"Yes?" I ask, anxious to hear more.

The woman glares at my cutting her off before continuing.

"The test results came back and she is okay. No poison was found in her system other than alcohol and nothing adverse was discovered during the preliminary checkup. The nurses are tending some minor wounds, but otherwise she'll be ready to go in an hour's time."

I nod slowly, the relief in me half filled.

"Can we go see her?" Demilade asks, eyes trailing down the hallway the doctor had come from.

The doctor gives a small smile but shakes her head. "Yes, but I'm going to have to request the bill is settled at the reception."

"That won't be a problem I already paid when we arrived." Isren says and I turn my eyes to him.

Calling Vic's mom at 11pm in the hospital, still dressed like hookers would have been a big mess.

"Well then, I have to see another patient now, I'm sorry for all your friend went through."

Pushing aside my feeling stupid for a moment a manage the words I needed to say. "Thank you so much Isren."

I say, holding back the tears who had showed up at the wrongest time.

He only shrugs and smiles. "It's no big deal really."

I nod and begin to walk ahead when I realise Demilade was waiting so we could all go together.

Instead Isren lingers before calling me back.

"You go ahead, I'll meet up soon." I say and Demilade nods, giving one final glance at Isren before leaving.

"So tonight was a let down?" he says when I'm close enough for his words to reach only my ears.

"A let down?" I repeat, hoping I had heard wrong the first night.

He sighs and puts a hand in his pocket. "Not like that. I mean things didn't go as planned."

"Agreed." I mutter.

"Are you free Saturday?"

I my eyelids flutter and I take a step back. "Yeah why do you ask?"

Though he rolls his eyes I can't help but feel there was more to tge play gesture. "Incase you want to come over. It's the only I day I'm not surrounded by family or associates."

I force a smile inspite of the sinking feeling inside.

Now that I wasn't sucking on his face, my second thoughts had resurfaced, this time twice as strong.

Doing reckless things had been fun, but only tonight had I questioned just how pointless it all was.

"I'll think about it." is all I say.

He says nothing for a moment before using a smile to set me at ease. "Alright, you two need a ride?"

"Nah, the hotel isn't far from here and Demilade came with a car. Thanks for everything though." I say quickly.

With his left leg he closes the distancebetween us and looks down into my eyes, my heart rate picks up its pace but I stay put to appear unaffected.

"Call you then?" he says his voice sending shivers down my spine.

"Sure." I say, and I close my eyes when he leaves a kiss closer to my ear than my cheek.

"Talk soon Mi." he says and I step back as I watch him exit the building.

Something about his effect on me, made me afraid to do what I would surely regret.

Slowly I retrace my steps and head in the direction of Victoria's room.

......................

Inside she's smiling at something Demilade said, but from the looks of it even that was a lot of energy for her.

Nothing about the room is more welcoming than the next.

In signature hospital style the walls were white, bed even planer, a simple china walllock hovered over the door, and the air smelled like antiseptic and omo detergent.

"Hi Vickster." I say try my best to be calming.

If ever she would be ready to open up, I wanted to be a welcome doormat for that day.

Demilade pats the seat next to him but I shake my head, I wanted to be by her side.

Even then I tried to respect her privacy and sad at the corner most edge of her bed.

At this she shakes her head.

"Why are you guys treating me like I'm some egg."

None of us know what to say and she continues.

"Y'all are too sensitive it's just sex." she says, staring at the ceiling.

"No it's not." Demilade says, his tone softer than a pillow.

"He's right. None of it was consensual." I chip in.

"What difference does a few wandering hands make. My body count is already astronomical." she says, her head shaking againsts the bed rest.

"So tonight really wasn't the first time?" I say, letting my words hang in the air.

I hated to ask, but justice was more important than any misconceived fear of her lashing out at me or Demilade hearing what he shouldn't.

Vic had welcomed him anyways, I was the one that kept him out of the loop though he had proven to be more than an outsider.

Nothing happens for a while, till I notice the first movement.

Her shoulders tremble till they start shaking more violently, and her head droops down to reveal cherrylined eyes and tears gushing down her face.

As she opens her mouth to speak all that comes out is the sob she had swallowed and the little shards left of my heart break.

I reach for her head, but hold onto the bedsheet when her words start to form. "I wanted so bad to act like it didn't matter, like sex was just that. But Uncle Tola broke me, it was more than just my v-virginity, everything was emptier after that. Everytime he said he was here to see my mother, she wouldn't be around and he would force me."

All the months of missing clues since last summer fit like a jigsaw puzzle in that moment.

My friend had been drowning but I was too consumed in my rebellion to see that every drop of our so called fun had been her special poison.

Instead of the words of comfort I that would break free from my mouth the tears burned behind my eyes and I was sure I could hear an alarm ringing.

"Nothing can fix everything in instant, but if you're comfortable with it would you like us to hug you?" Demilade asks, looking like a broken heart held together by a loose bandage.

To my surprise there was nothing but assurance in her eyes as she looked at Demilade, and in a few seconds she opened her arms a fraction.

Minutes pass and I'm still inhaling the scent of Demilade's hoodie, while listening to soothing sound of Victoria's even breathing.

"We'll handle the checkout, nap some more if you like." is the last thing Demilade says before we leave Vic to surrender to the battle between her eyelids.

...........................

Inside the room Victoria and Fimi are fast asleep on the massive bed, but I'm the opposite.

Right on our balcony, overlooking the blue that was not quite black skies I crouched on the floor, while Demilade sat right next to me.

The floor was coated in dust and it was 3a.m so I knew he was only here to make me feel less alone.

In a few hours my life would be over as I knew it.

Vic would have to tell her mom everything that happened last night along with Uncle Tola's assault, and when my mother knew what her daughter had been up to, the roof would come down.

Such a condemning thought brought sarcastic laughter to my mouth and Demilade looks at me.

"You know you can go home now." I say my habitual defensiveness activated.

He only stares at me and I sigh knowing he deserved better than that. "I mean it's really late and you may want to sleep. But thanks alot for everything."

His expression remains static save for a small smile.

"How are doing." Demi says.

I fight back the chuckle as I give him a side glance, my head settling further into the wall.

"You're asking me at past three in the morning?"

He merely shrugs. "Why not?"

"Well,..." I think of all the answers I could say, but something about the morning had me drained of every excuse in my book. "...I have just realized I am the world's worst best friend because in all my six years of knowing her I couldn't tell something was off when she suddenly switched. I got everything I thought I wanted but now I'm not sure if I still do. And for some reason I care what God would think of me now even though it's quite obvious I'm a hellfire candidate. Don't even bother telling me to give my life to Jesus because I have tried, the altar call, the ten commandments, the scary heaven and hell testimonies any time I want to do something bad, it's so forced and exhausting. But since you asked, thats how I am, a freakin' mess." I say, looking away as I realize I had gone off.

Instead of words of disgust I expected, though I knew he wouldn't say it I feel something warm on my lap.

He gives my open hand a gentle squeeze before countering my words. "No matter how ignorant you were you still made the decision to be there for her today. Even eighteen year olds don't have it together, it's one thing to be wrong about something, and it's another to stay put because it's what you used to want. And honestly... that does sound exhausting."

I do a 180 at his admission and eyes come in direct contact with his. They were clear, dark, and held no lies.

"I thought you're now a christian, shouldn't you be telling me how it's better than perishing."

His brow slowly raises and another smile uncurls on his face. "Offcourse I find it sad you grew up with that, but it sounds like a lot. An imperfect person trying to do all the good stuff so at any moment she won't get kicked into hell. I don't think we have it in us, so yeah it's exhausting."

I nod still fixated on his face. "The life of a christian." I say sardonically and to this he shakes his head.

"I'm no scholar but allow me to say that's false. None of us are holy enough for God. But good news is knowing that, He laid his life down so he could take the penalty of our sin for us. And like the powerful God He is, He rose again so all who trust in Him will have eternal life." he says playfully, grinning like a little kid who had just said the entire alphabet.

I blink at him wondering how he could think Christianity was all so simple. "You're forgetting the part where you also have to obey a ton of rules to make it to heaven."

Again he argues. "Nope. The gift is His alone to give. People just confuse that with sanctifiction, becoming more like Jesus is something the Holy Spirit helps us do, and naturally we'd want to after knowing it was His love and our sin that held him on the cross. But there's no booster to make sure we get into heaven, his sacrifice is enough."

Slowly I smile, if only I had it in me to believe that could be true.

"It seems I'm not the only one who knows their bible." I joke, hoping to dismiss the seriousness of the atmosphere.

"I doubt it. I still have to check the glossary everytime I'm looking for John." I admits, a faint tinge of colour gracing his fairer cheeks.

"Still better off than me any day. You're as perfect as it gets." I say staring, not liking how my last words had come out.

I said it like I meant it. And I did...just not in the ways friends should.

"When will the day come that Oluwalonimi Mariah Adebayo won't see me as the golden boy." he teases, unable to break eye contact himself.

I try to ignore how dangerously close we were now that our heads were opposite eachother as we sat sit by side. "Isn't that what you are? Good looks, good grades, nice guy, Daddy's money."

"Your mind is an like a library, I'm sure you know how beautiful you are, and sometimes I'm jealous of how much you love Victoria. Now you're going to say something sarcastic because you don't do well with mushy or the truth."

I laugh, tripping over the words I could no longer say. "Stop it."

"Why?" he throws back, oblivious of how my heart had been beaiting faster than before, and thoughts becoming harder to push away..

"Because I might..." I say moving closer to his lips by a millimeter. Hoping he didn't notice I quickly reverse my action. "...I might do something stupid."

It isn't until I see the dissapointment pass his eyes that I consider he had an idea of what I felt myself.

"Stupid like what?" he says, and I could've sworn I say him move a little closer.

The seconds had sped up, and suddenly I was searching for an excuse as I fought against what everything in me wanted. "Like..."

But I looking down at his lips, and in that split second I knew I had lost.

My mouth hovers just above his and instead of the confusion or surprise I expected to see he too looked done with the war inside me.

He was slow and deliberate, yet I was so close that it didn't take long for me to taste his lips.

It was gentler than any kiss I ever had, and sweeter than drug could possibly be.

The faint smell of birthday cake hits my nose and I do my best not to deepen the kiss.

Something about this one wasn't like the others. It was like to be carried away with lust.

So I was terrified as the truth stared as right in the face when we pulled away.

"I'm sorry that was a mistake." I say getting up.

He rises and dusts himself off. For a moment he looks like he was about to argue but he says the very words that fill tears in my eyes.

"You're right. I'm sorry for what I did, we shouldn't have."

No words come and after a moment of awkward silence he looks around for any remaining belongings -there were none.

"I guess I'll see you Sunday. Good night." he says looking at the moon instead of me.

"Yeah, drive safe." is all I say before I have to turn around so he doesn't realize it was water and the moonlight making my eyes shine.

The balcony door closes and some seconds later I hear the room door shut.

As the first drop rolled against my cheek the weight of the world came crashing down on me.

There would be no sleep tonight.

I had messed up -big time.