This story is inspired by the story of the show "This Is Us".

The last two decades have been awful. My life has been a mess and every day things get harder. Starting work at the B.A.U. a year ago has made things a little better. On today's date though, things tend to fall apart and I still have to work.

Staring into the mirror in the bathroom, tears threaten to fall from my eyes. I stay stationary with my hands gripping the counter, watching the droplets fall down my cheeks. I bring my hand up to my face and wipe them away, grabbing a tissue to dab at my wet eyes and sniffling nose. I let my head hang low, my eyes closed tightly. The empty void in my heart can't be filled. I compose myself and lightly open the door once I don't look like i've been crying.

I glide back to my desk, certainly not looking very happy. This is proven when Spencer comes up to me and starts to question me. He places himself on the edge of the table and swings his feet around.

"Are you alright (Y/N)?" The soft gaze he is giving me makes me feel a tiny bit better.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Thanks Spence." I give him a small smile and glance back down at my work.

He then proceeds to do that thing where he blinks repeatedly and looks down and back up at me again. He gives me a small nod and steps back to his desk.

At around three in the afternoon we are given word that we have a case. I gather my important stuff and head to the conference room. The pictures I see on the screen when I walk in cause my stomach to churn and I feel like I might throw up. The photos are of a house on fire and one victim who died after he got to the hospital. He was a dad. He had two children and he had a loving wife. The sight makes my eyes well up to the brim but I push it away and suck the tears back. It makes me feel sick to my stomach but I force it all down and lock it away. I still have a job to do.

Hotch explains the whole situation and everyone starts a conversation about why the unsub might've done what he did. I keep my gaze fixed on either my feet or my papers, not daring to look at Spencer because I know if I do, I will cry again. Hotch finally says "wheels up in thirty" but he asks me to stay back for a minute. I see Reid and Prentiss look back at me before giving each other confused facial expressions.

"(Y/N), I know how hard today is for you. I also know that these photos and this case might not sit well with you. I'd rather you sit this one out. I don't want this to hinder your job abilities and-" I don't normally interrupt my boss but this time it was critical.

"Hotch, I can do my job. I can do this, I am strong. Thank you for noticing and thinking about me though. I appreciate everything. We should get going." I smile through my tears and pick up all my stuff, walking out of the room.

I get my go bag ready and Rossi makes his way over to me with a raised eyebrow and a cup of coffee. I shift my head towards him momentarily before going back to my previous activity. The Italian man begins to speak.

"I see you're in pain (Y/N), and everyone goes through times like that but you can't-" I cut him off too because he doesn't get it. Nobody does.

"No, Rossi, you don't understand. Today is the hardest day of my life and it has been for the past two decades. It's the worst day of my year and it's not just a rough time, it's the most awful time anyone can go through. So please, spare me of the David Rossi pep talk, just for today please." I berate him and he doesn't act offended or even upset he just nods and walks away from me, patting my back.

I finally get all my stuff in order and try not to cry again whilst zipping up my bag. I know this case is going to be emotionally challenging for me but there are still people in the world who need my help and I can't wallow when my job is calling.

I trudge into the elevator, trippping over my own shoes and bags. Spencer sees this and quickly rushes towards me, taking my bag from me. I look up at him a weak smile on my face.

"Thank you." I engage in conversation as the elevator makes its journey to the first level.

"Are you sure you're doing alright?" He asks me again.

"I don't mean to be rude Reid, but I really don't want to talk about it right now. I'm sorry." I apologize but I don't really know why.

"You don't need to apologize, whenever you're ready to talk is fine with me. Sometimes we lose things. Things that we love. And it makes us feel sad. And I know right now it feels like the worst thing in the world. It will get better (Y/N), I promise." Spencer's words cause the choking sobs to ache and I let go, the flood of tears from my eyes can't be contained anymore.

I drop to the ground of the elevator and Spencer immediately takes me in his arms. I put my head in my hands and bawl my eyes out. I need to tell Spencer. I just do. I stop the elevator.

"My dad used to say that Spencer. Today is the day that he died twenty years ago. It was super bowl sunday and we had all gone to sleep. The crock pot turned back on and..." The tears turn on again and he just strokes my arm and continues nodding letting me know i'm okay and he can wait.

"And it sparked and lit on fire, which caused the house to burn down. It was horrible getting out of there. My brother Randall was in his room and I was in mine. My sister Kate was in the room across from me and my brother Kevin wasn't even home. My dad Jack, when he woke up and smelt the smoke he immediately woke my mom Rebecca up. He went through the flames, taking in the smoke, grabbing each of us one by one and dragging us back to their room. We all went out the window and Kate cried out about her dog in the house. My mom..." I choked all of this out through the tears and started sobbing into his shoulder again.

"It's alright (Y/N), everything is alright, i'm here." He wraps his arms as tightly around me as he can.

"My mom didn't want him to go back in but knowing my dad, he went back in. He didn't come out for a long time and Randall, Kate, my Mom and I all stood there sobbing. He eventually came out with Kate's dog and a bag of things. I was so mad that he went back in for stuff. He was fine for so long and we even got him to the hospital. My mom dropped us kids off at my dads friend Miguel's house and we waited there. I couldn't get a hold of Kevin either, he was with his girlfriend, Sophie. So, my mom waited with him and the doctors said he took in so much smoke they were surprised he lived. My mom left the room to call us and get food from the vending machine. Soon, a doctor came out and..." I stop, saying all of this out loud is hard for me to deal with and i'm scared.

"And he told my mom that Jack had a heart attack and he didn't make it and she didn't believe him and I had to go find Kcvin and tell him and the look on her face when she had to tell us what had happened and Randall-" Spencer stops me and starts to talk, I look up into his tear glazed eyes.

"(Y/N), it's okay. Calm down. I know this is hard for you. I know today is a a hard day for you. I know telling me all that must've been hard for you. I'm proud of you for telling me and for coming to work everyday and living your life like this." He smiles and closes his eyes brining me close to him, his hand running though my hair.

"Spencer, he was the best dad in the universe. He was the best husband in the universe, the best friend, the best man. Jack Pearson was my hero. After my dad died, I thought it was all over, that I could never make it without him. You help me through it. Even today, right now, you're making me feel safe and I know it's going to be okay Spencer, I just miss him more than anything in the world. Just to be able to talk to him for one more day, just one day, is all I ever wish for. That's it. I don't like to wallow but that's what the rest of my family does." I smile at him and he lifts my head toward him.

"I know you miss him. I bet he was super cool (Y/N), and what do you mean the rest of your family wallows and you don't, you should be allowed to wallow." He questions me, tucking hair back behind my ear.

"My mom makes my dads favorite lasagna on super bowl sunday and watches the game, super sad and lonely. My brother Kevin, before he got sober, used to get blackout drunk and sleep with supermodels. My brother Randall cooks as much as he can to push the thoughts to the back of his mind. My sister Kate blames herself every year on this day for my dad going back for the dog. She thinks it's her fault he died." I explain to him what my family does every year on this day but he asks me one more question.

"What do you do? I mean like how do you cope with it every year today?" His question makes me laugh.

"It's kinda dumb but, I go and sit by the tree where his ashes are and I talk to him. I know it's stupid but, I kinda like to think he's listening, somewhere." I look back at the painful looking Reid sitting next to me.

"It's not stupid (Y/N), I am so sorry you have to go through this and I want you to know, I will do anything to make you feel better today on any year." He furrows his brow and I pull him into a hug.

"I actually have one request Spence." I tilt my head, still looking distraught but the tears have stopped.

"Anything."

"Will you kiss me?"

The shock in Spencer's face when the words leave my mouth is so immense that I start talking again to conver up the uncomfortableness.

"Oh my god, i'm sorry I-" Spencer's lips meet mine and I am stopped from talking.

I grab his neck and pull him closer, his touch making me feel happier. I kiss him again and again, our lips moving in sync. He's a really really good kisser too. I feel like I made him uncomfortable but I guess not. He eventually pulls away and I gaze into his chocolate brown eyes.

"I really like you Spencer, is have for a while and last year on this date, being around you just made me forget about how upset I was for a while. You make everything better." I snuggle up to him again, realizing how long we've been in the elevator whilst we have a case.

I stand up abruptly and start the elevator again. Spencer stands up too and intertwines our fingers, looking down at me.

"I just have one question (Y/N)." He states calmly and I nod my head telling him i'm ready to listen.

"Will you watch the super bowl with me tonight?" The smile on his face is so big it reaches both his ears.

"Yeah, yeah I will." I smile and look up as I answer, squeezing Spencer's hand as the elevator doors open.