《Incorrect Slasher Quotes 2》312
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At my funeral, there is going to be a closed casket. Then it will be opened to reveal that I am not inside. Instead, they will turn on the ceiling fan and my lifeless body will swing around the room while the Space Jam theme is playing in the background.
Nevermind. Michael said I shouldn't do that.
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Avatar Online
Skilled, disciplined and merciless.
8 129 - In Serial38 Chapters
The Stars Have Eyes
The universe was a vast, empty, dark, and uncaring place. Then life happened, and the universe was changed forever. Only a teeny-tiny bit, but definitely different. Then again, the universe changes a teeny-tiny bit every second of every day. For instance, if someone were to get off the couch and randomly drink a glass of milk? Bam! One less glass of milk in the universe. Changed forever. Well, excluding any time-travel shenanigans, but anyone who puts a big old hole in the time-space continuum just to un-drink a glass of milk should really reevaluate their priorities. Unless, of course, they were attempting to prevent some massive catastrophe vis-a-vis said glass of milk. Such a scenario is by no means impossible, as one should never underestimate the importance of calcium. Another important tip for any life forms out there is to keep things in perspective. Some look at the vastness of creation in relation to themselves and go, ‘Man, this sucks!’ These people really need to narrow their focus. Sure, they will never affect anything happening on the other end of the galaxy, but so what? That’s way the heck over there, where it doesn’t matter. Therefore, in order to maintain a healthy mindset, it is important to narrow one’s perspective to the things and people that affect them, and that they can affect in turn. But what happens if one is an unfathomable cosmic being from beyond the veil of reality? What happens when such an existence is capable of influencing entire swathes of the universe just by its presence? A creature such as Magh'rathlak the Observer? That particular entity is only about average as far as reality-warping creatures from the dawn of time go, so its influence over the fabric of reality is rather limited. And it still struggles to keep things in perspective. That, among other things, is why it decided to narrow its worldview a bit by compressing the maddening vastness of its being into a single corporeal form. Magh'rathlak had never tried such a feat, but that wasn't about to stop it. After all, how hard could being human possibly be?
8 185 - In Serial56 Chapters
Beyond The Game (Abandoned)
Kaine sighed as his foe advanced once more, never letting up, barely giving him time to breathe. He pressed forward as well, excited and ready, welcoming the bloodshed that was to come. His short blade, meeting the bestial warrior's bone-made longsword. Their weapons clattering sound into each of their ears when they clashed. Kaine pushed, as did his foe, beginning the contest of strength. A dance which Kaine controlled the steps of. As their eyes met, both of them weary, but Kaine's expression was resolved...maddened almost. Whilst his foe's was fear-struck, the creature was terrified down to its core. As were its comrades which surrounded them, watching, waiting for an opening to have at Kaine themselves. Seeing many...but they faltered, as the dead had seen the same openings before. Their battered, broken and still freshly bleeding bodies laying sprawled about their surroundings. It is just one... One of them thought in shaken disbelief. Just...Just one man but he kills so many...smiling even! Glancing from the dead, and back at Kaine as he slew another. No...this is no man... Was its panicked conclusion. This one's a monster! As Kaine turned to face it, weapon ready and grinning widely throughout his approach.
8 168 - In Serial21 Chapters
Monok's Bones: Discovery
Monok is gone, his soul residing in the moon, to forever look down upon the wolves of the small island. Until that day when a strange ship arrives, a thing never seen before by the wolves. Suddenly their world is thrown into turmoil as a forgotten history begins to catch up to them. And the young wolf Kabian is thrown into the middle of this. What happens when wolves and humans meet for the first time in centuries, when both believe the other something from legend, or have forgotten about them all together.
8 215 - In Serial7 Chapters
Statless
Summary Alexander Weiss, an intelligent and slightly unusual man, always dreamt of becoming a mage. Sadly, reality is harsh and even his best efforts never allowed him to achieve his goal during his lifetime... or did they? One has to be careful what they wish for, lest they might live to see it fulfilled. Description Follow Alex, a man whose pursuit of magic could not even be stopped by his non-magical reality, going as far as to create it himself, only to encounter an unsurmountable obstacle shortly before achieving his lifes goal, denying him all access to these powers. His journey will take him through a miraculous world, full of wonders, magic and manic beasts trying to devour him! He will learn much about this world during his adventures, exploring individual aspects of the System and the various monsters that came from it... or did they? Strong points What you'll get from this novel is the following (read with overly enthusiastic salesman-voice) : • An ending! I'll complete it, no matter what. Well, not "no matter what", but as long as I don't unexpectedly end, this novel won't either! • Good grammar! Might not be perfect, but it's definitely good enough to not detract from the story in the slightest. I'll also fix any reported mistakes as soon as possible, be they grammatical, syntactical or just inconsistencies. • No plot-armor! Or plot-weapons! Or plot-... potions? And no plot-holes! If you see some, it's most likely information that is being witheld for future revelations! But in the (hopefully) very unlikely case of such a vile beast being encountered, please inform me immediately and I'll see to slaying it without grace! (Translation: If you see plot-holes, tell me and I'll fix them) • Logic! [Hidden : Spoilers][Hidden : More Spoilers] [Moved to Chapter [Hidden Spoiler]'s Author's Note] Marvelous, I know! • Blue Boxes! And maybe something more! • Sensible retroactive edits! Not to be confused with radioactive edits! You'll not have to re-read previous chapters, even if they get some major edits. If they were to receive new information, I'll add that very information to the newly released chapters too, in a reasonable way. • Realism! Shocking, I know! Especially considering the tag related to that and the point about "Logic!". This also means that the story will be... well, realistically depicting a pretty messed up world. Don't expect bunnies... at least not cute ones. • Relatively faster paced! No long and boring descriptions of irrelevant stuff. There will be some longer descriptions about important things, but that's gonna be necessary world- and/or character-building! • Short action! Might not be a plus for some, but you won't have to look at a whole (or, god forbit, multiple) chapter describing a fight against the same enemy... • Strategy and hard progression! It's a dog-eat-dog world! No grinding/power-creep! If you're up against three enemies of your level at once, you've already lost! • Understanding! It will be mostly about discovering the wonders of this new world and how it became like that, all while trying to survive. So there will be enough action nonetheless! • Humor! Sometimes dark, sometimes light, always at the worst moment! • Constructive critics, welcome! Destructive critics, nope... I can handle criticism though, so don't go easy on me! Just make sure it's really a mistake when complaining about something. • Will add more in the future! If I can think of more stuff...
8 169 - In Serial21 Chapters
Unknown Son
Three days ago if I told you a new world including new towns, creatures you’ve never seen before and real magic could appear all in a matter of two days, would you believe me? What if I told you that we humans didn’t really understand how weak we really were before, would you believe me then? Hell, I wouldn’t believe it myself if someone told me that.Don't believe me then, but the revival... is near.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Hi, Bluefish here with a novel i'm trying to write. I'm new but also busy!Beware that the chapters will be short, since they'll be in parts. Each part should be around 1k words long. I'll either release it part by part, or one full chapter at a time. However, it'll be updated atleast once or twice a week!(Credit to whoever made that amazing picture, I surely don't own it.)Beware: Mature; Blood, Rape, Sexual Situations, Foul Language, Violence, etc.Tags Include: Male Protagonist, Magic, Swords, Kings/Queens, Kingdom Building, Royalty, Slaves, Non-Human Protagonist, Game Elements, Kingdom Wars, Demons, Elves, Fantasy Creatures, Guilds, Alchemy, Hero Summoning, Gods, Weak - Strong, World Change, Past plays role in Present life, Older Female-Younger Male
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