(one week later)

"Ryan, I'm fine," Brendon groaned.

"You're barely over your cold. You are not fine. Stop trying to overwork yourself." Brendon frowned and crossed his arms.

"I knew you'd treat me differently once you knew," he grumbled to himself. Ryan rolled his eyes and carried the tray of food over to Brendon's bed.

"Shut up. I'm a doctor. I would've done the same thing either way." Brendon continued to pout as he stared down at the same bowl of soup he'd been getting every day. "Now, quit pouting."

"Hmph." Brendon turned the other way as a sign of protest to his meal.

"I don't care how long you act that way. No chicken nuggets."

"But why? I'm feeling so much better." Ryan smiled and shook his head. He sat on the bed and kissed the side of Brendon's head. He circled his arm around the other's waist, giving the man a gentle squeeze. He forced himself to keep from wincing after feeling how much weight Brendon was losing. He shut his eyes and pressed his forehead in Brendon's shoulder.

Thoughts about Brendon's condition filled his head. He was respecting Brendon's wishes, but he wanted to help in the smallest ways he could and if that meant making sure the stubborn bastard would eat something good for him, then that's what he would do it.

"Please love." 'for me,' he wanted to add but didn't want to push it. Brendon watched Ryan, feeling guilty for being difficult. He shrugged his shoulder so Ryan would look up at him. He stole a quick kiss and let the corner of his lip pull up in a small smile.

"Thank you babe." Without anymore fuss, Brendon ate his soup, going faster than Ryan would've wanted. As part of their nightly routine, when Brendon's food settled, Ryan helped him wash up.

"You know, I can do this myself." Ryan smiled at the boy sitting between legs.

"And risk you hurting yourself? I don't think so." Ryan wrapped his arms around Brendon's body, holding him securely against his chest. "Plus, it's more time I get to hold you." Brendon let out a soft giggle when Ryan planted a gentle kiss on his neck. "I love you," he whispered into the other's skin.

"I love you too." Brendon couldn't stop his smile when he felt Ryan grinning against him. Ryan pulled away, leaving Brendon's back cold and exposed.

"Okay, head back," Ryan said while he grabbed a contain and dunked it under the water filling the tub. Brendon did as he was told and shut his eyes before Ryan dumped the water from the container onto his hair. When his hair was wet enough, Ryan pour shampoo into his hand and started massaging it into Brendon's head. Ryan's heart warmed at the sound of Brendon unintentionally humming at the feeling.

After rinsing the shampoo from his hair and washing the rest of his body, Brendon sat back on Ryan and let himself be held. Brendon had his arm over Ryan's, fingers sliding over Ryan's skin. The room was silent apart from the water any time one of them moved a bit. Occasionally Ryan would lean to Brendon's ear, whispering sweet nothings and getting a small giggle in response.

"We should do something," Brendon suggested out of the blue.

"What did you have in mind?"

"I don't know. Something fun and exciting." There was a small pause before Brendon turned around unexpectedly with a wide smile on. "Like an amusement park!" His spirits immediately sank when he saw Ryan frown at the suggestion.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not?" Ryan looked away for a moment. Did he really want him to say it? He turned back and opened his mouth, hoping a good explanation would come out.

"B," was all that managed to come out.

"Oh." Brendon turned back around, slumping against his boyfriend.

"I'm sorry babe."

"It's fine." There was another silent that left the two uncomfortable. "We're done right?"

"What?"

"I think I'm gonna go to sleep. I'm pretty tired." With that, Brendon started to stand.

"Stay in a little longer." Ryan sat up as Brendon shakily brought a leg over the edge of the tub. He didn't care about the water spilling on the floor as he got out. "At least let me help you." Brendon was depending heavily on the wall and still looked like he could fall at any moment.

"I'm fine. I can do it on my own."

"Don't be like that. Let me help." Brendon shot Ryan a glare when the man moved to get out of the water. Ryan had to watch helplessly as Brendon moved like a baby deer walking for the first time. He had to lean against the wall as he wrapped a towel loosely around his waist.

Ryan's eyes followed the trail of puddles that disappeared out of the bathroom. He sat back against the tub and rubbed his hands over his face with a sigh. It's not like Ryan didn't have a reason to worry. Brendon was being unreasonable and pushing himself more than he can handle. What if he just forced Brendon to accept the help? Would that help?

Ryan jolt up in the tub when he heard a loud crash in the next room. He hurried out of the bath, not carrying about the amount of water that made it onto the floor in the process. He barely grabbed a towel to cover himself as he ran to where the sound came from. Right away, he saw Brendon sitting against the closet door with a towel over his lap. The rack that was normally hanging in the closet was now on the floor along with all the clothes it was holding.

Ryan went over to Brendon and kneeled in front of him. Brendon looked up for a second, revealing the defeat written all over his face before dropping his gaze to his lap.

"What happened?" Ryan made sure to keep his voice soft and free of the panic he had earlier in hopes it would help Brendon not feel worse.

"I was trying to get a shirt but I... I dizzy and grabbed and.." Brendon let out a tired sigh. Ryan stood up and securely fastened his towel around his waist. He squatted down beside his boyfriend and gingerly picked him up, making sure his towel stayed over his lap. Despite his attitude earlier, Brendon didn't protest when he was carried and even wrapped his arms around the other and buried his face in Ryan's neck.

Neither said another word as Ryan gently set him down at the edge of the bed. He went over to the closet and pulled a random shirt from the pile. He grabbed a pair of boxers before going back to Brendon and helping him into the clothes. Ryan dried his hair and let the man lay down under the covers.

Ryan got himself dressed before joining behind Brendon. He pulled the man against him, letting his body provide warmth to the other. He kissed the back of Brendon's head, not able to think of anything else to lighten the situation.

Ever since the secret was out, the couple seemed to be bumping heads more often. Brendon wanted to be as free willed as he'd always been, going against Ryan's advise to the best of his ability. There was this sudden divide between them and it pained Ryan to see how distant they'd become.

He unconsciously tightened his grip on his boyfriend when the thought that he'd lose him for another reason came to him. Brendon let out a grunt from discomfort. Ryan immediately let go and pulled away.

"Sorry," he hastily let out. He watched Brendon's tense body relax after a moment. Too worried to hurt him again, Ryan rolled onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Brendon's body was becoming more fragile with each day that passed and he didn't know how to handle it.

He wasn't sure how much time had gone by but he was sure Brendon was asleep at this point. He climbed out of the bed and went to the kitchen to get a drink of water. After, he stayed out in the living room, trying to sort through his thoughts wishing the bad ones to disappear. He laid on the couch, not planning to go back to the room until he calmed down.

"I'm sorry," a soft voice whispered. Ryan sat up and turned to see Brendon standing not far from him with a thin blanket around his shoulders.

"Brendon, you should be asleep," Ryan rushed out. He didn't want Brendon to be walking around if he could help it. "Come let. Let's get you back to bed." He got up, prepared to lead Brendon back to the room.

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "I know you just want what's best for me. I keep wanting to hold onto the life I had before, but I can't." Ryan reached out and grabbed the sides of Brendon's face, caressing his cheek.

"It's okay baby." Brendon leaned into the touch. He shut his eyes, causing a single tear to slide out and hit Ryan's hand.

"It's not okay. Instead of acting like a brat. I should appreciate the time we spend together no matter what we're doing." Ryan sighed and moved a hand to the small of Brendon's back, guiding him to the room and into bed. Brendon moved into Ryan's arms when the covers were pulled over them. Ryan held him close, keeping his touch gentle to make sure he didn't hurt his lover.

"I love you, B." Brendon pressed his face into Ryan's chest.

"I love you too." Ryan watched the small man slowly fall asleep safely in his arms. He took note of the soft puffs of air Brendon let out and the thin line of drool coming out the corner of his mouth. Ryan committed the small hums he let out occasionally to memory, ready to put it on repeat whenever he wanted. This is all he could do now, focus on remembering ever little detail of Brendon to hold onto the rest of life.