"There is one thing you could do." Jesse pushed himself up from the bed, walking over to where I kept all the supplies. His hands reached for certain items piling them up as I pushed myself up from the bed slowly.

Our break hadn't lasted long, all but two minutes of the two of us lying on our backs- our eyes admiring the night sky with eyes of wonder. I could feel the arms of sleep pulling me under, my mind completely free from the grip of worry for a brief second. But that didn't last, Jesse's sudden move had jolted me out of that state.

"What would that be?" I watched as he turned back towards me, his arms full of supplies with his chin holding it all in his arms.

I immediately jumped up, pulling it from his arms as I could feel concern radiating from me. My eyes met his with questions and curiosity, but he just ignored me- sitting back down on the bed as if nothing had happened.

My hands searched everything that I had taken from him; alcohol, rags, a bunch of the healing herbs and my sewing kit. At the sight of that, it all made sense.

"Your side, I saw it in the clearing." My mind spoke aloud as it spoke to itself, my words coming out in a breath. For only a millisecond I froze, my mind not telling me what to do.

But that didn't last very long, my body rushed forward to sit on the stump in front of him. We had been in this position before but today the roles were reversed.

He had already reached for his shirt and raised it, exposing the puckered up and pus covered wound I had seen earlier that day. As soon as I inspected it further I released a breath of relief, this would be an easy fix.

I dragged my gaze up to his; I could feel the hope in my eyes settle him- calming him almost immediately. His body relaxed, releasing from the tensed state he had been in moments before.

His eyes told me he had been worried it was bad; that he hadn't kept this to him self out of fear. I watched as his lips emit a small breath, my own lips replicating that action.

"Did I scare you Dru?" He commented on my obvious reprieve. His eyes shining with amusement down at mine. I ground my back teeth together, stopping myself from biting back at the boy.

Ignoring him, I got to work on his side. I dabbed the skin around it carefully, careful not to touch his skin with my own. I could feel myself itching to snap back at him- to not let him have the last word.

I had almost forgotten the anger he stirred up within me. I hadn't missed it, the knot deep in my stomach that churned when he spoke, the way I felt like I wasn't in control of my own actions any more.

In the mess of trying to find him, worrying about his life I had forgotten that there was more to Jesse than the boy who helped me keep people alive. He was still the boy who hated me guts, hated me for not being able to save everyone.

I know that when he said the crash wasn't my fault he meant it, when he said he trusted me and needed me he meant it. I knew all too well, because I felt the same way.

I know that he had forgiven me, tried to lighten to load on my shoulders. But I also knew that Jesse was also the boy whose sister I killed, the boy who wanted to keep everyone alive just as much as I did and so far only one of us was failing. Even if he thought he had forgiven me, I could never accept such forgiveness- because our clear bond was obviously clouding his judgement.

I moved on to the sewing kit, threading the thread threw the tiny hole of the needle. I didn't look up to see Jesse, but I could feel his hesitation radiating off his body. His lower abdominals had tensed up, as had his arms- I could see the veins bolded as his fingers clung to the bed.

"You need to relax for this," My hand moved to his side, palm open and spread over his skin. I don't know what possessed me to reach out but as soon as my cool hand met his warm skin I felt his body melt at the touch.

All of the tensed muscles were released, but he did flinch under my touch. Despite his body relaxing I could feel the sharp inhale that had resulted from my action.

I didn't withdraw my hand immediately; I needed to use it to hold up some of his skin to give me better access for stitches. But I couldn't ignore the odd buzz that had taken over the air.

I unhurriedly brought my eyes up, leaving my head facing down. This meant that I was looking up through my lashes, my eyes unsure of what they were going to find on his features.

He looked just as confused as I was, his features slightly screwed up as his eyes buffed with questions. The air grew thick as the two of us sat there wordlessly with no effort to change the situation.

Our breaths mixed in the air, our eyes unable to find answers from one another. It was like we were in a trance, that our my hand on his bare skin had brought such a swirl of foreign emotions that our bodies didn't know how to react.

It wasn't like the tingling or jolt people spoke about in movies, my touch didn't burn on his skin or anything like that. It was the action itself. I had tried to take away some of his tension, tried to ensure him that there was nothing to worry about. I had just unknowingly displayed an emotion for him that wasn't anger or dependence or weakness.

It didn't quite make sense to me, my head unable to gather together all the thoughts that were beating around my brain. I could feel his eyes searching for what exactly was going on as well yet neither of us bothered to speak- it was clear that we were both as clueless.

Before I could break of the trance I felt a hand covering mine. My eyes quickly raced down to find his rough fingers holding mine to his side, his thumb moving slightly from side to side over my wrist.

I didn't want to look back at him, to see what he was thinking- it all hurt my head too much to think about. I just needed him to go back to hating me; this needed to stop.

"I lived every day out there terrified that you were already dead. That everyone was dead and it was all my fault." His words startled me and as much as I wanted to see his face as he spoke, I couldn't bring myself to.

I moved my hand from his side; brushing his away as I began to stitch up the wound- maybe he would drop this if I just finished already. But that didn't work he just continued to speak.

"But I didn't lose hope because I knew that you all were still alive. You know how I knew?" I didn't respond, I kept my attention on weaving the thread in, out and around as the air grew silent from his rhetorical question. "I knew because there is no way you would let any of them die, all the deaths so far- they have been out of your hands. But everyone that you could have saved, somehow, you have. I knew that no matter when I found you, that all 19 of you would be alive."

His words stopped my breathing for a short moment, the breath caught in my throat as my hands finally stopped their work.

"You didn't deserve everything I said to you, I know that I've already said this but I don't think that I truly meant it as much as I do now." He brought a hand down to my chin, pulling my protesting head up to face him. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't escape his gaze. "I forgive you. You don't deserve everything you are doing to yourself. You are the reason all these people are still alive, the reason we are all getting off this island. The reason I feel like, for the first time in my life, I trust you with every foolish inch of my being."

I felt the tears falling, as he caught them with his thumbs I felt more and more falling with every word he spoke. I couldn't stop them, my control completely slipping from my grasp. His hand held loosely onto the sides of my face, holding me still as I shock with tears. My eyes were squeezed shut, refusing to let him see me when I was like this- I knew my eyes would betray the real reason I was getting like this. Because he made me like this.

If these words had come from Caila I would have had an entirely different response, but when it came to him I had no say over my actions. He didn't need to know the effect he had on me, I was already powerless when it came to him I didn't need him using that against me.

"Your stupid to forgive me. I don't deserve it." I breathed out, unable to stop the words before they filed the air.

"You can't do this to yourself any more, beating yourself up about it isn't going to help anyone. You are one of the smartest, most rational people I've ever met- except when it comes to this this!" He exclaimed, his words getting rushed and overwhelming as his hands gripped onto my face a little tighter.

"What if we were reversed, would you blame me?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~