Teach me wrong from right

And I'll show you what I can be

Say it for me, say it to me

And I'll leave this life behind me

Say it if it's worth saving me

~~~

"What if she doesn't like me?" Brendon stood at the mirror brushing his hands over his plain grey shirt. Ryan cam up behind him and wrapped his arms around the other's waist. He rested his head on Brendon's shoulder, smiling at the frantic man in the mirror.

"She's gonna love you." Ryan gave him a peck on the cheek. "Just not as much as I do."

Brendon smiled and shook his head. "I'm serious." He locked eyes with Ryan's reflection.

"I am too."

Brendon brushed Ryan off him with a dramatic sigh and a shrug of his shoulder. He turned and made his way over to the bed. He plopped down on the mattress and stared down at his hands. "I don't know why he didn't tell me about her sooner."

Ryan took the spot next to him and placed a hand on his knee. "I'm sure he has his reasons. Don't think about it too much. He's introducing you to her now. Let's finish getting ready. I think the food will be ready soon and I can hear Spencer pacing down the hall."

Brendon took a deep breath and nodded. "Right." He nodded again. "You're right."

"C'mon." Ryan stood up and held his hand out. Brendon took it and was pulled to his feet.

"Okay. I'm just going to change change my shirt quick."

Ryan rolled his eyes but didn't argue. He leaned forward and planted a kiss on Brendon's forehead. "Don't be too long. Okay."

Brendon nodded, signally Ryan to leave. The man left the room, leaving Brendon alone. He pulled off his shirt, changing into a blue button down.

He stood in front of the mirror again, watching his fingers work through each button. HIs hands shook slightly from nerves. For a split second, his vision blurred and his body gave an involuntary sway. He shook his head and blinked his eyes several times to clear up his view. Brendon frowned, giving his head one more shake before finishing up his buttons.

Brushing the front of his shirt, he gave himself one more once over before moving to the door. He placed his hand on the handle and took a deep breath. He pulled the door open and stepped out of the room.

~~~

She was really pretty, wavy blonde hair, soft kind eyes. Brendon wondered if Spencer knew about the glances she would steal of him or the little private smiles she's have after. Spencer on the other hand was not as sly as her.

He'd throw her constant smiles and reach his hand under the table to grab hers. They were crazy for each other, that much was obvious.

"We're sorry we didn't tell you sooner," Linda said with an apologetic smile. "It just didn't feel like the right time to tell people and Spencer told me everything you're going through. I didn't want to throw on all this extra information."

"It's okay. I'm just glad to get to meet Spencer's not so new girlfriend."

"Where'd you two meet?" Ryan chimed in.

"At the grocery store. He and I both reached for the last box of double stuffed Oreos." The night went on with the couples exchanging stories.

The night began to come to a close with the couples sprawled out on the couches cuddling with their significant others. The movie they'd put on was soon rolling the credits.

"Man, I could go for a beer," Brendon spoke up.

Ryan kissed him on top of the head and gave him a squeeze. "You know you shouldn't have alcohol."

"I know," Brendon pouted. "Have one for me?"

Ryan chuckled and got off the couch. "Do you two want one?" He asked the other two.

"No thanks. I'm more of a special occasion drinker and Spencer doesn't drink."

Brendon laughed from his spot on the couch. "What do you mean? Spencer is alway down for a beer. Buying him drinks was the only way I could get him to go to the clubs with me."

Spencer and Linda exchanged a quick look.

Ryan glanced over at Spencer with a raised eyebrow. "So, no drink?"

Spencer shook his head and kept his gaze low.

"Ryan brought Corona," Brendon chirped. "You sure? I know that's your favorite."

Spencer shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He locked his hands together and began rubbing one thumb over the other. "Maybe one --"

"He's okay," Linda interrupted.

Brendon sat up and frowned. "Spence," he said to get his friends attention. He noticed that Spencer began bouncing a knee, avoiding eye contact.

"So Brendon, how's treatment going?" Linda tried to change the subject.

Brendon ignored here, eyes trained on Spencer. He didn't understand the mood change or why Linda was pushing for his friend not to drink. "Spence," he said again.

Spencer looked up at Brendon then glanced over at Linda before dropping his gaze again.

"You okay man?" Ryan asked, abandoning the idea of alcohol.

There was no response for a sold minute before Linda spoke up again. "He's 30 days sober. You shouldn't be tempting him."

"What?" Brendon quirked his brows in confusion.

"He's in AA."

All of Spencer's movements halted. His eyes went wide and there was a soft gasp that slipped passed his lips.

"But he doesn't have a drinking problem," Brendon said with a chuckle of disbelief. "Right?" He turned his gaze over to Spencer who was now trembling at the revealed secret. "Spence?"

"Bren," Ryan interrupted.

Brendon shook his head and slowly stood up. "You have a drinking problem."

Spencer didn't move, too ashamed with himself to look up at his best friend.

"But why? I-I don't understand."

"This has all been hard on him," Linda all but gestured at Brendon, referring to his condition. "But we're finding better ways to cope."

Brendon ran his hand through his hair. "What do you..," he trailed off, the words sinking in. "You mean... I-" He let out a heavy breath.

"Brendon," Ryan said again, now standing at his boyfriend's side. "You should sit down."

"I... did this."

"Babe, breath. You're pale." Ryan placed a hand on the small of Brendon's back. Brendon hadn't realized he'd been swaying until Ryan steadied him.

"I," Brendon repeated.

The dinner in his stomach began making him feel uneasy. He could already feel the burn at the back of his through. He felt a sudden chill run through his body.

"I gotta use the bathroom." Brendon rushed down the hall to his restroom.

"Bren," Ryan called after him.

Brendon slammed the door and locked it behind him before rushing over into his familiar position over the toilet. He heaved into the bowl, emptying his stomach.

Between each hurl, the words repeated in his mind, guilt digging deeper and deeper into his skin. It was his fault. He'd driven his best friend into becoming and alcoholic. All those time he'd pushed Spencer into drinking with him. It was all his fault. He kneeled on the bathroom floor, ignoring the knocks at the door and wallowed in his own guilt.

---

A/N:

Sorry is there's a lot of spelling errors (actually more than usual), I got home from work and wanted to update but didn't have the energy to do anything else after typing out the chapter. Here you go though! Hope you enjoy it!!