Seeing the person that you love breaking down in front of you is so heartbreaking . I don't know what to do aside from hugging him and comforting him with words but other than that I am useless . Sometimes I just wish he will blame me , yell at me , or lash it out on me but he didn't . Instead he keep on blaming himself and keeping the pain inside him . I just wish he will took it out on me , get mad at me but as a good man he is he bottled it all up .

I brushed the flock of hair that is covering his innocent face from me . Dried tears are visible from his cheeks and he's clinging unto me tightly as if I am his lifeline which I am grateful that he's doing it to me . Even in his sleep he is whimpering and his face still showing the pain he felt . I am hurting too and love our baby but I don't know how much it is on him .

I say as I drop a gentle kiss on his head before closing my eyes and hug him tightly to me . This is the only thing I can do to him . Giving him my strength . My warmth , my love .

A cold air brushes my skin as I reach to where Beam was . My eyes snap open and look at the clock . Two in the morning and Beam is not beside me .

I called out but I am being answered by silence . I get up from bed and check if he is the bathroom and he's not . Where could he be ? I murmured to myself worriedly .

I get out from my room and look him around the house . Panick is slowly creeping in my nerves as I step into the living room but stop on my track when I saw the sight on the couch .

Beam is lying on mom's lap and hugging her waist facing her stomach . By the look of his even breathing I can tell he is asleep .

I slowly walk near them and my mom's head snap up to my direction . She's smiling and motion me to come closer and I did . I crouch in front of them , caressing Beam's back gently .

Mom whispered and I give her a nervous look but she taps my arm slowly .

I say sadly and she make a move to stand up and I get up to sit on her place , placing Beam's head on my lap . She then sit beside me and hug me , engulfing me her warmth .

Mom said and I nod , thanking her .

I agreed with mom and carry Beam gently back to my room . He stir a bit but did not wake up . Mom check on him before she go back to her and dad's room too .

After putting Beam back to bed I lie beside him again . Slowly hugging him not wanting to wake him up . I am closing my eyes when I feel him move beside me and snuggle closer to my chest . I can feel his slow breathing on my skin .

He whispered and I open my eyes to look at him and meet his soft and twinkling gaze . I frowned confusedly and he look down again , planting his face on my chest .

I gape at the back of his head under my chin in shock .

He asked without lifting his head from my body and I can only hug him tight . I can feel his smile above my skin .

I ask cautiously and he giggles sending vibrates to my heart . I nearly choke back on the tears that I am trying not to let fall as I squeezed Beam even tighter .

He said and I am picturing out his pouting face . I chuckled as I give him a peck on his temple .

I whispered and he look at me with glistening eyes . He give me a smile and traces my jaw .

He says softly and I can't hold the sob that escapes from me . I close my eyes as I feel his soft lips on mine .

I feel something wet drop on skin and I saw him with tears in his eyes . I wipe it away and give him a soft kiss on his lips . He respond to me with eagerness . The kiss get deepened and we just break it when we need air to breath . He connects our forehead and smile .