IT'S PUBLISHED!

I'm a fool. I'm a fool for wanting you, hoping that you would want me back. I'm a fool for thinking that you would accept me flaws and all, just like I have done with you. I'm a fool for thinking about you every night , when I know that I never crossed your mind. I'm a fool for wishing that you would be mine, while you're wishing for another. I wish I could change my mind and my feelings towards you, but I can't no matter how I try. So I torture myself hoping that you would see me in the same light that I see you.

My name is Rila Rio Reed and I'm fucked up in the head, well medically fucked up. A little backstory about me, I was born and raised in Atlanta to a family that never had much so we lived a life of struggle. My family consisted of me, my mom and dad. We moved up to Virginia when I was about 10 because my dad got this good paying mechanical job and my mom got a job as a housekeeper for some rich families. That's where I met my bestfriend Kaelyn, my mom brought me with her one day to Kaelyn's house when she was working and from that day we been stuck together like glue.

We hung out everyday and she was like a protector of sorts for me, from kids who used to bully me because of my background and also because of my mental health status. When I was 11 I was diagnosed with ADHD, the doctor's said they think I had it way before 11 but I just never got diagnosed. But I also got diagnosed with Persistent Depressive Disorder at 13 which mixed with my ADHD causes me to feel like shit almost everyday.

I have to take dexamfetamine pills 2 to 4 times a day but mostly 4 times a day for my ADHD and for my depression they have me on Tricyclic antidepressants. Those two mixed together makes me feel like a fucking zombie from the walking dead but yet I keep pushing and put my happy face on like everything is just great until I get home and it unravels.

But enough of that sad shit, I have a cousin who lives up here and we're super close to each other, she's a couple years older than me but she's the closest thing I have to a sister. But yeah that's a synopsis of my shitty life.