When I awoke, I was tied to a stick, upside down. My body screamed at me, my head hurt, my arms were feeling as if they were being stretched, and my feet and legs were numb. I looked around dizzily, suppressing a moan. I was in a cottage of sorts, the rest of the crew tied in the same fashion I was, but they were still knocked out.

Jack. "Jack. Where is Jack?" I asked nobody in particular.

Just as I spoke the words, the door clamored open and Jack strode in like a tornado. I had to forget where I was and laugh, he looked so bloody ridiculous.

Jack had his face painted; there were sets of green and blue eyes crisscrossing over his nose and when he blinked, there were more painted on his eyelids. He had on a toe necklace, and was brandishing a blue feathered staff around, searching the room frantically.

His eyes found mine and he rushed over. "Adeena, darling. Let me get you out."

I was about to say something but he interrupted me with a rather passionate kiss. I completely forgot what I had been about to tell him, instead I groaned and wished I was off the pole. Then, tearing his mouth from mine, he sliced the ropes bonding me to the pole and I fell to the ground; the lunatics who had chained us up had suspended us in the air somehow.

He helped me up and I grunted, knowing how much I would hurt later. I glared at him and he grinned.

"Are you alright?" He asked sort of gruffly.

I nodded. "Jack, where am I?" I hissed. "And is this the newest addition to your getup?"

He gave me a look and replied rather cooly. "Gee, thanks, Jack, for getting me out. You're very welcome."

I kicked his leg lightly. "Jack," I began threateningly.

He winced. "These people, these natives, are cannibals, love. I, um, somehow became the chief."

My jaw dropped. "Cannibals."

He grimaced again. "Yes. Well, they also think I'm a god or something. Don't look like that, I'm being honest. Honestly."

I rolled my eyes. "I bet you are loving your leadership...Jack, what is it?" I lost my sarcastic tone at the look on his face. He looked a bit appalled.

"Well, they also believe I am trapped in human form...rather like Calypso, savvy? So they're planning on eating me..."

"What?" I spat angrily.

"...to release me from my lovely prison. Could be worse, eh, love?" He asked, grinning and gesturing at his handsomeness. I blushed.

"Jack, do you have a plan?" I asked, fiddling with his sash.

He brushed the hair from my eyes. "Of course."

"Are you telling the truth?" I shivered as his fingers trailed along my jaw.

"Nope." He grinned and pecked me affectionately, then whirled around, taking me with him.

"Jack, this is udder madness!" I called, just before he opened the door.

He smirked. "This is me, Captain Jack Sparrow. Call it what you want."

I pulled him away from the door again. "What about me, Jack, I'm not a god trapped in human form!"

He grinned again. "You, in fact, are me lovely goddess, also trapped in an unfortunately attractive palace."

I felt my skin flush. "Fine. But I get eaten first, deal? I don't want to watch you."

He grimaced. "Accord."

He swung the door open and I stepped outside into the blinding light. I squinted a bit, then almost puked in surprise at the natives. They were so gross it was comical; rotting skin and paint and bones. One in particular was painted all black, with white bones stenciled on along his arms and legs, making it seem he was a skeleton. There were tiny bones piercing his ears and chunks of flesh ripped from his face; I supposed that when the cannibals ran out of ignorant humans they had to resort to drastic measures.

Jack took my hand and whispered, "You are a beautiful goddess. Act like one."

I nodded and held my head high, gripping Jack's fingers as he led me to what I assumed to be his 'throne'. It was crafted of feathers and bones, and the skins of unfortunate animals. Jack pulled me down beside him, the chair was so big so we could sit comfortably next to one another with room to spare, and sat regally. I smiled with amusement at him and he winked.

A younger cannibal, a female, with a long grass skirt on and wearing a sort of woven bra over her breasts stepped up to us. She was painted with pink flowers, vines bursting with the buds appearing to grow up her torso and neck. She would've been pretty, if not for the jagged, healed over scar obscuring her face. And, well, what she would do to us.

She spoke a sort of gibberish to Jack and he nodded wisely, I supposed the natives had a unique language as well as culture. Jack babbled back to her and stood; I did the same.

He turned to me, then gestured to himself. "Your turn." He grinned, his gold teeth sparking in the sun.

I glanced unhappily at his new accessories. "What are you god of? And what am I?"

"I," He said dramatically, "Am god of the ocean. Fitting, eh?" I couldn't keep the amused smile off my face. "You, I believe, are the goddess of..." He turned to the cannibal girl with the flowers, then asked her something in halting cannibal speak. She answered and Jack frowned. "I can't quite translate that. I think, maybe, Quitchelcol here meant something along the lines of illusions."

I thought for a moment and nodded. Illusions. Hmm...

Jack nodded at the girl, Quitchelcol, and she took my hand, gently guiding me away. I threw one last glance at him before I was pulled into another shack.

It was dimly lit by candles, and the walls were covered with shelves and shelves of jars filled with colorful mixtures. I stared around curiously for a minute, then sat down in a chair that Quitchelcol indicated to me.

She knelt down and pulled off my boots, then indicated I should do so with the rest of my clothes.

I raised an eyebrow, then pointed at the door.

She smiled with amusement and shook her head, meaning no one would enter.

I sighed and slipped out of my shirt, sash, and pants. While I did so, folding them neatly, she treaded around the room, pulling jars off the walls and shaking her head, mumbling incoherent things and gathering the glass containers in her arms.

Finally, she crouched before me and laid out the jars, opening each one. She stared at my body for a minute, tilting her head, making me rather uncomfortable. She finally dipped her fingers into the liquid and began to swirl the colors around my skin.

Once she was finished, she blew on the paint a bit, helping it to dry, then offered me a hand up. I took it and she handed me back my clothes.

I began to pull them back on, but she shook her head and reached behind her. She pulled another bra like hers from a hook on the wall, then a grassy skirt that was more filled in then hers. I studied the outfit before pulling it on. I wondered if Jack had been offered what I had seen some of the men in here. I snorted at the thought.

Quitchelcol gazed at me questioningly, then ushered me out of the shack and into the light. She led me back to Jack, who was talking to the guard behind the chair. I whistled and he turned, then gaped at me.

I waved Quitchelcol off with a smile and she offered me a grin in return. I then forced myself to not rush to Jack; I walked slowly toward him, blushing.

"Wow. They are...very talented." Jack commented, his eyes straying to my curves. Sigh. He would never change.

Quitchelcol had painted rivers of sun and moonlight up and down my back; vines circled my legs and my eyes were outlined heavier than normal, as I also used kohl as Jack did.

Jack stared at me, his gaze still roaming. I gave him an eye roll and sat down next to him and leaned into his side. "You look bloody beautiful, darling," He whispered.

I smiled and kissed his chest. "I know. These people are aren't actually that bad, once you get past the eating-other-people-thing."

He shivered. "I can't seem to get past it, love."

I giggled and sat up a bit straighter. A few natives were emerging from the cabin I had awoken in. I narrowed my eyes. They were swinging a person between them...

I sat up all the way and Jack stiffened. "Will?" I asked in disbelief.

Will glanced at me, obviously not recognizing me as Adeena under the paint and new garments. "Jack!" He exclaimed. "Jack Sparrow!" He sent another glance at me, though this time it was one of distaste and repulse. "Ditched Adeena for a cannibal, have you? You must be desperate..."

My temper flared and Jack latched onto my wrist, pulling me close so he could whisper in my ear. "Let me do the talking, and cool down. You would say the same."

I nodded and he stood, padding toward Will. He leaned over him and poked his arm, his brow furrowing. I resisted the urge to laugh.

"Bo likki-likki," Jack said. The cannibals that had gathered around nodded sagely.

"Bo likki-likki!" They repeated.

Will's brow furrowed as Jack leaned over him once more. "Lum, measty-weesey." Jack glanced down at Will's groin and made a snipping gesture with his hands. "Lum-say-say, eunuchy. Snip-snip."

"Eunuchy!" The tribe cried.

Jack started back toward me again, grinning, and I fought to contain my laughter.

"Jack! You must help us!" Will cried frantically. "Elizabeth is in danger! She faces the gallows! All I need is your compass!"

Jack stopped, considering this, then turned again. The cannibals, who had begun chanting again and were carrying him away, stopped and fell silent. Jack turned to one of the guards on either side of our throne and gestured with his hands. He babbled some cannibal speak, and the cannibals nodded and began their chanting again, carrying Will away.

"Save me," Jack whispered to Will as they carried him away. Will looked confused, then angry.

"Jack! What did you tell them?" He asked fearfully. His yells faded away as the natives carried him to an unknown destination.

Jack sat by me again. "What did you tell them?" I asked. They tribe that was left was preparing a huge fire for Jack and I to be roasted upon.

"He'll be in prison like the rest of the crew. The crew that's left, anyhow." He looked saddened. "Anamaria was the first to be eaten."

My face fell and I considered him cooly. "Aren't you the chief? Can't you stop this?"

He winced. "I'm only the chief if I act like a chief, love."

I couldn't disagree.

Jack eyes suddenly lit up in that, I got a plan! way. He jumped up and waved his arms about, gesturing at the huge bonfire. "More wood! Big fire! I

am chief, want big fire!"

The cannibals all left, rushing to comply. All of them. I was a bit disgusted at their stupidity but followed when Jack bolted from the clearing.

He ran frantically, his arms flailing as they do, running toward a cliff...

"Jack!" I cried.

He nearly toppled over the edge but caught himself just in time. I ran to him and yanked him back; we ran the other way.

Jack and I passed a shack. He glanced inside and motioned for me to follow him.

The little storage tent was full to the brim with knives, and scythes, and machetes, and spears. I gulped nervously as Jack skipped around, grabbing our effect off one shelf and a rope with the other hand. He tossed me my baldric and slung his own around his shoulders.

"Come on..." He trailed off and picked up a container of paprika. He flipped it and studied the other side. The EITC symbol was engraved in the tin.

"What's wrong, Jack?" I asked, looking over his shoulder. He jumped at my voice.

"Nothing." He pocketed the paprika and turned. I followed him out into the hot sun. We froze.

"Buggar," Jack said.

There were the natives, staring at us with accusing and puzzled expressions.

Jack regained his composure and pulled out the spice. "Little seasoning?" He dusted the spice under his arms. I rolled my eyes and wrinkled my nose. "Eh?"

They stared.