The lads of 5 Seconds of Summer were on tour currently and Calum's girlfriend, Y/N, was joining them on the ride! Now, Calum himself suffers with depression and is yet to tell Y/N. He doesn't want to as he is terrified that he will ruin the relationship and she may hate him after discovering that he may be even slightly unstable.

Right now, they are hanging around backstage, having just finished a concert. They were sweaty and smelly, and...yeah. Calum pulled of his bass and handed it to his girlfriend, who was right beside him.

"Hey Y/N? Could you do me a favour and stick this in the case?" He asked. She nodded.

"Yeah. Go, and change." She told him. He would shower back at the hotel. It was easier.

As she approached the bass guitar case, she felt just how heavy the instrument was. She wondered how Calum wore this for 3 hours every night. Well, he was really fit, but still, it had quite the heft to it. She placed the guitar on the floor before unbuckling the case, which didn't need to be buckled because it was empty, but that's Calum for you. When she finally opened the case, there was a rattling sound before the sound of plastic hitting the leather of the case. Picking up the white cylindrical object that she believed had made the sound, she read the label.

Antidepressants.

She looked at them, shocked. Surely they were not Calum's. They weren't... he wasn't... there was no way. But they were in his bass guitar case. And it was buckled shut. The only way to explain them is that Calum was depressed. But she didn't want to believe it. Calum was usually so happy. Or at least that was how she saw him. He was perfect to her, nothing was ever wrong with him. Except for the odd hangover.

She twisted the bottle around in her hands, looking for a name. There was one, but it wasn't what she hoped for.

Calum Thomas Hood.

Was written on the label and she felt her heart break. She felt angry. But not at Calum, definitely not at Calum, but with herself, and whoever made Calum think he couldn't tell her. He had kept this from her for 6 months, all the time they had been dating, and he kept it bottled up.

She put the white little tub in her bag, deciding to ask Calum about it when they got back to the hotel. Just as she did so, footsteps were heard behind her and she swung around to see Calum himself. But this time, she looked at him differently. She didn't see her prince who didn't have a single flaw. Well, she did, but he was broken. This time she saw the bags under his eyes, she saw the slight redness in his warm brown eyes. And she felt her heart break.

She darted forward and gave him a tight hug, not caring that he still smelled of sweat. He laughed, seeming surprised by the sudden action, but hugged back nonetheless. When she pulled back, she realised that she still hadn't put away his bass. She quickly did so, buckling the case and handing it to him. Calum didn't hear the slight rattle of his pills and frowned, but covered it quickly with a smile.

He had remembered that the meds were in his case while changing, and his mind had been going haywire. What if she found them? What if she hates him? What if she will break up with him? What if, what if! He had been quick as possible to get back to her, and when she had hugged him like that, the warning bells were turned off. She didn't hate him.

They all got into the car to head back to the hotel, and Y/N kept a close eye on her boyfriend the entire time. She noticed how he hardly joined in on the other boys conversation, and when he did, his enthusiasm always sounded fake. The laughs he let out were not ever genuine, but they sounded so convincing. That made her wonder, how long had he been like this? For him to have perfected a fake smile and laugh? But she saw how the boys never questioned him. Did they know?

One part of her hoped they did, but another hoped that they did not. They should know because, well, they are closer to him than she is, they've basically lived with him for the past 5 years, Michael and Luke have even known him for over 10. But her other half hoped that they didn't as it wanted to believe that because she is his girlfriend, she is closer. That she should know before them. But that was completely unreasonable, and she knew it.

Also, they were acting as if nothing was wrong with Calum, like the last 6 months she had known all of them. They never took a second glance at him. At least not while she was there. Were they in on it? Was that why? Had Calum asked them not to tell her or give it away to her that he was how he was. That he wasn't happy with himself, with his life. Is that it?

They soon got back to the hotel, all five of them quickly heading upstairs to their rooms. As soon as Calum closed the hotel room door, Y/N pulled out the antidepressants.

"Calum?" She started, catching his attention. "What are these?"

"Antidepressants." He stated flatly, as if he knew that she had them already.

"Why do you have them?" Y/N asked in an accusing tone. It was a question Calum had expected, but he didn't want to answer it. So he stayed silent. "Calum? Why?" She repeated, trying to get an answer out of him to confirm her suspicions. Calum just shook his head, and sat on the bed, head in his hands. She sat beside him, chucking the pill bottle on the bed behind her. However, as soon as she sat bed, Calum got up, mumbled something about going to Michael's for the night, and left without another word.

When he walked into Michael's room, the boy was on the bed on Twitter, as usual. He glanced up at Calum's entrance, but didn't think too much of it. Calum flopped down on the spare bed and shoved his face in the pillow, not saying a word to Michael. That was what caught his attention most. Calum always talks to him, so he knows something is wrong if the boy is silent.

"Cal? You alright?" Michael asked quietly, his voice laced with genuine concern and worry for the younger lad.

"Nooooo." Calum whined, face still buried with his pillow.

"You wanna talk about it?" Michael asked.

"Nooo." Calum repeated and Michael didn't question it. He didn't want to press Calum as he didn't really feel like having an annoyed Calum on his hands. So, instead, Michael just turned over and went to sleep. When he was almost asleep, he heard Calum groan and it sounded like he punched something. That was normal angry-Calum behaviour. So he ignored it.

As soon as Calum knew that Michael was asleep, he let it free and began crying into his pillow. Why did she have to find out? What if she hates him? Is she going to break up with him? The thoughts swallowed Calum up and he ended up crying himself to sleep.

The next morning, the lads had an interview. Calum hoped to avoid Y/N that day but that plan failed when she took a seat in the car directly next to the boy. She tried to talk to him, but he wouldn't reply. He didn't want anymore confrontation. Once they got to the venue of the interview, she tried to speak to him, but he wouldn't answer. She kept trying, but was interrupted by a crew member calling him to the stage. She sighed, but let him go, deciding to talk to him after.

She made her way through the audience, to her reserved seat and tried to watch the interview. But she saw it in a way she never had before. This time, she saw how Calum hardly ever joined in, and realised that it wasn't because he was shy. She noticed how he would often go into spells where he would just stare into space, and how his eyes seemed lifeless.

It seemed like it took forever, but no more than 30 minutes later, the band was dismissed from the stage and she rushed around the back to find Calum. Y/N grabbed Calum's hand and tugged him into an unused dressing room. He tried to make a run for it but she locked the door.

"What the hell, Y/N!?" He shouted, trying to get around her to unlock the door and get out. But she held him back.

"I've been trying to talk to you since last night but you're ignoring me and I don't know why!" She told him, somewhat calmly. Calum stopped struggling and walked to the opposite corner of the room, hoping that if he ignored her, he would get out of this. "Calum stop trying to ignore me!" He shook his head. She repeated the same thing a few times and he finally gave in.

"What do you want?" He growled. She walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. She used the other hand to run her fingers through his hair.

"What's going on in here, Calum?" She asked, tapping Calum's head. He shrugged, trying to not show his emotions. But he couldn't prevent them. Tears began to well up in his eyes and he tried to blink them back. That failed, and one slipped down his cheek. He attempted to wipe it away before Y/N saw it, but that didn't work either. She did see it and her heart broke. She didn't want to hurt him, she just needed to know what was going on.

"Babe?" She asked, feeling guilty. Calum shook his head, covering his face with his hands as he let all the tears slip. He started full on sobbing. He felt arms curl around him and he took his hand from his eyes, wrapping his arms around her and opting to cry into her shoulder. His cries wracked his crest as she held him, she felt all the vibrations. They stood there for a good 15 minutes, her holding him as he cried.

She'd never seen him this vulnerable. It wasn't something she had ever associated with him, vulnerability. He was always the strong one, the one that had held her when she had broke down. Which she had done multiple times in the time that they had been together. She was glad he had been there for her. Now it was her turn to repay the deed.

"Babe?" She asked, breaking the silence. Calum shook his head in her shoulder, telling her that he didn't want to talk yet. "Cal, I need to talk to you."

She could feel his sigh as he lifted his head up to look at her. She smiled at him, with his bloodshot eyes and snot running from his nose. He weakly smiled back as she kissed his cheek, only sending him love.

"I love you, Calum. You need to realise that. There is no reason for you to be afraid of me. I am here for you. You don't have to hide from me." She told him, truthfully. It was the truth, Calum knew it.

"Thank you." He whispered, placing a kiss on her cheek like she had done for him.

"Calum, I'm here for you. If you ever need to talk, if you ever need someone to just cuddle you, I am here for you. I am here and I will help you get through this. I will help you become you again. I will help you to learn to love yourself. I love you." She smiled at him and he smiled back.

"I love you too, Y/N. You are the best girlfriend I could ever ask for."