"Imani, are you breathing?" A gently familiar voice asked me from far away and I brought myself back to the here and now, watching as a pale hand waved in front of my face, the person to whom it belonged to looking down at me with concern etched into every feature of his face. His own looks were as familiar to me as my own, and they evoked as strong of a response in me as Jae's did. This face meant love and I wanted to ease the stress I saw on it, protect it no matter how I felt.

"I'm totally fine," I said easily with a smile although I'm sure the stretching of my lips was shaky at best. It was finally here, the moment that I had tried and failed to ignore for the better part of a month; it all had culminated into this single hour where my life would be irrecoverably changed, for better or for worse.

I had always thought that the moment that I'd first had the thought to adopt Jae had been the turning point in my life, but today I realized that this would be my true test. I could no longer be scared of what may or may not happen, could no longer imagine the worst-case scenarios and spend hours lying awake at night and just waiting with a belly full of worry. Now that it was here I almost felt relieved; I would fight 'til the end, but whatever the outcome, what was meant to happen would happen whether I could anticipate it or not. Now was the time to live through the nightmare.

"I'm fine, Yeobo, thanks. Are you ready?" I asked my husband and his answer was in his own small smile.

"Yeah, let's get this done. I don't want Jae waiting too long for us today," TaekWoon said directing this bit to Song who nodded in agreement.

TaekWoon placed his hand on my lower back and we walked together into the courthouse. I was reminded of the other times we'd been to an official building like this one; once to get married and another on the day we'd adopted Jae together. Both days had been emotional whirlwinds, but through it all TaekWoon had been there with me, guiding me just like now. I don't know what I would've done if I'd had to go through all of this alone and I muttered a small prayer of thanks that he had been brought into my life.

The large courthouse has many levels to it, the criminal ones on the bottom, and other types of cases taking place on the upper floors. All of them are clearly noted in the elevators and in the hallways themselves. There's no way to get lost but somehow I want that to be an option; I want to be confident but I feel shaken instead.

The courtroom we'd been assigned to was more or less just the chambers of the judge, and it's empty except for the brown wood-paneled walls, one long cherry wood table and a set of thick black chairs lining each side. It looks almost like a board room with the way it's set up, and I can't stop my unease from kicking up a notch. TaekWoon, Song and I took the seats to the far side of the room, the better to see Kang when she walked in.

My palms were sweating already and the preliminaries hadn't even begun. I had officially never been so nervous in my life and I clenched my hands into fists under the table, the better to hide the shaking that I couldn't seem to stop. TaekWoon looked at me and frowned, taking in my posture. He gently opened my fingers and interlaced them with his own, firmly pressing them. I gave him another weak smile and let out the breath that I had unconsciously been holding in.

I felt my stress fall away just a little and I reminded myself once again that I wasn't in this alone. I looked at my husband, liking the way his black hair fell around his face now that he'd let it grow out longer than usual. I was convinced that if I could stroke it right now I would be able to calm down completely, but it wasn't possible. Instead I tapped my heeled foot against the marble floor in impatience. I glanced at the watch on my wrist and noted the time; court began early and we were here at nine in the morning.

We had admittedly come a bit early for the proceedings but I had expected that Kang would be here just as early if not earlier. She was fighting for the right for her biological child; it seemed strange that she wouldn't be more eager than everyone else to have this resolved. But I couldn't muse for long because not too much later Kang was preceded inside by her counsel and I felt the speed of my pulse increase. Here was my adversary; I had to think of her like that because otherwise I'm not sure if I could go through with this.

A small part of me acknowledged that I'd had no intentions of taking a child away from its mother when I'd first planned on adopting Jae; of course, I had assumed he had been given up. Faced with a woman who had mourned her child's loss and had come back trying to fight for him, that same part respected and pitied Kang in equal measures. But that didn't mean I would let her win this, no matter how I felt JaeHyun was mine now and I wouldn't back down.

As the two women took their seats, the judge entered as well and I straightened in my seat. It had begun and there was no turning back now. TaekWoon's grip on my hand tightened and I gave him a reassuring squeeze back, reminded again that he had to be feeling just as nervous as I did. The bond between himself and Jae was fairly new in comparison to my own, but it was in no way underdeveloped. The two matched so well, if I hadn't known that they weren't father and son biologically, I would've believed that to be the truth. As an idol, he had learned to mask his true emotions well but it was all there for me to see and it pained me to see him hurting for our son and the situation we had found ourselves in.

The judge droned on for a while, using many terms that I was unfamiliar with and even with my advanced grasp of the language, the law was heavy with weird terms and phrases. I was depending on TaekWoon and Song's understanding, and I felt my mind wander as he continued. Watching the room like I was, there was no way to not notice that Kang looked drawn, her face pulled into a deep frown as her lawyer stated her case first before the judge.

I had to say one thing for her defense attorney; the woman was passionate and had a way with words. Instead of SooRi having left her child to fend for itself in the system, now Kang was a mother who'd had to make the terrible decision of leaving her child for its own good. She was no longer the person who callously wanted a child back that had already bonded and been adopted by a loving family; she was a woman torn from her child because of the cruelest of circumstances; a twist of fate making it so that in the same month that she had applied to get her son back, he'd been adopted simultaneously. And of course, she wasn't asking too much to have her son returned to her; after all she was his biological mother and could teach him of his culture and background way better than any foreigner like myself could. Her defense rested on this note and a slight smirk played around Kang's mouth that I had the urgent need to slap off.

I had initially tensed up at the counselor's words, angry that she would bring up something like cultural identity. Even if I hadn't been married to TaekWoon, who was since the last time I'd checked still Korean, she was out of line. I was already raising Jae to be a good person, and I had worked my butt off making sure to learn the language, the culture and doing all that I could so that Jae never felt out of place. Forget the fact that I had determined to live in the country of his birth instead of moving back to the states, this had taken years of hard work and she was trying to push it all aside!

Song's eyes flashed as the woman concluded her case and he launched into an attack of his own. I had admired Song in the beginning for being easy-going but when the time came to perform, he was ruthless. He laid out the truth simply and cut to the heart of things, beginning first with Kang's statement of leaving JaeHyun.

"Your honor, while Kang-ssi did in fact face very troubling times when she had her child in her teens, out of wedlock and destitute, there are many institutions in Korea that she could have turned to, many that would have been suitable for both mother and child to take refuge in. Her giving away JaeHyun was in fact a calculated move so that she could go back home to her mother, thus cutting off ties with her child to continue with the life that she had grown accustomed to. I can't say what she felt during this time, but if she had been determined to keep her son, alternate ways could have been found."

Kang flinched at these words, and I felt no joy in watching her seem to shrink away to nothing in her seat. I steeled my heart against feelings of remorse and instead watched as Song continued our appeal.

"The opposing counsellor's next point, that my clients would be unable to give JaeHyun the proper upbringing, and to be full of pride for his country is also laughable. Jung-ssi was born and raised in Korea, has participated in many events dedicated to spreading the culture and in fact through his music brings the Korean culture to multitudes around the globe. As for Imani-ssi, she must be commended for her struggle as well. As a foreigner in this country, she saw our nation's personal shame in the form of its orphaned children and took steps to resolve it. Because of her, a child was given love and security when it would've received none in this world. Her dedication to learning the language and mastering it to the degree that she has is astounding and her having gone above and beyond to meet the expectations of the adoption committee to show her commitment to raising JaeHyun in his home country, is something that should only be seen as commendable."

"And finally judge, although Kang-ssi may have intended on filing to get her son back, there is only one such instance in the law courts attesting to this fact. As for Imani-ssi, there are in total 37 separate documents stating her intent and willingness to adopt the child." Song handed the papers to the judge who raised his brows in response to the thick stack of paperwork and I felt myself breathe just a tad bit easier.

"With this evidence in mind, your honor, I would like you to think about this situation factually, despite the tender nature of this case. My clients have steady incomes, higher than most natives and much more than that of Kang-ssi. They have loved JaeHyun and bonded with him; he treats them as his parents in every way. They have no intention of leaving the country any time soon, have worked hard to make their adoption a reality. I would ask that you not ruin the familial harmony that has already begun to form here. The truth is that Kang-ssi gave up her son, gave up parental rights and had very little intent on claiming him again. Like a child having its unused toys taken away, she sought to get back something that she had long since tossed aside. Whether this can honestly stand as having a case, I leave up to you, but as far as I'm concerned, JaeHyun's parents are the Jungs and they shouldn't be forced to give up their child on the whim of the woman who gave him up."

Song sat back down easily in his chair, his stern and commanding presence having left the room silent. Nothing could be heard but I watched as tears ran down Kang's face unrelentingly, and I stared until I couldn't look any more. The judge gathered both statements and evidence in his hands, told us that he would come to the decision of if the case would go to trial in a week and bid us all a good day, his face revealing nothing. As he closed the door behind him, I took a deep breath and felt TaekWoon do the same next to me. It was over for now and there was nothing more that we could do. If the case went to trial, this would happen all over again, but next time in front of a small group of family-law lawyers that would decide our fate and the fate of our family.

Kang was now being comforted by her attorney and I turned away from the sight, making myself be the first one out of the court room, my feelings too twisted up in my stomach. There's no denying that I was soft-hearted but I wasn't a fool. If things had gone the opposite way today, it would've been me crying my eyes out in that chair. I couldn't ever stop remembering all that I stood to lose. TaekWoon had followed me out of the room and now we were walking hand-in hand down the seemingly endless hallway towards the elevators. I could tell that he was relieved and I gave him a smile of encouragement, feeling that we both needed it. Now that this stressful part of the day had finally ended, I was eager to pick up Jae and just do something together with the three of us. I was already thinking of what we could get into when I heard the click of a camera shutter going off repeatedly behind us.