《The Life of a Wizard》Welcome to the Room of Infinite Bullshit

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Let it not be said that Jaune Arc was a brave man. In fact, he was a coward. A coward with a righteous heart but a coward nonetheless.

When he was called to Ozpin's office his heart hammered in his chest and he felt that it might burst out at any moment. When he entered the office and was shown his false transcript his blood froze as cold as ice. Was he going to go to jail? Oh god, what if his parents were contacted? This was bad real bad.

However, when Ozpin offered him training instead he was quite surprised. Why wouldn't he be? He, the one who forged his transcripts to enter Beacon, was going to get personal training from the headmaster one on one.

Ozpin was one of the most powerful Huntsman in the world and he was getting a chance to train under him? The moment he accepted training under Ozpin in order to become a hero was when Ozpin's eyes glowed briefly before the whole room turned into a Kaleidoscopic prism of color and then turns into a constant bright iridescent white aurora. Behind him is a central building with two side wings with housing, food supplies, bathing quarters and sleeping quarters with a large clock on the dome roof of the building. There are dual giant hourglasses of emerald sand adorning the sides of the building that count down a year within the chamber.

"Welcome, Jaune Arc, to my personal Hyperbolic Time Chamber."

"The Hyperwha?"

"Or my personal favorite: The Room of Infinite Bullshit."

I let go of my cane, but instead of falling it floats in the air. "This is a Dimension I created to train you Mr. Arc. In this Dimension, while a single year passes here only a day would have passed outside." I grab my cane and tap it on the ground causing a delicious feast to appear. "But first you need to eat. According to a certain someone, hunger is the enemy, so you should not stay hungry if you can help it. You may be called to battle at any moment and you don't need hunger to be one as well." I sit down on the ground and begins to take a huge chunk of the juicy steak and put it on my plate, his mouth watered.

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Without waiting for any prompt, Jaune sits down and begins to take a slice for himself as well. As he bites into the heavenly steak its flavor and juices dissolved into his mouth; it felt like heaven.

His joy was short-lived, however, because the moment he finished his steak, he feels dizzy and collapses with nausea.

"You know, you should always check your food for poison. You don't know when an enemy will strike. Your food in a restaurant may be poisoned, so always be sure to check your food for poison as well as any utensils you are going to use or else you are going to die very soon as a real Huntsman."

I could only clutch my stomach and groan in agony. "That's... bullshit."

I let out a chuckle. "Welcome to the World of Remnant, Jaune Arc."

For the rest of the days, Jaune trains both physically and mentally. If 200 Sit-ups, 200 squats and running till he drop from exhaustion on his first day wasn't enough, he also had to use weights attached to his legs and hands. They looked light at a glance, but as he did different types of exercises like climbing ropes, swimming and digging with his bare hands and the exercises just got more ridiculous from there.

For the first month, Ozpin would increase the weight every day and to be honest if Jaune didn't have the aura to heal himself after each training exercise he wouldn't be able to keep this up. At the end of the day, he barely had enough energy to check his food and utensils for poison before eating and going to bed. The moment Jaune hit the bed he fell asleep due to exhaustion. At least he had a blissful sleep and delicious food to look forward to.

Saturdays and Sundays were resting days. The only things I taught him during those days were meditation and how to control his aura, having Ozpin/Ozma's memories really helped a lot. I also taught him some fancy new aura techniques. The coolest one allows him to fire a beam of Aura from Crocea Mors. Damn, it looked so cool and it dealt a huge amount of damage as well, but it required a minimum of 10 seconds to charge.

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I also brought him a PS4 and games from my personal collection. See, I was experimenting with my magic one day and suddenly a PS4 appeared in front of me with a couple of games.

We played Need for Speed, Mortal Kombat 11, Street Fighter 5, Ultimate Ninja Storm 3 as well as single-player games like GTA 5, and Final Fantasy 15. I utterly crushed Jaune in Ultimate ninja storm 3 btw. He likes to spam Jutsus like there's no tomorrow and it just got easier to predict as time passes. Then Jaune started playing GTA 5 and he was enjoying it. Never have I seen a man so into stealing planes and then crashing said planes into city blocks.

It makes you wonder if Jaune doesn't have any suppressed urges...

Before we knew it, 3 months have already passed and I decided stop his weight training. To be honest, I don't remember how much these things actually weight; I kind of forgot how much weight I put in these things after the fourth day. On the bright side, Jaune can now easily jump several hundred meters into the air and even match Ruby's speed at this point, so progress is progress.

But we are far from being done.

For the next three months, Jaune and I would spar together. Needless to say, Jaune had his face planted into the ground several times. And after another three months, the training was over.

"I do hope you realize that my services are not for free, Mr. Arc. I will require some compensation." I said.

Jaune wasn't surprised at my statement, he already knew that my help wasn't gonna come without a cost. I tap my cane and a receipt magically appears beside me and it slowly floats towards Jaune.

When Jaune saw the price, I could see the visible shock on his face. "Is... is this for real!?"

A smug grin appears on my face.

Apparently, magic was real and Ozpin was a wizard which kind of fits considering what they've done for the past year. Then came the more crazy stuff. The Grimm having a leader named Salem and that he has been reincarnating over and over again for thousands of years. It does explain why he's so eccentric at times. Oh, and the Maidens were real.

"Why me?" Jaune asked. "Why choose me? I'm not special."

"Haven't you seen anime Mr. Arc? The weakest character is always the one who turns out to be the strongest." I explained.

Anime logic, baby.

"By the way, you may want to read the bottom of the receipt." I told him. The moment he did, his face turned into a shade of deep crimson.

"WAIT, YOU WANT ME TO ASK RUBY OUT ON A DATE!?" His arms are flailing around.

"Yes, Jaune, I want you to go on a date with Ms. Rose."

"Why?"

"Because I bet 1500 Lien that Lancaster would sail."

"What?"

"Nothing Jaune... but do give Ms. Rose a chance. She does like you after all." I said. "And Pyrrha, and Velvet, maybe Blake and Yang. I think Weiss likes you too but she has this tsundere thing going on so she can't be honest about it."

I think I broke him...

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Author Notes

Welp, enjoy.

Peace~

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