"I would split open my heart with a knife, place you within and seal my wound, that you might dwell there and never inhabit another." -Ibn Hazm

2 Years Ago

Blood drips from my hands as I stare at the man I just slaughtered. I feel no remorse. He should have thought twice before wandering into my pack.

Restlessness has overtaken by life since Alessandra left. It's barely been two months and I'm already losing it. Women help take the pain away. That brief moment of ecstasy after some good sex is what really eases me. Unfortunately, the only face that my brain conjures up as I come is the one I'm trying so desperately to forget.

Alphas have self-control.

My dad's voice rings in my ears and I want to shout at the man. I kill to control myself. I fuck to control myself. I fucking kill my body with grueling workouts just to take my mind off of the woman the goddess assigned me to.

It's not fair. I'm not the kind to bitch about the cards I've been dealt, but I know for a fact that Alessandra only feels a fraction of what I do. It's easier for her to hate me than it is to miss me. Sadly, I do not have the same luxury. What am I supposed to hate the woman for?

I pour myself some bourbon and swipe through the photos Vincenzo had sent me. I told him to keep an eye on her and report back to me. My cousin was reliable but he was also charming and I almost regret assigning him with the task as I take in Alessandra's face. She looks joyful. She hasn't looked that way since she found out we were mates. Jealousy swarms my body as I stare at her laughing with Vincenzo. He had done what I was unable to and a part of me was thankful but a bigger part of me wanted to punch him. I want her to laugh for me, smile for me, only for me.

I drop my phone on my desk and lean back in my chair. Knowing that I made the right decision by sending her to Italy lulls me to sleep and I completely forget about the dead man laying on my floor, surrounded by his own blood.

I tug on the handcuffs and bite my tongue as the wolfsbane they are soaked in touches my skin. My breathing is erratic and my canines will not stop elongating then retreating.

I smelled Alessandra's heat before she realized it. The sweet smell made me go feral. I was not going to sleep with her, just give her an orgasm or two. All of that went to shit when I smelled her heat, it was like her natural scent but times ten.

"Calm down Zane we are almost home," Hiro tells me.

I called him when I realized what had happened. He was in town snooping on the Oberois anyways so he showed up quickly. I put Alessandra on the jet that Hiro took here and he stayed with me while we waited for the other one to come to Manhattan. He had put handcuffs on me to make sure I didn't kill him for keeping me from my mate.

There was no way I would survive on a plane with Alessandra during her heat, so separate jets were necessary. The stewardess from her flight had alerted me that she had not woken up on the flight.

Donata did say her heat would be difficult because it has been put off for so long, but I did not expect her to lose consciousness.

"My mate needs me, Hiro," I say. I was hoping she was still asleep because once she woke up there would be a great deal of pain to deal with.

The pilot announces that we are landing and I nearly foam at the mouth.

"Hold your horses I'll get the key alright," Hiro says.

He walks back with a small key and I hiss as the wolfsbane burns my skin. For a second I'm grateful for it because it takes my mind off of Alessandra. Every single nerve in my body was lighting up. I could feel her wolf calling for me.

It was such a mind fuck. All I could think of was her and it pained me to think of her suffering.

Hiro unlocks the handcuffs and I bolt out of my seat ready to run to my house. I had instructed her family and friends to put her there in the room furthest from mine. My goal was to keep us far away from each other but I knew it was a wasted effort.

I shift into my wolf and take off toward my house. The trees blur and I see pack members stop what they are doing to watch me race toward my luna. Instantly I take into account that barely any of the viewers are male.

Shit.

The realization makes my legs pump faster until I reach my house on the lake. A swarm of young men stand outside demanding to be let into the house that holds a fertile werewolf. This is a common occurrence on pack grounds. Every male without a mate is drawn to the smell of a woman in heat. It's not a conscious decision, this is when the animalistic nature of us wolves completely controls us. Regardless, the temptation to throttle each one of the men who wait to claim my mate is almost too much to bear. I know I have to get to Alessandra or I might just kill some of my own men.

I vaguely register Alessandra's dad, the former beta, and Ricardo chase them off. I'm sure a part of them wishes to do the same to me. I stumble into the entrance of my home and shift back into my human form. I snatch the blanket hanging off the couch to cover myself and stomp up the stairs. I can't see or process anything other than the sweet smell of Alessandra.

She's laying on the floor, surrounded by bags of ice while Lilia and Callie press cold towels onto her skin. Lilia's blonde hair whips around when she hears me come in.

"Alpha! Oh, my goddess, it's bad, it's so bad," she says, her eyes filling with tears.

Callie, who is clearly more composed than her friend, turns to me.

"She won't wake up, we've tried everything, and her temperature is getting too high," she tells me.

"Doesn't that happen in heat anyway?" I ask.

"Yeah, but not to this extent it's like she's on fire," she says.

"Go get Donata, I'll stay here with her," I tell them.

"Alessandra's mom went to get her," Lilia says.

"We'll go wait outside," Callie says. They both exit my room and I sit on the floor next to Alessandra. The cold floor should be helping her temperature but I can feel her skin continue to get hotter. Her body convulses so violently that fear swarms my heart. This isn't normal.

"Ally, come on little wolf, open your eyes."

Nothing. I place my hand over her heat even though I can hear it, I do it to console myself but it has the opposite effect. It's slow, too slow. I cannot wait for Donata to get here, I have to do something now.

An idea comes to mind and I spring up, cradling Alessandra in my arms.

We make it to the lake in record time. I did not stop to explain to her family or friends what was going on, there was no time for that. It's freezing outside, yet Alessandra's skin still glistens with sweat.

Luckily I had time to put some pants on before I left but I strip them off. I do the same to Alessandra, taking off the small amount of clothing she does have on. I wrap her body around mine. Her head rests in the crook of my neck and her stomach is against mine.

I start walking towards the lake when I am interrupted by a shrill voice.

"What are you doing? Are you crazy?" Valentina shouts. I understand her concern for her daughter, but there is nothing else I can do.

"It just snowed, the water will be freezing!" Lilia adds.

Ignoring them, I walk into the lake. The water is so cold that my feet go numb almost instantly.

"You're going to kill her and yourself!" Valentina shouts, her voice filled with panic. Valentina always exaggerates. Worst case scenario we get sick.

I continue on until everything but our heads are submerged. Her heart starts to pick up its pace and it's enough to convince me that this was worth it, even if it feels like my limbs are going to fall off.

I stand there with her body in my arms. Her naked skin against mine feels right like this was the one purpose I was put on this planet for.

"Come on, little wolf," I urge, hoping my words stir her from her sleep.

The chill of the water makes its way to my bones and I wonder how much longer I can stay in the water.

The goddess must take pity on me because Alessandra's eyes flutter open. She looks disoriented, almost like she's on some sort of drug but I do not pay attention to that.

No, instead I focus on the warm brown of her eyes and cherish the feeling of them looking at me with something other than hate or contempt. My hand reaches up to hold her face. I swipe away the droplets of water under her eyes with my thumb while the rest of my fingers stay tangled in her hair. I continue to stare at the eyes that I was not sure I would see again. Eyes that I've been obsessed with since I was a boy.

"Cuore mio," I whisper. I know she does not hear it in her dazed state but they pass my lips nonetheless.

For one moment, everything is calm. Lilia, Callie, and Valentina have stopped freaking out and choose to spectate instead. The water is still and I can barely even hear any of the animals in the surrounding forest move. But then I'm hit with a wave of arousal that nearly gives me a fucking heart attack.

Alessandra is fully awake now and she's looking at me like I'm dessert. I let her go from my arms and submerge myself in the water. It gives me a minute to gather myself before I break through the surface and swim as fast as I can towards land. It's too risky to shift into my wolf, the fucker has been wanting to fully claim Alessandra since her birthday. My feet touch the sand and I take off running as fast as I can.

This is my idea of mercy because the day I make Alessandra mine there will be no letting her go. She thinks she wants it but she doesn't really get it.

People think I'm emotionless simply because I choose not to express them. The truth is that I do have emotions. I love my parents. I feel loyalty to my pack. But Alessandra? I'm obsessed with her. Maybe I always have been. I know everything there is to know about that woman and she's not ready for it. Love breaks your heart but obsession destroys your soul.

Hide little wolf, because when I find you, you're mine.