"We need to keep going." Five heads snapped my way as I made my way back into the clearing. I had finished inspecting bodies, salvaging the arrows of knives that I could and burying the dead. The night sky was hung over us know, I had missed the hours of the afternoon completely. Exhausted I dropped to the ground besides them, reaching for a banana from my bag.

"No, you mean we need to keep going." Jesse circled the rest of the group with his fingers before turning to point at me, "You need to stay here."

"Like hell that's going to happen. You're not going anywhere without me!" Pushing my body weight forward I rose up onto my knees so that I was at the height of Jesse that sat perched on a log. There was no chance of them leaving without me.

"We're not going with you." His teeth gritted together, "Get that in your head."

"No, No one is going to leave me behind. Get that in your head." I couldn't help my self, my finger poking into his chest with as much force as one little figure could muster up. Our eyes were locked, both of them narrowing in as we showed the other how deadly serious we were.

"You're staying, and that's final." He grabbed onto my finger and held it against his chest tightly before I could pull it away. Doing this, he pulled all of me closer to him.

"Why can't it be you that stays?" I challenged, my head tilting as I looked up at him. I was not going to be the one rendered useless, the one forced to stay here and provide no held whatsoever. I wasn't just going to let everyone else finish what I had suggested we all start. "I have to go, I started all of this!"

"I'm going to need a better reason than that." He had released my finger, throwing it to the side as his words shot at me.

"Because- Because I can't lose you too!" The words breathed out of my lips before I could even catch them. I saw his eyes widen slightly, my own mirroring his surely. I could feel him tense up, his eyes shooting questions at mine- he was just as confused as I was. Stuttering my words I attempted to cover up the mess that my disobedient lips had just let out. "I can't lose any of you, who knows what could happen to you out there?"

Everything paused for a moment before anyone else spoke, Jesse and I were frozen in out spots before each other. He was searching my eyes trying to find any translation for my words- he wanted to find out what I really meant. Was it that hard to believe I mean what I had said and just because I had doesn't mean I needed him to know that. I didn't have time to be feeling this way.

"Who else is going to know how to look after Cara is anything happens?" Vincent spoke up, breaking the silence between Jesse and myself. Damn. He had a point

"Fine." I snapped, not letting my gaze drop from Jesse's as I lowered myself back to the ground. "But not until the morning, and you have to be back tomorrow night so we can make it back to base on time."

Nods spread around the circle, everyone agreeing with me. They quickly jumped into a discussion on what resources they'd leave with me and what they'd need to take with them. I zoned out, my gaze falling on Cara and my attention following it.

Her breaths appeared steady, her face may have been covered in blood and cuts but her face looked calm, at peace. My eyes dropped down to her knee, the blood had seeped threw the bandages but only barely. Considering the amount of skin that had been opened I was surprised it was holding up. I knew that I needed to stitch it up, to remove the belt before she lost all circulation- but I also knew that if I acted too soon or too late she could lose that leg forever. I had to save her, to make sure that I was bringing home the best version of herself – not this broken girl that lay before me.

~~~~

I wasn't going to be sleeping tonight, the moon was lowering and everyone had finally fallen into a deep slumber. I'd sat by the fire, playing with a stick on some of the rocks as I stayed guard of the rest of my group. We didn't agree to a guard watch, or even for me to stay watch of Cara but I couldn't help myself. Sleep had become a stranger to me, never allowing me to actually fall into it.

I could feel the effects it was having on my body, my energy levels dropping every day, my concentration lacking in the night times and even my physical strength was being effected. As my fist met the side of the tree I could feel my arms protesting- that wasn't meant to happen.

Groaning I threw five quick jabs at the tree, followed by a double cross and completed with a series of upper cuts. This was usually just the beginning of my warm up combo yet my limbs were screaming out in refusal. My arms didn't want me to be expelling such force, as it was draining what little remainder the rest of my body still had.

I'd never felt this weak, not even in the month I'd had to sit out with a shoulder injury. That was years ago, and I was stronger now- I had to be. As I reached out for my next hook my elbow buckled on impact. This caught me off guard, my knees losing their hold on my position and allowing my body to fall forward.

I fell right into the tree, head-butting it only slightly before my hands reacted and caught on to either side of the trunk. I didn't push away, instead my fingers tensed up and dug into the bark and the side of my face scratched up against the harsh textures.

I needed to box, to release all of this pent up anger and frustration- but my body had finally betrayed me. It wasn't going to let me do this any more. "Screw you tree." I growled under my breath, the frustration that couldn't flow out with my punches was forced to come out threw my fingers. They were clawing at the tree, the, gripping on a tightly as possible- I held on as if I would fall apart if I let go.

"We're beginning to make a habit of this."

That didn't belong to a voice I felt like hearing. Groaning internally I slowly released my fingers from the tree and instead balled them into lose fists.

"What is that-?" My back was still too him and even though I could feel him closing the distance between us- I wasn't prepared when his hand reached out and grabbed one of mine.

He opened up my fist, holding my palm upwards as his fingers immediately loosened their grip. I didn't pull away, didn't even turn to face him- instead I rested my forehead up against the tree with a soft sigh. I was mentally preparing myself for his questions as his fingers inspected my hand.

He would turn it over, bring him fingers closer to him face- I could hear audible breaths of concern. Every now and again his breath would hitch, holding on for a moment too long as he analysed what I had done to myself.

He didn't have to say anything, nor did I even need to look at him to know what he was thinking. I could picture his eyes, telling me how disappointed and angry he was with me- how concerned he was that I had let it get to this point. I know that I'd promised that next time I would hit him instead- but I just didn't need to burden him with my need for this sort of anger release.

After he'd searched over both hands I heard a sigh of exhaustion it was laced with annoyance and defeat. I slowly began to turn around, knowing that his yells would soon follow. But they didn't.

Rather, his hand just reached up from my hand and onto my wrist. He had a small bandage in his hands- it might have even been a part of some clothing. His eyes were focused on the large gash that ran halfway from my elbow to my hand- something that I had stitched up one night, something that had some undone with my many punches.

I stood there; still and silent, watching the boy wrap the material around my arm. His hands were pressed right up on my forearm, dragging the material around without ever once leaving my skin. I could feel my skin burning, as his palm was open against my sensitive skin. His hands lingered for a moment too long over every spot, taking longer than it would have taken to just lift his hands off from my skin.

Once he had tied it up his thumb drew a pattern besides it, causing a knot in my stomach, then his hands were gone. At first it felt a little empty without his touch, then out eyes finally met and I wished he'd never found me here.

He was angry at me, his eyes shooting questions at me as his teeth gritted together. How did he manage to look so angry yet so hurt, so confused and so curious? How was he allowed to make my brain flood with feelings and answers that I couldn't even articulate myself?

I hated this, I hated him for always interrupting me, for always making e second guess myself, for making me feel like I had to answer to someone, like I couldn't just let out my frustration without it being with them. I hated feeling dependant on someone like this.

But looking into his eyes and feeling that pit of guilt that was churning within me I knew that I was. I was dependant on him. I needed him. And there was nothing I could do about it.

I opened my mouth to speak, to make an excuse for why I'd done it without him but he spoke first.

"You need to sleep."

He held his hand up before I could speak again, shush me without any words.

"No arguing, we need you at full strength Dru." He turned around, gesturing for my spot around the fire. "It's about time someone else took guard, This survival thing isn't all up to you."

The look in his eyes told me there was no making him change his mind and by now I'd learnt to read him well enough to know that I had to pick my battles.

I didn't speak, too exhausted to even form a snarky reply or warning at the boy. I just nodded, quickly falling to the ground and propping my head up on a small pile of clothes.

I lay there with my eyes open, caught up in the beauty of the fire for a brief second. I could feel Jesse sitting besides my head, his presence alone drowned all worries and anxiety I had and allowed me to finally slip away into sleeps waiting arms.