like we had grown two heads.

"You guys don't know me at all o. Unless celebratory ice cream is not your thing then sure." he says casually.

"Send me pictures if y'all go, my social battery is dead." Vic says, euphemising the battles she still fought.

"Same." I mutter, not knowing how I was going to get through the whole day with my brooding parents, putting up a front with my favourite humans was already hard enough.

"Aw that's okay, maybe some other time" Demilade says, flopping his head against the cushioned head rest like he had no problems in this world.

Something inside me snaps as the weight of envy crushes against my soul. "I need water I'll be back."

Glad the sound of worship music came from up the stairs I enter the kitchen knowing Mrs Nwaike wouldn't be there.

Opening the fridge I stand there for longer than necessary, absorbing the icy kisses from the freon against my cheeks.

"How long are you going to keep pretending?"

I jump, the fridge door slamming with a loud thud.

He sucks in his bottom lip, touching the exact place where my hand had been as he grabs himself a bottle of water.

"Stop sneaking up on me." I chide and he pops the plastic cap open.

"Sorry bad habit." Demilade says.

I roll my eyes, waiting for him. As much as I dreaded being interrogated his pressence was intoxicating -and hard to get rid of.

"I'm not pretending." I say taking a swig myself.

"Look I know us kissing was a big mistake but I still care about you, and I know when something is up, do you want to talk about it?" Demi says, averting his gaze in the first third.

"You call that a mistake?" I ask, remembering clearly how he looked so sure in the moment.

"It takes two so don't just put the blame on me. But I'm sorry if I caused any trouble for you and that Isren guy.

"I broke up with him." I say.

Something fiery lights in his eyes, before it vanishes and the same warm stillness is seen again. "I thought you really liked him."

"Turns out he sucked, but I don't want to talk about it." I say, letting the words hit the floor as silence ensues.

"Is he the reason why you're like this?" Demilade asks, looking like a baby first taking a look at the world -fragile and susceptible to every hurt possible.

"Among many others."

He laughs, sounding more nervous than tickled. "Hope I'm not one of them."

"You're about to be if you don't let this interrogation go." I say, my eyes holding the venom lacking in my tone.

To this Demilade sighs and nods his head.

A taut smile touches my lips, but drops as I see him make to leave. Sure he was annoying, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings.

"Yo are we good?" I ask before he can twist the knob.

"Any reason why we shouldn't be?" he asks casually.

I hesitate, thinking over my responses. "No." I finally say, and he shrugs.

"Exactly, I'll leave you to it." Demilade says, shutting the door after himself.

The kitchen is quiet again, but instead of a comforting silence eerieness had taken over from Demilade soothing voice.

Taking another gulp, I swallow the sadness and questions so I can have a numb surface to place my smile.

A scary new normal.