《Every Letters, Every Words (Collection of One-Shots)》Letters and Words #22
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"Oh my gosh, why is her body like that? Parang last summer 'eh slim pa siya. What happened with her body?" I overheard someone talking behind my back while I'm walking towards my first class. I sighed heavily, trying to calm myself.
It's our first day in school. Another school year. And here I am, expecting that people would not notice my sudden change of weight yet here they are, talking and of course I know, secretly laughing with their friends.
"Pre 'yung crush mo! Iyong sumali ng beauty contest last year. Anong nangyari sa katawan niya? Parang—parang balyena." One of my suitor's friend said and laughed afterwards. Pagpasok na pagpasok pa lang iyan ng klase.
I saw Hendrick looked at me as if scanning my body. I know that look and that's a judging one. Hindi ko na lang iyon pinansin at umupo na sa bakanteng upuan hindi kalayuan sa pintuan ng room.
I bit my lower lip while supressing my irritation. What the heck is wrong with these people? They don't want to be disrespected but they judge other people's physical look. Their standard is suffocating me.
Our teacher suddenly entered our room. Sa akin unang lumapat ang tingin niya at base sa reaksyon niya ay parang hindi niya ako nakikilala.
She adjusted her rimmed glasses and looked at me from head to toe.
"I'm not informed that you guys have a new classmate. What is your name hija?" she asked and smiled at me. She even signalled me to stand up. Tumayo naman ako at huminga ng malalim.
"I'm Jaida M. Genevo ma'am." I simply introduced myself. Her eyes grew wider, as if she already remembered me. Napalunok naman ako.
"Ms. Genevo. I-I can't believe it. Y-Your body seems different. The last time I saw you, you're slim and fit. Now—" she cannot finish her sentence because murmurs and laughters started developing our room.
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"Ma'am antaba na niya!" From my right corner, someone yelled and burst out giggling.
My throat went dry. I've never been embarrassed my entire life.
I wiped the tear that left my eye. I gathered my things quickly and ran away from our room. Or maybe 'their' room. I thought I belong but I don't. They accepted and adored me when I still have a model like body but when my weight changed, they started mocking me.
Muntik na akong tumili ng may yumakap na braso mula sa likuran ko. My tears are still flowing and I can't stop it. I wanted to burst and yell my heart out but I can't.
"Shush." A guy's voice hovered inside my head. Nanlaki ang mata ko at lalayo na sana sa kanya nang mas lalo niyang higpitan ang pagkakayakap sa akin.
"W-Why are you here? You should've stayed there, Hendrick." I replied. His manly scent informed me that it was him.
"Because I know you needed someone to lean on to, Jaida." He whispered. I bit my lower lip to stop my sobbing but it won't.
"N-No, Hendrick. I know you. I know that look from you earlier. Your eyes are judging me, my look, my weight, everything about me." I muttered.
"You're the one who's judging me, Jaida. I'm not judging you and I will never be. I-I'm just confused about my feelings. I thought I already moved on from you. But I didn't." he added. My heart beats loudly inside my chest.
He unwrapped his arms around me and he turned my body towards him. Magkaharap na kami ngayon at nahihiya akong nakikita niya ang itsura ko. I'm a mess. I can't stand for so long in front of him.
"Hindi na ako iyong babaeng nagustuhan mo, Hendrick. No one accepts me now because I'm fat! No one would ask me if I'm fine because I've changed!" I said, tears started streaming again in my cheeks. His eyes became concerned and worried. He cut the distance between us and hugged me tightly in his arms.
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"I accept you, Jaida. Not just your face, your body, your physical appearance. I appreciate everything about you. You may have changed but I would still choose to accept you. I didn't like you anymore Jaida," he mumbled. He then looked at me, with sincerity, love, and care in his eyes.
"I love you. I love your flaws and imperfections. You know what, it doesn't matter if you're fat and your beauty started to fade as time pass by. Hindi iyon ang minahal ko sa'yo Jaida. You're you and that made me adore you even more."
---
they love you at your brightest
they hate you at your darkest
but remember that there is still someone
someone who can still love you
because you're you
plain and simple.
Hey guys! I'm back again with another one shot.
I hope that this would remind us to love ourselves even if people turned their backs against us. We must also keep in mind to avoid body shaming and to not tolerate other people when they're doing it. Let's change our society, and that must start with ourselves.
- bellauren
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