After what felt like forever, I pulled myself up off the floor and got changed quickly, before taking my hair out of the bun and curling it. I applied my make-up before taking my cold cup of tea into the kitchen.

“You not drink it then?” I heard Dan mumble, didn’t see him sat at the breakfast bar.

“It went cold.” I reply opening the fridge door and pouring myself a glass of orange juice.

I pulled out my phone and sighed as I stared at my back ground. It was still the same one from when me and Dan had our romantic weekend away in Manchester. Gazing into each others eyes with love struck teenage grins plastered to our faces. I missed those days....they weren’t even that long ago.

I shook my head and those thoughts away before opening a new message to Katy.

[ you fancy lunch? Xxx]

“Where are Evie and Luke?” I ask

“Gone to sort out last minute wedding details.”

“Okay.”

*buzz buzz*

[Hell yes im starving, Nandos? Katy xxx]

[I’m feeling somewhere different for a change :L meet up in town at half 1? Xxx]

That gave me just over an hour to get myself ready properly and get into town, finding a parking space as well. Not really the easiest thing to find in London.

*buzz buzz*

[Plan , meet you outside Starbucks. Katy xxx]

“Who you texting?” Dan asked

“No one.” I reply placing my phone back into my bag and drinking my drink before walking out the kitchen.

“You can’t ignore me forever.” Dan shouted at me from the kitchen

“I’m not, I just can’t forgive you. Don’t you get that?”

“I’m sorry.” He sighed

“I know you are...but that doesn’t change what happened and what you did.”

I headed for the door but got spun around by Dan.

“I didn’t do anything.”

“That’s a matter of opinion.”

“I didn’t do anything, I never said anything.”

“That’s my point…YOU SAID NOTHING.” I say angrily at him “Eugh whatever Dan, you just keep thinking you didn’t do nothing...said nothing. Just run along to your girlfriend.”

“I would if she’d let me.” He whispers, his face so close to mine as I back up against the wall

“I’m not your girlfriend.’”

“You will always be more to me than that.”

“Stop playing the sympathy card to me Dan, it’s not working...we’re not together.” I snap pushing him away from me.

“I gave you that promise ring for a reason and I’m not giving up now. Not when it took me so long to finally get you.”

“I don’t want your stupid promise ring.” I shout at him pulling it off my finger. “You didn’t mean anything you ever said to me.” I shout, tears pouring down my cheeks. I was about to throw it at him when I felt his fingers link through mine and his lips crush against mine.

I was pushed up against the wall.

No where to go.

I couldnt resist him.

My top came off over my head seconds later followed by his. Dan’s lips were attacking my neck as I fiddled with my jeans pulling them off. Our breathing becoming heavier and heavier, the lower his lips got. Dan pulled down his joggers, stepping out of them as stepped out of my jeans. His lips crushed against mine once again, the passion between us was unreal. I wasn’t sure if it was my need to be comforted by him or the fact that I was completely and madly in love with him. All I knew was at this moment; I had never wanted him so badly in all time we’d been together.

As I began kissing down his neck I felt his hands lifting my legs up, lifting me so I was wrapped around his waist. He hurried up the stairs but dropping me at the top. I burst out laughing as he climbed on top of me, his smile melting me completely before kissing me passionately. I pulled off my socks dropping them onto the stairs before Dan pulled me up, pulling me into my bedroom. Dan unclipped my bra more quickly than he ever had before, throwing it across the room as we bashed into my wardrobe, causing a couple of my stuffed teddies to fall on us. As we fiddled with our underwear we fell into my dressing table, knocking hairspray and straightners amongst other items onto the floor. Our fury turned into heated passion as I felt him push himself into me.

“Ahhh Dan.” I moaned

“Baby yes.”

***

After we were finished Dan pulled me into him, my head resting on his rather sweaty chest as he ran his fingers through my hair like he used to.

We never said anything to one another, we just fell asleep in each others arms.

*Dan POV*

I was lay under her quilt, remembering what had just happened between us. Hoping it was the beginning of us sorting ‘us’ out. Not how I expected us to get back on track but our relationship has never been ‘normal’ as they say.

I opened my eyes, expecting to see her lay next to me...but she wasn’t. My eyes flittered to her en-suit, hoping she was in there, but it was silent. My head fell back onto her pillow as I felt sadness wash over me. She was gone. I got out of bed finding my boxers, before something on her bedside table caught my eye. I walked over and my heart shattered into a million pieces.

I picked up the note...along with her promise ring I’d given her.

‘Dan I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye but it would have been too awkward considering what had just happened. I don’t regret it because I can’t say I regret any of my time with you as it’s the happiest I’ve been in my life. But right now, I can’t do ‘us’. I can’t think ‘us’. You hurt me so much, I never thought it was possible to feel this much pain from your best friend. I just need some time alone. Please respect that.

I’ve gone out for the rest of the day, probably tonight as well. See you around. Well I’m guessing I will seeing as we still live together. Love Liv xxx’

I walked out of her room and downstairs collecting the pile of clothes Liv had placed on the side unit before going back to my room. I chucked them onto the floor before climbing under my quilt with her nightshirt of mine that was still in here and her promise ring. That’s when my tears began to fall.

What had I done?

*Liv’s POV*

My eyelids flickered open, my head resting in its normal place...Dan’s chest. I removed his arms from around me, grabbing my underwear off the floor, quietly putting it on. I stood and watched him for a couple of seconds, my heart aching. My heart wanted to forgive him but there was something in my head that couldn’t.

I quietly cleaned up my room before picking my clothes up from the stairs and on the floor. How did this happen? I put Dan’s clothes into a pile and walked back upstairs, I cleaned myself up, feeling rather sore down south and dressing quickly. I had to go meet Katy.

I wondered if it was okay to have sex soon after what had happened? Too late to think about that now I guess…

Dan was still fast asleep, looking adorable as ever. I know I should wake him up and tell him I’m going but I couldn’t. We’d only argued since I’d come out of hospital, well that and had sex. I wanted to curl up next to him so badly and tell him about our baby that we lost...but it was his fault it was gone. I couldnt tell him yet, I was still so mad at him…I needed some space.

I took off my promise ring and placed it on my bedside table before writing my note to him. I blew him a kiss before walking out my room and out the house to meet Katy. Luckily I managed to find a car park space rather speedily before walking quickly to Starbucks.

“What’s taken you so long woman, I almost left?” Katy laughed hugging me. I glanced at my watch ten past two.

“Shit sorry ...I’ve got a lot to fill you in on.” I sigh sitting down.

“Come on, we’ll go get some food and you can tell me all about it.” She smiled pulling me up and out of the shop

We end up in Frankie and Benny’s as I couldn’t decide on where I wanted to go; all I knew is that I didn’t want a Nandos.

“So , what’s happened?” Katy asks taking a sip of her drink.

I fill her in on everything that happened after I came out of hospital, leaving out the part where I lost my baby. I didn’t want anyone’s sympathy, I just needed to deal with it on my own.

“Aww , you sure you can’t just forgive him. I know he’s hurt you but he seems genuinely sorry about it.”

I sigh deaply shaking my head slowly. “I can’t Kate, but before I came out...the reason I was late...”

“What happened?”

“We slept together.” I mumble pushing my food around my plate

“Shut up...really? Why? How?”

“Well we were arguing and I was about to throw my promise ring at him and it was all heated. He just kissed me with all this passion, I duno...I just melted into him.’

“Just proves that you love him still.”

“Of course i love him, I’ll always love him”

“So why can’t you forgive him?”

“Because…because of him I lost my baby” I snap at her, a couple of heads turned in our direction but my eyes never left hers.

I could feel my tears already falling down my cheeks but I watched as her crystal clear blue eyes filled with tears instantly and then continued to fall down her flushed pink cheeks.

“In the fall?” she whispered and I nodded my head

“Oh .” She cried, shimming round the booth and pulling me into a hug, stroking my hair as I cried into her shoulder.

She never moved me, she just let me cry onto her shoulder for as long as I needed. I lifted my head from her shoulder and looked into her eyes, wiping my tears from my cheeks.

“I didn’t know I was pregnant...the nurse told me after I woke up that I had lost it in the fall.”

“oh , I’m so sorry.”

I shrug my shoulders at her before continuing “She told me I was about seven weeks gone, so it wasn’t much and with me being so distracted with all this Amy drama I never noticed my period was late.”

“I swear im going to kill Amy.” Katy angrily says to me

“Don’t...because I swear if I ever see her again...I’m going to kill her. She made me lose my baby.”

“So why can’t you forgive Dan? He didn’t push you.”

“I know that...but he never believed me...he never chose me over her. I was leaving him when Amy pushed me, if he had just trusted me...believed me...then this wouldn’t have happened.” I whisper, tears streaking my cheeks

“Everything happens for a reason but , this isn’t Dan’s fault. Does he know?”

I shook my head “No...I can’t tell him either.” I sigh wiping my tears again

“Why not?”

“Because...” I begin but get interrupted

“Is there anything else i can get you ladies?” the waiter asks us

“Bottle of wine please mate.” Katy smiles and I nod

“White, red or rose.” He smiles

“Rose.” We say together and he nods before walking off

“Sorry you were saying?” Katy smiles taking hold of my hands

“Erm...I duno.” I sigh

“....tell me. Why can’t you tell him?”

“Kate I know that him knowing about Amy not being pregnant is great and what I wanted. But he’s gutted about not having a baby on the way...he was really excited about becoming a dad. How can I tell him he’s not only lost his fake kid...but his own as well?”

“Aww Liv.” She whispered pulling me into her again, “I know , I completely understand. But listen to me yea...” she saying holding onto my face with her hands. “You’ll regret not telling him. You need to work through this together. It’s a horrible...terrible loss to go through on your own. You need him and he’s going to need you.”

I just nod my head at her...knowing she was right.

“Here’s your bottle of wine ladies...enjoy.” The waiter smiles placing the bottle down with two glasses before walking away.

“‘I need this.” I sigh pouring myself a huge glass and downing it as Katy fills up her glass.

“Whoa slow down, okay.” Katy laughs as I empty my glass.

“Fill me up again please.” I reply looking at her. At the moment I just wanted to block out all and any pain I was feeling and the way to do that was alcohol...and lots of it.