I missed your skin when you were east

You clicked your heels and wished for me

~~~

The next time Ryan opened his eyes, he wasn't in his car anymore. He wasn't sure where he was actually. There wasn't much around him, only tall grass and a tree not too far away. The sky was a light pink as if the sun were setting, but there was no sun in sight.

"Ryan!" He looked back over at the tree, seeing a figure coming out from behind it. He squinted his eyes at the stranger before letting out a gasp. The next thing he knew, he was sprinting through the grass, forging a path to the tree. He reached an inner circle with short manicured grass surrounding the base of the tree. He pulled the other into his arms, squeezing tightly.

"Ugh... Ryan... that hurts." Ryan didn't care. He buried his face in the other's neck, basking in the warmth and scent. "Ryan," another grunt.

Ryan pulled away and grasped the side's of the man's face. He could feel the plumpness in his cheeks. His eyes sparkled even without direct light hitting them. A pink tint dusted over his face. Ryan let out a hiccup while tears sprang from his eyes.

"Brendon? Is it really you?" His vision was beyond blurry but he'd never forget the feeling of that smooth skin against his fingers. The voice played like a melody from his favorite song in his head. "You're here. You're really here." He connected their lips, desperate for the touch he was starved from. "I missed you," he murmured into the other's mouth. "I missed you so much."

One arm wrapped around Brendon's shoulder and the other slid into his hair, gripping his roots. After a moment, realization hit him. He slowly peeled himself off his boyfriend, but just far enough to see his face and talk.

"Wait. You're here. H-how are you here?" Brendon took his hand and pulled them over to the base of the tree. Ryan followed sitting down when Brendon did. Ryan kept his hand locked with Brendon's. Neither spoke at first, Ryan was just waiting for an explanation. Brendon let out a sigh and looked over at Ryan.

"You were in a car accident. A deer jumped out onto the road and you swerved so you wouldn't hit it." Ryan shook his head, not remembering this. "It wouldn't have been bad if hasn't been going so fast. What were you thinking, Ry?"

Ryan frowned. His mind was blurred from the accident but he knew one thing, Brendon was on his mind. Brendon was always on his mind. He couldn't stop it and now look where it got him. He squeezed Brendon's hand. There was nothing he could do now.

"Okay. Now what do we do? Move on?"

Brendon snapped his head up. "What?"

Ryan shrugged and chuckled softly. "It doesn't matter anymore. We're together again. so we can go wherever you've been these past years."

Brendon pulled his hand away and turned his body to Ryan. "Babe... it's not your time."

Ryan shook his head confused. "What do you mean? I'm here with you. I was in an accident. I'm dead! Right?" He didn't want to see it, not on Brendon's face. That sad smile failing at masking his sorrow. The tears lining his brown eyes.

"We can't be together. Not yet. It's too soon," he spoke in a soft voice. Ryan leaned away a bit.

"Too s-" He let out a laugh. "Too soon? Are you fucking kidding me? Do you understand what I have to go through each day? It feel like I'm suffocating every minute you're not by my side. It feels like years have past when in all reality, it's only been a day. I-I can't keep doing this, Brendon."

"I'm sorry," Brendon cried. "This wasn't supposed to happen."

Ryan stood up, needing a way to let off steam. He jerked his head around, despising the serenity of this place, this hell. All it did was mock him with the one thing he couldn't have.

"Where are we? Why are we here?"

Brendon stayed seated, looking up at the broken man. "They wanted me to talk to you," he whispered.

"They? Who's they? Talk about what?"

"You're sleeping, Ry." Brendon looked down at his lap. "They want you to wake up. It's not supposed to end for you yet."

"So you expect me to just go back. Go back and continue to be miserable by myself. Is that what you want?"

"Of course not! I don't want any of this. I want things to be simple. I want to be with you but I can't. That's not how things work now."

"I'm tired, Brendon. I want this to be over. I want to stop hurting. I can't live without you being there with me."

"But you need to. I want you to keep living. I want you to get over me. I want you to be happy again, to find love and live a full life like you're supposed to." Brendon had gotten to his feet, pleading his wishes.

"You can't do that. That's not fair. You can't keep wanting things from me and expect me to be okay with all of it. 'Get over you'? You think I could do that? Cause I can't."

"Ryan, please."

"You're selfish!" Ryan let out a heavy breath. "You're so selfish and it's hurting me." Brendon let out a sob as he took a step toward Ryan. The man reflexively moved back.

"When you get back, tell Spence I miss him, okay," Brendon said with a shaky smile and tears smeared over his cheeks.

"No."

"You've got to move on, live your life." Brendon took a step forward, bigger than Ryan's step back.

"No." Step.

"I'll be here waiting when it's time, okay?" Step.

"No!" Step.

"I love you."

Before Ryan could respond, Brendon shoved him back, making Ryan fall. He was surprised when he didn't hit the ground. His body continued falling down a dark hole. Brendon's figure grew distant until he disappear along with the tree. Everything slowly faded away into black.

He didn't fall for long before he landed against something firm. He let out a groan from the impact. His eyes were squeezed shut, pain shooting through his upper body. His head was buzzing with a dull ache.

The space around him was suddenly noisy. Footsteps rushed beside him. Another familiar voice broke through the darkness followed by a stranger.

"I'm telling you, he moved. His body jumped and he groaned."

"Ryan? Can you hear me?" Ryan forced his eyes open, squinting at the light flooding the room. He saw a man standing over him in a white coat and stethoscope around his neck. "Welcome back, Dr. Ross."