I couldn't take it anymore, the constant stress and anxiety were making my head hurt. I didn't have my mom anymore and my dad was somewhere around Houston doing God knows what. My grandmother was in and out the hospital and lord knows it was almost her time to leave. It was all just too much.

I walked to the bathroom and opened the medical cabinet pulling out the bottle of Lexapro. This was the first time in months that I had to reach for the bottle to help with my raging anxiety but it was needed. Popping one in my mouth I turned on the faucet cupping the water with my hands and swallowing the pill. Five minutes had passed as I looked in the mirror and it didn't take long for the pill to kick in and my body started to relax. But that was the thing I didn't need my body to relax I needed my mind to relax.

Looking in the mirror only bothered me more. I didn't see the happy go lucky girl I usually am but instead I saw someone who was so fed up with the world around her. Frustration took over and I knocked the bottle of Lexapro into the sink. I felt as though I wanted to pull my hair out at this point and it seems very much so possible.

God I wish fucking Jacques was here. I need him. He was the only person to ever really give me hope that something was better out there for me and show me that someone cared for me even in my broken state. I was a fragile creature and Jacques was my rock but here I was trying to be a big girl and look where it got me, another break down.

Walking into the kitchen I grabbed my stepping stool taking a step up to reach the top cabinet reaching for my stash. I grabbed the mason jar of pre-rolled Backwoods that Jacques rolled for me a couple of days ago and lighter. Sitting on the counter I lit the blunt taking in a long pull before exhaling. There was still no peace my head still hurt. Looking across to the island I saw the picture of my mother in front of her canvas and my then sane father watching her from the threshold of the makeshift art studio she had created out of the small guest house we had in our backyard. We were residing in Woodland , Texas at the time and everything with life seemed right. That was until my mother was taken from us.

I remember when I was with my grandmother and my favorite tv show was interrupted with the news of the crash. The only thing I could comprehend at the moment were the fact that my parents Mercedes was wrapped around a tree and my mothers picture flashed across the screen with the label attached the bottom of her photo. Me being me knew what that word meant and I knew that my mother was gone.

And that's when I broke. All hell broke loose and when I snapped out of it I heard the pounding at my door.

_____________________________

" Z , Z , Zephyr baby girl wake up. Come on Zephyr wake up it's okay. " Jacques looked down at his best friend who was suffering from a nightmare. He heard her whimpering and small groans and he quickly woke up from his sleep to check on her. He shook her one more time before she finally opened her eyes.

" Jacques. " She called out barely a whisper but Jacques had heard it. He quickly pulled her into his arms her head tucked into the crook of his neck.

" I'm here Z I'm not going anywhere baby. " Jacques held her close as she cried her tears soaked his shirt. Five minutes passed and the cries turned to sniffles and ragged breathing.

" You okay ma ?" Zephyr nodded her head still tucked away in Jacques shoulder.

" You want to talk about it ? "

" No. "

Jacques accepted her answer not wanting to push her any further. Looking over at the red glowing lights of the alarm clock it read 3:30 am. This was the second nightmare Zephyr had within the pass two hours and it honestly had Jacques worried about her. The last time he had seen Zephyr like this was the anniversary of her mothers death and it had her in a complete slump for two weeks. It was Jacques first time experiencing her in this way and it literally broke him. She wouldn't pick up her camera for nothing and that alone shook Jacques to his core because he knew wherever his queen went the camera was sure to follow.

He shifted from under her laying her head down on the pillow gently.

" I'll be back. " He leaned over and kissed her on her temple and watched as she turned over on her side getting closer to the pillow.

Jacques walked to the kitchen and opened the top cabinet door pulling a blunt out of the mason jar that he had left for Zephyr a few days ago. Lighting it he took a drug until his lungs couldn't hold it and exhaled quickly. His muscles loosened and he relaxed a little more. Holding the Backwood between his lips he walked over to the couch that faced the large open windows of Zephyrs balcony and stared at the scenery. He just wanted his best friend to be okay again he didn't know what triggered her break down but if he was a gambling man he would put money on it being the fact it was the anxiety she developed over the years.

Thoughts traveled through cosmic mind that was Jacques Webster and he only could find himself focused on the fact that he wasn't there to help her. He wanted to jump off the balcony because he felt as though he didn't make it in enough time to ensure that he could help her through it. The false guilt ate at his conscience until Zephyrs presence snapped him from his poisonous thoughts. He looked at her reflection in the glass and he couldn't help the smile that tugged on his lips. She had on one of his Supreme shirts that she called herself borrowing. It reached her knees swallowing her small stature. He couldn't help the man in him from glancing at her breast that sat up just right. They were probably his favorite part of her body besides the lions mane of curls that crowned her head. He remembered all the times he laid his head on her breast as they just breathed together in silence enjoying each others company.

This is not the time to be thinking about titties Jacques get it together.

Jacques looked up over his shoulder and made eye contact with the beauty. She smiled down at him which to him was a good sign. She may have not been feeling completely okay but this was a sign that she was starting to relax.

" I'm okay Baby Jacques. " Zephyr said coming around the couch to straddle his lap. Automatically Jacques secured his hands on her small waist his thumbs rubbing the smooth skin of her stomach.

" You sure ma ? Like are you positive ? "

" Yeah." Zephyr took the half finished Backwood from between his lips and inhaled deeply before exhaling rings shapes purposely in Jacques face. Jacques chuckled and wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her closer hugging her. Zephyr giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck returning the hug. They pulled away from each other after a minute passed and tangled each others pinky fingers together.

Jacques brought their tangled hands to his lips and kissed the link between the two.

" Birds ? "

Zephyr smiled and copied Jacques actions kissing their link.

" Fucking birds Baby Jacques. "