Marked on the calendar stuck to the fridge was 15th of April; the twelfth week of Denise's pregnancy, as well as their next appointment with their gynecologist. While she usually looked forward to her appointments, she was not looking forward to this one. She had no explanation for the feeling of uneasiness sitting at the back of her throat, she just knew it was affecting her whole being- mind, body, and soul. She struggled to eat, struggled to concentrate on the conversations at her own dinner table, struggled to write, and struggled to display excitement when her brother's 'Save the Date' card finally arrived in their mail. Denise wasn't sure if she was tired, or stressed, or simply displaying symptoms of pregnancy brain. For a few days now, she'd been feeling off, wary, and uncertain. Whatever it was that had rewired her system, she needed it fixed immediately. She wanted that feeling of angst gone before she and Chris headed to the clinic to check on their baby's progress. Seeing their baby and hearing its heartbeat was a moment to be savored, the last thing she wanted was to go into the appointment filled with dread.

Despite calling herself out for her unusual state of mind, Denise failed to snap herself out of it. Even after talking to Chris about it, who assured her whatever she was feeling was a result of stress and fatigue- she could still feel the venomous grip of her angst, clawing at her oesophagus. The day of her appointment, Chris found her standing in front of the mirror in their ensuite. The t-shirt she had on was bunched in her hand, her brows furrowed as she examined her small bump in the reflection. Her head tilted curiously as she smoothed her hand over her abdomen, facials contorted with an unreadable expression.

"It's normal for someone pregnant to not have a flat stomach, Denise." Chris teased, drawing her out of her thoughts. The gaze she had locked on herself fell onto Chris instead. His brows furrowed when she made no response. She lowered her t-shirt and turned around, tucking her hair behind her ear. "Hey," he caught her elbow as she tried to brush past him, "are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good." She forced a smile onto her face. "I'm just..." She trailed off, licking her dry lips as she ran her hand through her hair. "I don't know," she shook her head, chuckling with limited humor. "I don't know what's um- Never mind, it's nothing. It's nothing," she rambled. "I'm just having a weird moment, don't worry about it." She waved him off, pulling her arm out of his gentle grip. "What's um- are we leaving for the appointment?"

"What's going on with you?" He watched her with a worried frown as she stuffed her things into her purse. "Denise," he wrapped his hand around her elbow again, gently tugging at her so she'd turn around to meet his gaze. "Hey," he touched her cheek, brushing her soft skin with the pad of his thumb. "Talk to me, what's wrong? Are you feeling okay, are you coming down with something? You've been acting a little weird these past few days."

"I'm fine," she lied, wishing it was true. "I think I'm just tired, like you said. I feel- fine, I don't- I don't think I'm coming down with anything, I'm just-" She shrugged, feeling her eyes well with tears because she truly didn't know what was wrong with her. "I don't know, Chris. I honestly," she shook her head, "I don't know."

"Hey." He felt his heart ache as he wiped her tears. "It's okay," he enfolded her into a warm, comforting hug, and she quietly breathed him in. "I'm sure you're just tired too, growing a human being is not exactly an easy job. We're going to see Dr. Orwell in a while, I'm sure she can tell us what's going on with you. Don't worry," he whispered into her hair in a soothing tone, calming her slightly. "You're fine, everything's fine."

"Can you get your mom to come over and watch Jack for us?" She asked as she withdrew from Chris' touch. "I rather he not be at the appointment today, I'm just-" she ran both hands through her hair, sighing. "I'm too tired to deal with all his questions today. I just want to go to the appointment, get it over and done with, then come home so I can take a nap. I can feel a headache brewing and- I just want to be asleep before it reaches its peak."

"Yeah, I'll call her. I'm sure she'll be happy to come over and watch Jack for us," he told her with a nod. He couldn't help his contorted expression of concern as he watched her massage her temples, pacing and taking deep breaths as she did. He really hoped Dr. Orwell had a remedy for whatever she was going through because he was tired of seeing her suffer. He gave her hand a quick squeeze before exiting their bedroom to make the call downstairs.

• • • • • • • •

Denise's gaze trailed across the examination room as she laid on the table waiting, it landed on the large clock where time had ticked over to 2:42PM. It was okay Dr. Orwell was running a little late today because Chris was still trying to find a parking spot, apparently Saturday was a busy day for the clinic.

Denise adjusted her position for the fourth time in twelve minutes. That uneasy feeling she had in the back of her throat had now taken over her whole body. Her mouth was dry and she felt as though she might throw up. Was it nerves? It didn't make any sense, she'd been feeling like this for a few days now. Perhaps she was coming down with something? That salad she ate on Thursday did look a little funky, maybe it was her lunch that day that started this whole ordeal. She cleared her throat then swallowed, turning her attention to the door. She wanted for Chris to walk in. She needed him to walk in before Dr. Orwell did because she did not want to do a second of the appointment alone.

The door clicked open and Denise's heart skipped a beat thinking it was Chris, she sighed when she realized it was just Charlie, the nurse turned friend, checking in on her. "Hey, Denise. Just letting you know that Dr. Orwell is-" She cut herself off when she saw how pale Denise looked. "Are you okay?" She asked, her eyes narrowed with concern as she sat down in the empty chair next to the table. "Do you need something? You are looking very pale."

"I don't know, I think um- I think I'm nervous. I just need Chris, has he found a park yet?" She swallowed as she sat up, taking slow deep breaths. She saw Charlie shook her head in response to her question and she let out a long exhale. "I feel like I'm going to throw up and- God, look," she held out her hands for Charlie to see, "my hands are all cold and clammy. I don't know why, I'm just really nervous."

"I don't think it's nerves, I think you're just overwhelmed by excitement." Charlie patted Denise's knee with a reassuring smile. "You're pregnant with baby number two. I mean- that is so exciting, it's a big milestone." Denise's lips quirked into a smile; the color in her face slowly returned and the urge to throw up dissipated. It was nice to have a distraction, even if it was just for a brief moment. "You're just excited, trust me. I've seen a lot of moms come and go, it's normal to get a little overwhelmed every now and then. You're bringing life into the world, it's a big deal."

"You are always so reassuring, I'm surprised you're not a mom yet." Denise said and Charlie laughed. "I know twenty-five feels very young, but it's really not. You said five years with a guy, you and Alex have been together for four and a half. Is marriage in sight?"

"It's not really up to me to decide, is it?"

"Somehow I feel like it is, I've seen the way Alex looks at you- that man is very ready to marry you." Denise told her then chuckled when she saw the young nurse blush. "I'm sure if you start hinting that you're ready, he'd drop to his knees so quickly you'd have a dent in your floorboard."

"That's a bit dramatic."

"Yet it is extremely true," Denise quipped.

The door clicked open again and the ladies looked up as Chris poked his head in. He let out a sigh of relief when he saw the doctor wasn't in yet, and that Charlie was in there distracting his wife from her angst. She didn't look all that happy, or at ease when he'd sent her in alone earlier- even if he was coming in after her just a few minutes behind. "Sorry, I had to park down the street and walk. There is no parking space in the lot, you guys really need to expand."

"So we've been told," Charlie chuckled.

"It's fine, Dr. Orwell's running a little late anyway." Denise shook her head with a smile he easily reciprocated as he entered the room, closing the door behind him. Chris was incredibly grateful Charlie had taken the time to come in and check on Denise. Whatever they were talking about before he walked in had eased, or distracted her enough to bring a genuine smile onto her face. For a second, he was worried she'd lost her ability to produce one.

"Thank you for keeping her company." Chris told Charlie, patting her shoulder. "For the record, you'll be one of the reasons our daughter is named 'Charlotte'," he said and Denise nodded in agreement. Of all the nurses she'd had, Charlie was truly her godsend- it was why they'd befriended her, and why they'd been on double dates with her and her boyfriend.

"Of course, I am always happy to keep Denise company." Charlie rose to her feet so Chris could sit. "And for the record, I am honored. To have Hollywood's favorite couple name their baby 'Charlotte' because of little ol' me?" She joked and the couple laughed. "Now I am going to pray for all our sakes that the baby is a girl."

"Please do," Chris chuckled, taking Denise's hand in his.

The door clicked open for the third time and Dr. Orwell entered the room. Charlie saw this as her cue to exit and wait outside so the couple could have some privacy with their doctor. Denise and Chris both mouthed a "thank you" to Charlie as she quietly slipped out.

"Let's have a look at your baby, shall we?"

Denise laid back down on the table, lifting her t-shirt with the hand that wasn't interlocked with Chris'. She ignored the return of her uneasy feeling and shared a smile with Chris as Dr. Orwell squeezed the cold Aquasonic gel on her belly. She felt her heartbeat increase in its speed and she quickly thought back to what Charlie said about it not being nerves but excitement instead. She knew Charlie was wrong when she tensed the second Dr. Orwell pressed the transducer against her belly.

"You're getting goosebumps," Chris said softly, running his other hand up and down her forearm to generate some heat. "Is it the gel? Is that freezing?" He quizzed and she nodded, swallowing the uncomfortable feeling in the back of her throat. "We can go get something warm after to warm your belly and the baby, if you're feeling up for it. I know you said you wanted to go home and nap, but if you aren't too tired-"

"Can we grab some pumpkin soup from Empire State?"

"Of course, babe. We can get anything you want after this."

Denise tuned out before Chris had even finished his sentence, her focus was on her doctor's puzzled face. She turned to the monitor, wondering why she hadn't heard a heartbeat yet. She was worried. The fact that Dr. Orwell had just adjusted the transducer again as well as applied more pressure than she usually did worried Denise. She turned to Chris hoping she'd see one of his smiles and calm down, but he'd noticed the exact same thing she had and was now as worried as she was. He managed a smile when he met her gaze but she could tell he had angst too. One minute passed, then two. The silence was almost deafening in the room.

"Sometimes it's the machine," Dr. Orwell finally broke the silence. "This one's been playing up for a while, I'm going to go get Dr. Carson and I'll be right back. Don't worry, everything's going to be fine." The look on her face contradicted the content in her sentence. "Just give me a second, alright?" She said then hurried out of the room, Denise's blank stare fixated on the door that closed behind her.

"Hey," Chris squeezed Denise's hand, pulling her attention onto him. He managed a smile, ignoring the dull ache forming in his chest. "It's okay, I'm sure it's just the machine. It's the first time we're in this examination room, I'm sure if we were in our usual one- we'd be out of here by now."

"Yeah," she nodded in agreement, feeling her eyes well with tears. "I'm sure everything's fine too." She looked away from Chris as a tear rolled down her left cheek. "Um..." She wanted so badly to fill her mind with thoughts of something else, so she changed the subject. "What um- what did Josh want from you when he called the other day?"

"Oh, um." Chris realized it was a distraction Denise was looking for, but his anxiety had him struggling to find the words to offer one. "He uh- He called about a role, something- I don't- I don't remember what it is, I have to check the email he sent. But I don't think I want to do it, I'm sorta waiting to read the script you're working on. We said we wanted to work on something together, right? I mean-" He cut himself off when he realized what he was insinuating. She realized it too because another tear rolled down her cheek. "I think I'll re-read the email and then sleep on it," he said, running a hand over his beard.

"That's a good idea," she said then sniffled, letting out a quick breath. It was the machine, it had to be the machine. "Can we um-" her voice quivered and she cleared her throat, "can we pick up dinner from Empire State so we don't have to cook tonight? I don't-" a uncontrollable whimper escaped, "I don't think I want to cook tonight."

"Yeah we can do that."

The door opened and two doctors entered the room. Dr. Carson smiled at the couple whereas Dr. Orwell remained solemn. She stood by the door with her arms crossed over her chest, letting out a quiet breath. Denise tried hard not to cry when she saw her doctor's expression, she didn't need to hear it- she already knew.

"Denise, right?" Dr. Carson quizzed as he picked up the transducer. "I'm Dr. James Carson, I'm just going to have to look at your baby." Denise didn't trust her voice so she simply nodded, tightening her grip of Chris' hand. "This machine is a menace, I'm just going to give it a quick smack." Denise forced a smile at his weak attempt at a joke as he slapped the monitor. "Okay, that should've done it. Let's see, shall we?" He pressed the transducer against her belly, observing the monitor as he moved it left and right.

Denise couldn't look at the monitor so she looked at her husband instead, she had a smile on her face but she was uncontrollably weeping. Chris' eyes welled as he wrapped both his hands around hers, pressing a kiss on her supple skin. "It's okay," he whispered. The words "we can try again" went unsaid but it could be seen in his face. Denise immediately broke down crying, covering her face with the crook of her elbow. It was then that the doctors decided to just tell them the truth because there was simply no other alternative.

"I am very sorry, but there seems to be no heartbeat," Dr. Carson said, placing the transducer back down. "It is very hard to pinpoint the reason for a miscarriage, sometimes things just happen and we can't explain why. But you are very young, Denise, and you can try again." He told her then turned to Chris, "we'll give you some time and then you can come outside and we'll make some arrangements. The baby is twelve weeks so unfortunately-"

"Can you give us some time?" Chris cut him off with a tight jaw.

"Of course," Dr. Carson quickly nodded as he exited the room with Dr. Orwell.

Chris grabbed the box of tissues, gently wiping the Aquasonic gel from Denise's belly. He, too, wanted to break down and cry but he knew he needed to remain strong for her. He pulled her shirt back down, his heart ached as his hand brushed her lifeless small bump. He rose to his feet and gently pulled her arm away from her face, brushing her tears away with his palm. "I'm sorry, sweetheart," he whispered. "I'm really, really sorry." He helped her into a sitting position then hugged her tightly, crying softly into her hair.

"I should've come in earlier," she choked out. "I knew something was wrong, I knew something was wrong, Chris." She sobbed into his chest. He shook his head, running his hand up and down her back. "I should've come in earlier, this is my fault." His shattered heart was obliterated when he heard her say, "I killed our baby, Chris, I killed our baby."