Brendon stood in front of the mirror, hands braced on the counter for support. He leaned in close to the reflection, grimacing at his sunken cheeks and heavy bags. He brought a hand up and pinched at his cheek in hopes to get some color back to his face. His eyes traveled down, first noticing how his shirt hung off one shoulder, exposing the outline of his collarbone.

He lifted the hem of the shirt, letting his fingers slide over his protruding ribs. He forced himself to not keep inspecting, knowing it'll only pain him more to do so. He could guess how bad it'd look by how much he needed to tighten the strings on his sweats to keep them from falling.

The fact that this was the first time he was home alone in so long and he locked himself in the bathroom to look at himself just made him feel all the more pathetic. He let himself sink to the floor and leaned his head back on the counter. He should probably get back to bed before Ryan came back. There was no doubt in his mind that the man would flip his shit if he didn't find Brendon where he left him.

"Hey, B. I'm back!" Well speak of the devil. He heard the man's footsteps coming down the hallway and slowly got to his feet preparing for the overreaction. "Babe?" A short pause. "Babe?" Brendon almost laughed thinking about how he knew this reaction would come.

"Brendon, where are you," the man called out. There was a frantic knock at the door. "Bren? Are you in there? Open up." Brendon chuckled when the door knob jiggled and the knocking intensified. "Are you okay? Say something!" Brendon started getting up but had to stop after a few steps and shut his eyes until the room stopped spinning.

"C'mon babe. I'm gonna break the door down if you don't answer." When Brendon reached the door, there was a thump on the wood followed by a groan. Brendon unlocked the door and pulled it open, causing Ryan to stumble forward. Ryan straightened up and gripped Brendon's arms, inspecting his body for any damage.

"Are you okay? Why didn't you say anything? Why'd you lock the door?" Brendon only sighed, not bothering to answer any questions.

"Is your arm okay? That sounded like a nasty hit." Ryan let out a nervous chuckle and moved his hand to the arm he hit.

"It wasn't bad. But I wouldn't like to go against the door again. I didn't need my pride wounded any more." Brendon smiled and leaned into Ryan's arms. Ryan immediately held onto him tightly. "What were you doing?" Brendon muzzle his face into the nape of Ryan's neck.

"Nothing. Just didn't want to be in bed anymore." Ryan nodded, knowing Brendon was struggling with his difficulty to move around as much. "Can we do something? I want to get out of this apartment." Ryan thought about it for a second, taking Brendon's condition from earlier into consideration.

"Nothing too big," Brendon added. His voice was softer, almost as if he were already tired. "Maybe a walk around the block or to the store. I just don't want to be here right now." Ryan let out a soft sigh and nodded.

"Do you want to change?" Brendon shook his head as he pulled away from Ryan to go get his shoes. The couple were soon out the door and walking down the street. Brendon was holding onto Ryan's arm and casually leaning against him.

Ryan looked over at Brendon from time to time. The man's cracked lips and pale complexion was more pronounced under the mid day sun. Even with those features so apparent now, it was hard to ignore the bright smile that managed to shine through his suffering.

His eyes sparkled with wonder at the everyday objects that he'd missed out on during his isolation. Ryan heard him let out an innocent giggle at the shaggy mop of a dog trotting passed them. They made it a few blocks before Brendon pulled them to a stop.

"What's wrong?" Was Ryan's first natural response. Brendon motioned to a small building wedged between two larger businesses.

"It's a bakery," Brendon commented. He looked up at Ryan with wide doe eyes. "Can we go?" Of course not being able to deny Brendon in any way, Ryan led them to the entrance. When they got in, they were engulfed in the sweet aroma of freshly baked bread. A little bell rang over the heads, cueing an employee to come out of the back room. They were a middle-aged woman, hair up in a bun and flour caked on the front of her apron.

"Welcome. What can I get you?" They walked up to the case of pastries. Brendon's mouth dropped in awe at the wide section.

"We're not sure. We've never been here before."

"Oh well. Then in that case, the apple and cherry danishes are our most popular. My personal favorite is the cream cheese filled muffin. Our standard French bread is also good with a nice spread." Ryan looked over at Brendon again, but he was too lost in staring at the display of pies. Ryan let out a small chuckle then turned back to the woman.

"Could I please get have two of the cream cheese muffins, cherry danishes and a slice of whatever pie he's got his eye on over there," Ryan finished with a smile directed at his boyfriend. She gave a smile and nodded before packing up their choices.

As Ryan was paying, Brendon wandered his way back to Ryan's side. The couple took the bags and made their way back to the main street. They made it a block before Brendon had already opened a random bag and was tasting one of the danishes.

"Good?" Brendon nodded enthusiastically.

"Mmhm." Ryan found them an empty bench for them to rest and try their goodies together. When Brendon was finished with his half, he had crumbs around his mouth. Ryan chuckled at the sight and brushed them away with his thumb.

Brendon's eyes were trained on him as Ryan licked the excess crumbs off his finger. The pair sat on the bench a little longer before Brendon asked to go home. Ryan noticed how much slower they were moving. Brendon would occasionally trip over the uneven cement. He was leaning heavily on Ryan for support. His eyes drooped, fighting to stay open.

"You alright?" Brendon nodded lazily, the simple movement taking more effort than he had. It wasn't until they were back at the apartment waiting for the elevator that Ryan realized how bad Brendon's legs were shaking. He offered to carry him, but the stubborn man refused. The ride up to his floor was filled with the labored breaths Brendon let out. He wasn't able to keep his eyes open any longer.

They barely made it through their front door before he collapsed into Ryan's arms. They both sunk to the floor, Ryan making sure to hold him against his chest. Brendon clenched onto the front of his shirt, dampening the fabric with his tears. Ryan cried how own silent tears, a terrible feeling nestling its way into his gut telling him that this was more than just exhaustion.

He ran his fingers through the smaller man's hair, listening to the sobs fill his head. He began praying to a God he didn't even believe in to fix this. Just like any other time he'd called for help, there was no response, leaving him alone and enduring the pain.

~~~

A/N:

Sorry I haven't been able to update. School is already kicking my ass 🙄 I have been able to writing a couple chapters in advance at work so when I do get time, I'll try to update again. Thanks for reading!