"Good morning" I got into the studio, and walked straight to my assigned spot for the show.

"Good morning!" she came in with a wide smile that some appreciated and some did not, yet that didn't seem to faze her much "Amanda parks, right?" Madeline smiled at me, handing me a water bottle before she took the seat beside mine "Have some, it will calm your nerves down.. Let me tell you, it's okay to be nervous since it's only a first, so don't be too pressured, ok?"

"Thank you, I appreciate the gesture, but I don't really have stage fright and I don't mind the attention. So, I'm fine" I explained, accepting the bottle from her with a smile, but also realizing how I might have sounded "That makes me sound narcissist, doesn't it?"

"A little" she chuckled before fixing her hair and pulling a strand behind her ear "By the way... are you... in a relationship?" she sounded a bit hesitant and embarrassed when she asked. However, she still asked.

I stared at her closely and noticed the glint in her eyes. Honey, I noticed you looking at my brother when he dropped me off.

"That was my brother, his name is Joshua and he is single. Want me to give you his number?"

"?!" Her wide eyes matched her dropped jaw, which was normal. When somebody reads your mind and drops you off to the last stop, when you were going to keep turning around the intersection, that was a normal reaction to this unusual action.

"Is everything okay Madeline?" The sound director asked smirking, which probably meant he heard the whole conversation, taking into consideration that they already bugged us with these little mics. However, the rest of the staff looked at her then at me with accusing eyes, like I was bullying her.

"Yeah, I'm fine" she smiled at them tightly... More like I feel constipated kind of smile. She then covered her mic tightly with her hand and turned to me "How did you know?. that.you know... It was about him" she muttered as if covering the mic wasn't enough

"Your body speaks for you"

"You can tell from ?"

"I'm a psychologist" I put it out there for her even though it was obvious to everyone here.

"Right!" She turned away, covering her face with both of her hands "! this is embarrassing"

I slid the water bottle back to her "I think you need it more than I do" upon hearing that, she threw her hands down and looked at the bottle laying in front of her

"I actually do" she chuckled, taking it from my hold and sipping its content "This is worst first impression, I'm sorry"

"It was good, I experienced much worse than that"

She laughed before she stated "that that it's bad" concluding it with a genuine smile from her part

I smiled back "Don't want to lie"

My part of the show was over in no time, so the first thing I did was go back to the dressing room to fix my clothes, fetch my bag and leave. Yet, to my surprise, the door opened wide before I can even manage to close it.

youthe two of us spat the same thing although we used different tones; while mine was of pure surprise and shock, his was absolutely anger, maybe even rage.

"I was invited for a show" I spoke first then waited for him to answer but I was met, yet, with another question from his part

"And why did you take it?"

"Why wouldn't I?" I encountered.. He wasn't the only one to ask questions here! And I was not going to get interrogated by my -husband!

"Because I work !"

"Well I didn't know you changed your workplace. I even declined the offer from the station you work for, well apparently, workED for..."

"You didn't know?"

"No, if I did I would have declined it"

"Why?! you don't want to see me again? do you-"

"You are the one that doesn't want to see me again, and your behavior now proves it... I don't want to make you uncomfortable at work, that's all to it, nothing more Henry"

"You're fine with it? You feel nothing?!"

"I'm fine"

"" he repeated then clenched his jaw and looked away, not for long though, since he drove his attention back to me and added "I heard they want you to be a permanent member on the show, but I believe you will decline"

"I will think about it "

"You said you didn't want to make me uncomfortable and now that you came to know that I work here what is there to think about?!"

"Because I asked her to" Mister Julian came at the right time, walking into the room and nodding his head towards me as if acknowledging my presence "I was about to thank you for the appearance with flowers, but my idiot of a son is late... Along with the flowers"

"It's fine. I promised you I would show up and help with this episode so. Here I am.. As for the permanent position, as I said I will think abou-"

"Amanda?"

Some familiar but also unfamiliar voice called my name, making my curious mind search for it... I looked at the shadow by the door_ the one that called my name_ holding flowers in his hands, panting with a smile on his face, forcing another smile to form instantly on my lips when our eyes met and recognition ignited "Edwin?!"

"OH MY GOD! That is you!" he exclaimed, whilst getting his body inside the room joining the three of us "This is whom you wanted me to meet?" he turned to ask mister Julian; who was dumbfounded.

"Y-yes" he answered seeming to be creeped out by Edwin's reaction "May know how do you two know each other?" he asked looking back and forth between the two of us.

"Dad! I have so many pictures of her, I even showed them to you!. Well you might have forgotten since that was years ago "

Dad?

Julian snow... Edwin snow... Oh god!!This is the son he was talking about!!

I furrowed my eyebrows at his words "You what?!" He has pictures of me? And he showed him to his father?... Is that why mister Julian seemed to be nice towards me?.. Extremely nice for that matter.

Edwin turned back to gaze at me with a boyish smile. "Ow, yeah, I didn't tell you, did I?"

"No, you didn't"

Not a Single One of you thought to tell me ANYTHING actually!

one changed his workplace when we were still married and didn't even bother to tell me he did, the other didn't tell me who his son was, and the third apparently has pictures of me that I didn't even know that he took!!

"So, how do you both know each other?" mister Julian interrupted, before I got the explanation I needed!

"Art club" Edwin kept it short

"Oh .." mister Julian turned to me "You were into photography? "

"Painting. The two that I have" he explained further "The ones hanging in my room "

"Those are hers?!"

"Yeah "

"OH MY GOODNESS!" he turned to me with his wide eyes "May I know why you chose psychology, you have an amazing talent in painting, I c-"

Nudging his father and shaking his head "Dad, I believe that's a bit private" Edwin mumbled under his breath.

But it truly wasn't a big of a deal

"Actually, I was the friendly type so I had a wide range of friends, one of them was schizophrenic, which got me to be a bit curious about it and somehow, I ended up learning about psychology. And here I am"

"What about ?"

"Dad" Edwin hissed

"Stop overreacting Ed, it's not even that big of a deal.." I spoke before I chose to answer Mister Julian's question "Well, she attempted murder, so she was imprisoned and from there..We just lost contact"

"Oh, dear. I'm sor-"

"If only I knew you then mister Julian, I would've used a month in your hotels for free" I said trying to change the subject and the atmosphere, but that didn't mean that I wasn't aware of the way that Henry looked at me...

He didn't know about any of this and it was the first time he ever got to know any type of information about me... I don't know if I should feel apologetic towards him for not telling him or towards myself because he never cared, and he never asked.

"You were in our hotel for a month?" Ed turned to me, breaking my train of thoughts

"Yeah"

"Restart?"

"Yeah"

"Still the same I see, even after fourteen years. I remember the first time you ever did this was when you stayed in your garage with a sleeping bag for like a week. You asked your family to leave you alone and not to ever get in there just because one of your cats at that time died"

"Yeah, I'm still the same. But I can't really say the same in your case, as you changed a lot"

"More dashing?"

"Your father is here, so I will say "

"Ugh! The usual Amanda"

Mister Julian cleared his throat driving our attention to him before he glanced at the bouquet in Edwin's hands "Oh right! these are your flowers" Ed handed me some lilies with his old_usual_signature smile

"Thank you"

"If I knew it was you, I would have brought you gardenia with some globe amaranth"

"I think goldenrod fits you in that case"

We smiled at each other, not feeling awkward at all. it's been years since we last met, and a lot has happened still_ like it was yesterday_ almost nothing has changed.

"Mister..eh... What was your name again?" mister Julian turned to talk to Henry. I know for a fact that he knew his name but he pretended not to... What is he planning on doing?

"Henry Stephens, sir"

"I think we should leave them some space don't you think... They are flirting in front of this old man so openly m"

"We are not flirting" I stated before I can even stop myself

"Well technically, I am confessing and she just gave me a warning" Edwin playfully glared at me

"This old man has quite the knowledge when it comes to flowers and their meaning. I was a romantic myself.. Do you perhaps happen to know what they mean mister, uh what was it? Stephens, I believe, right?"

"Yes, sir. And unfortunately I do not know" Henry was acting super polite now. Of course! After all, he's in front of his boss... I'm merely his -wife so he can burst in an-

"Well let me tell you. Gardenia and globe amaranth mean secret and unfading love, and here you are telling me that that is not flirting" he winked at me, driving a sigh out of my lungs...

Just what does this man have under his sleeves?

"You need to learn this language, it is beautiful. Especially that you are married, I believe" mister Julian eyed Henry's hand which drove my attention to it, to find his wedding ring... His wedding with... .

Mister Julian kept eyeing Henry who drove his full attention to me; hiding his hand behind his back when he noticed that I saw it "I think I smelled some yellow hyacinth in here ..." mister Julian spoke still looking at Henry before he turned to Edwin and me, smiling at the two of us "Don't get jealous son, you will get married too. Hopefully, soon."

This situation, now... Was all a scenario made by this one man, and the three of us somehow were dragged into the roles he wanted, since he was leading us from the beginning. This man trusted me before with his daughter and he even treated me like one... I don't know if I'm being stupid when I jump into his trap.. but...

Yellow hyacinth meant jealousy, and I'm quite sure it's not Edwin he meant because he is still oblivious to what is going on.. But it was me... I was jealous that the man I married for five years is still in love with his first and still holding onto her dearly, while no one has ever loved me to even start with, let alone hold on to me.

I am jealous of you Ivy, that you are so deeply and dearly loved... And trust me, I don't want to feel like this towards you...

"Mister Julian" I looked straight into his eyes "I accept the offer"

"Which one? my son or the show?" he asked, knowing well the answer to his question.

"Both"

"That's what I wanted to hear "

I know..

You made me say it somehow ...

Actually

All it took, was...

I knew for a fact that I was throwing myself again.. but I was hoping that this time it will not harm me in any way.