"I'm sorry about the article, I was truly confused and I acted childish for apparently no reason, I .. I'm sorry "

"I'm sorry for losing my temper "

Silence...

Silence has filled the scene after, we were sitting at my now usual spot in the station, the same table at the same corner showing the same view of the same streets outside ..the only difference being the people coming and going...

"Do you miss him? "

I looked up from the tea I was stirring for a while now, to Edwin who has managed to speak and break the quiet that engulfed us "who?" I asked

"your ex-husband's child "

", his name is Louis and he is my child .. I raised him...yeah, I do miss him" I gave him a small and tight smile not really knowing what to say now, but his expressions, on the other hand, were kind of sore "what's wrong Ed?"

"nothing" he forced a smile then looked away diverting his attention somewhere else

"Ed?" I called his name hoping I would get his attention back on me "what is it? "

"noth-"

"I will never inquire about it again if you don't tell me now "

he sighs before he chose to let it out "it feels like you're getting further away...again"

"What makes you think that way? "

" the more I see you, the more different you are than before, you are a totally different person now, Amanda "

"does that make you uncomfortable?"

"Yeah, it's funny but, it feels like I'm cheating on you...the old you " he gave a faint smile then diverted his attention to his cup

"What did you expect Edwin? years have passed and we changed, our lives changed... I am a divorced woman, and a mother, a woman with career and responsibilities towards her family .. I'm not the old carefree teenager you've known"

"I know that " he sighs looking back at me "I know but it's just a weird feeling I get .."

"I'm fine with whatever you do Edwin" I interrupted him

"what?"

"if you want some time, or you don't want to meet me again .. I'm fine with it "

He cocked an eyebrow at me "you're fine with it?" there was slight anger evident in his tone

"calm down for a second and don't misunderstand .. I meant if you found out that this is not what your heart wants, and ..you know, maybe you fell for a woman with my old traits and personality ..and here I am making you feel uncomfortable and confused, along with some pressure from your father ...you just ..you don't need to do any of this, Edwin... you can end this anytime ..no one is holding you back "

"!"

"do you truly want to start? am I good enough to be someone of meaning to you?"

"what are you talking about? yes you are, are you kidding me? I've waited for years, Amanda!!"

"? ?! waiting for something doesn't mean that it's the right choice to take Edwin! "

"what if it's not the right choice? SO WHAT?!... we still need to give it a chance"

I was watching tv in the living room when Aiden came in and sat beside me "did you quarrel with Edwin? "

"Apparently someone is psychic" I replied in full sarcasm and disinterest

"you just came back from meeting him with a dull face " he replied with a duh

I looked back to the movie running on tv refusing to answer this fella cause I was absolutely not in the mood

"what is it about? "

I didn't answer him at first but he kept nudging my shoulder with his and pocking my arm with his long finger, possibly bruising me in the process

"!"

"you should have answered the moment I asked, I wouldn't have annoyed you then"

A deep intake of breath followed by a loud exhale before I answered his curious mind "he said that I was different "

"no ish Sherlock "

"RIGHT ?!" I turned and faced him fully "I mean it's been years and people change, even he changed, I didn't say anything about that! but he was all sensitive when it came to me changing! like it was some sort of crime or sin!"

", . no need to get all worked up. "

"I just, I get the feeling that he's pushing the blame on me and end it before it even starts ..it's not like we HAVE to start something, not like I wanted to start anything with him "

"WAIT! HOLD ON! ...you didn't want to start anything? "

"no, I was just happy to have a childhood friend beside me..it felt like I was back in time"

"what about all that flirting and gazing? "

"what flirting and what gazing? "

"you know what I mean "

"he was the one to do so not me .."

"really? "

"yeah .. I'm also trying Aiden, I want to love him the same way I used to before, but feels like the love I had to him is gone with his old self, probably the same as his case now... Still I tried, I truly tried Aiden, I tried to convince myself that this is right and this is what is meant to happen and all I have to do is accept it with welcoming arms! "

"you don't need to push yourself to love somebody, you two missed the timing and you probably just can't go back"

"that's what I thought...Do you really think so too or are you just trying to comfort me? "

"even though I would've loved it if he was my brother in law, but you're more important to me "

"Thanks, kiddo" I ruffled his hair to which his lips made a thin line when he pressed them tightly together

"I take it back I hate you" he glared

"HEY!"

"Mommy!"

I was welcomed by his voice the moment I answered my phone "Hey baby, how are you today ?" I asked him, laying on my bed to find the comfort and the warmth of my mattress and covers

"I miss you but dad said that he will send me to your house on the weekend "

"really?" I rose abruptly not believing what I heard...Henry ?! "that's..that's great! What do you want to eat then? I'll make it for you "

"pasta "

"Okay, anything else? "

"I want to have some of granny's food more "

"ow, really? you don't like my cooking anymore? "

"...a little " he whispered and that made me chuckle and throw myself back to lay fully on the bed

"okay "

"you're not mad at me? "

"why would I be? that just means less cooking for me and more time to rest"

"Good then. mommy do you need me to bring you anything? "

"no, I just need you to come here as fast as possible "

He chuckled as a response to what I said and that was enough to flush all my worries and problems away, I turned to my side and noticed the time on my old digital clock at my bedside "it's time to go to sleep Louis, go brush your teeth and go to sleep okay? "

"Okay, night mom"

"night honey "

"here you go dad" I heard before the phone call was cut

!...Henry was there