When I got home from the cemetery, the house was pitch black. Assuming everyone was asleep, the two of us crept up the stairs on our tiptoes. Taking me by the hand, Ethan led the way to my room as we maneuvered ourselves in the dark. Occasionally, Ethan would flick a glance at me and each time I could catch a glimpse of his smile.

My mind was racing through a million different hypothetical scenarios as soon as we entered the room. I locked the door behind me, and I barely had a chance to turn when Ethan came up from the back, his head bent down to nuzzle against my cheek. The warm puffs of his breath caressed my skin and he playfully nipped the tip of my earlobe. I had never felt this kind of touch before, it gave me shivers and a want for more.

I tilted my head back and melted into the pleasure, eyes shutting closed and lips unabashedly parting. Ethan didn't stop there, he brought a hand to cup my jaw and went on to plant passionate kisses all over my cheek, his free hand curled around my neck, his fingers slithering up into the short hair at my nape. A quiet moan left my lips as lust started to swirl in my belly. Ethan spun me around to face him, he grabbed my hair with both of his hands, tugging it just enough to pull my head back.

"Show me your tongue," he ordered.

I opened my mouth and poked out my tongue in spite of being surprised. Ethan leaned down at a torturous pace, his own tongue slid out, and began to tease mine with a gentle flick. Mildly frustrated, I stood straighter so that our tongues were within touching distance, however, the boy smirked and withdrew away from me.

He did this torturous move a few more times to build my frustration, and as he continuously avoided appeasing me, I let out a whimper - begging for more contact. Soon after, Ethan latched his mouth onto mine and I quickly kissed back. I inhaled deeply, focusing on how good he tasted, it took me a moment to fully realize that I was kissing Ethan.

With a deep moan, Ethan pushed his tongue inside my mouth and deepened the kiss. I did the same and in response his kiss became rougher with need, his arms snaking around my neck, pulling me against him. The room soon filled with the wet sounds of our lips and heavy breathing.

I found the courage to reach down to his stomach, slipping my fingers under the hem of his shirt. His abs felt more amazing than they looked as I touched them. When we broke for air, he reached behind his head to pull his shirt off in a single fluid motion and he wasted no time surging forward to claim my lips again, sucking my tongue and exploring every little space inside my mouth.

I felt the edge of my sweater being tugged and just after that, it was stripped off by him, next came the black shirt underneath it leaving me topless. Ethan took me into his arms and carried me to the bed, he laid my body onto the mattress and hurriedly stepped back to unbuckle his belt. I bit my lips and blushed at the sight of his heavy bulge behind the fly of his jeans. In seconds, Ethan was only in a boxers and was crawling back on top of me.

Ethan attacked my neck with hot open-mouthed kisses and a gasp was ripped through me once he found that sensitive spot. My gasp turned into a moan when he started grinding his crotch into mine. I could literally feel his hard-on through the thin fabric. By the time his fingers found their way into the waistband of my pajamas, I had to interrupt him.

"W-wait, Ethan," I called out weakly, pushing against his chest.

Ethan stopped and looked at me with concern. "Did I hurt you?"

"No, you didn't," I said, composing myself. "It's just. I'm not ready."

"That's alright, if you're not ready then I won't force you," he cooed, still breathless from our...activities.

Ethan got off me and laid down on his back, quietly staring up at the ceiling. I wondered what he might be thinking of now. I didn't hurt his feelings or made him feel unwanted, right?

"I'm sorry," I voiced my regret.

Ethan propped himself up on one elbow to look at me. "What are you apologizing for?" He asked softly.

"For being a real cock-blocking buzzkill," I told him and he cracked up.

"I fully support your decision, Andy. I never want you to feel like you have to force yourself to do anything you're not comfortable with," he assured me with the cutest smile.

I wasn't sure if it was because of the new sensations I was feeling or because I realized that my first time might be with a guy. I just couldn't bring myself to it. Anyhow, I was just glad that Ethan was very understanding.

"It's getting late. Let's get some sleep," he said, to which I turned to my side and switched off the table lamp.

Ethan tossed his arm around my waist and pulled me towards him. Absorbing the warmth of his body while feeling and enjoying the skin-to-skin sensation, I snuggled into his chest and pulled the blanket over us. Ethan tightened his hold around me and I smiled in content before drifting off to sleep.

**

The next day came and I woke up to an empty space next to me after I ran my hand over the cold sheet. I peeked out from one eye to find that Ethan was no longer in the room. He left me a note on the other pillow though, stating that he went home to get ready and that he was going to drive me to school later.

And he kept his promise as always. Through the entire ride, we talked about many things from his football community service event and my short meet with Mr. Gilinsky, to Steve's upcoming musical play, Kaden and his recent obsession with K-dramas, and to, of course, Kaleb's oddly new friendship with my neighbor but neither of us spoke about the night before.

In hope of resisting the urge to nap, I sat down in the clamorous cafeteria at lunch. Alone, given that I still couldn't face Elle after what Ethan had told me. We didn't interact at all during our earlier periods, even so, I could feel her burning holes into the side of my head.

I spotted Ethan with his group of friends a few tables away from me. As if we had telepathy, our eyes met and we smiled at one another. I couldn't comprehend how he could stay energetic and sociable whereas I struggled not to fall asleep in the middle of doing my English assignment.

Where did he get all of his energy when we only had four hours of sleep last night?

After some time, I looked up from the book I was reading to check on Ethan again only to find Elle, approaching my table in her confrontational demeanor.

"Where have you been?" she questioned after she self-invited herself to sit.

I straightened my back, trying to act casual. "I slept early last night. I was very tired."

"Mm, then explain the panda eyes," Elle questioned, pointing a finger to my face.

"What panda eyes?" I asked back, feigning innocence.

Elle brought her face closer to mine. "Don't bullshit me, Andy. Why didn't you return my calls or my texts? You that busy?"

"You're blowing up my phone while I'm tryna watch anime," I told her another lie that I hoped she would believe.

"What would you have done if your boyfriend and your guy friend went MIA on the same night?" she pressed angrily.

"I don't know," I answered. "Um, I'm sorry I guess?"

Elle leaned back in her chair and crossed her own arms. "Was he at your place?"

"Why don't you ask him?"

Elle's head shot up at my question. "We haven't spoken yet."

"Yes," I admitted proudly. "He was there."

"I feel so betrayed but that's okay." Her eyes directly darted to Ethan who was covertly watching our interaction from his lunch table.

"What else did you guys do?" Elle shot me another question which caused my stomach to twist and turn.

"Um, we... " I trailed off, looking at Ethan. I felt the heat of guilt and embarrassment colouring my face.

"You won't believe what just happened to me." A male voice abruptly interrupted me from my frantic confession, saving me.

I shut my eyes in relief, mentally thanking whoever he was and when I opened my eyes back, Charlie was already taking a seat across the table next to Elle.

"Charlie, we're in the middle of a serious conversation," Elle told him with a bit of bitterness in her voice.

"Good, I have some tea to spill too," he replied, brushing off her concern. "Oh, what's up, Andrew?"

"What's up," I acknowledged him with a nod and we exchanged smiles. "Is everything cool?"

"Not really," Charlie admitted sadly.

Elle observed the blonde-haired boy, holding her attention at him. "What's wrong?"

"You guys saw that little donation station outside, right?" he started and we both nodded.

"I was gonna donate blood and they asked me all these questions including my sexual activity history," he told us.

"I know where this is going," Elle inferred.

"So, I wrote down that I wasn't sexually active but I have been kissing guys yet the phlebotomy people told me that I was in a high-risk community and that I wouldn't be able to donate," he continued.

"That is so awful of them, wow, like that makes no sense at all," I chimed in.

"How did you react?" Elle asked through clenched teeth.

Charlie held out a deep breath. "I left all pissed knowing I only kissed a guy but somehow I couldn't donate. I low-key felt discriminated."

"Yeah, they were discriminating you. They basically thought that you kissing men meant that you're a homosexual and so they don't want your blood," I said and Charlie hummed in understanding.

"It's a known thing that the Red Cross doesn't allow gay men to donate blood. Well, they technically do but you have to prove you haven't been sexually active for the past six months," Elle explained while keeping her eyes down to her phone.

"Where do you know that from?" I asked her curiously.

"Google is free, bestie." she held up her phone, showing us an article about it. "Either way, they don't want gay blood. They're homophobic."

"That's messed up." I heard Charlie muttered.

"Excuse me, gentlemen. Wish me luck 'cause I gotta win over my man back," Elle announced once she saw Ethan get up from his table. Soon after, she sashayed over to his place.

I figured out that Ethan was not pleased with her presence by looking at his uncomfortable expression. I wondered how things would work between them if Ethan told her about our little entanglement.

"Can I say something?" Charlie spoke, shaking me from my reverie.

"Sure," I replied. I had completely forgotten he was still here.

"A word of advice; falling for a straight guy is one of the worst forms of self-harm," he informed me unexpectedly.

"Where are you going on with this?" I looked at him strangely.

Charlie's eyes were fixated on me, his gaze was so intense that I had to break the eye contact.

"Come on, Andrew. I've seen the way you look at Ethan. Elle might not aware but a gay guy always notices. I know because I was once in your shoes," he said with a small grin.

I chuckled lightly. "You've got it all wrong. I'm not gay."

"I didn't say you were." Charlie pointed out. "But what I know is that you're not straight."

I shrugged. "Maybe you're right."

I actually didn't care about my sexuality. I never had the urge to specifically label myself as one thing or in any way.

"Think about what I said. I don't want you to end up only being a pleasant diversion to his heterosexual problem," he warned me.

Without another word, Charlie rose from my table and made his way over to a table where his friends from drama club were gathering. Despite his efforts of trying to convince me, his logic was lacking sense, he didn't know Ethan the way I did.

Soon enough, the sound of people clapping and cheering distracted me from my writing. I glanced over in their direction to see both Ethan and Elle were in each other's arms and surrounded by other football dudes.

Elle's green eyes collided with mine and she waved at me, looking like the happiest person in the room. I smiled back and did a little wave to show my support. I couldn't get a good look at Ethan because his back was facing me.

Two of my best friends got back together and I didn't know what to feel about that.

Great.