Outside of the normal items I review, I do want to say that I quite like the name and art. The name is an intelligent use of their character names and comes across just punny enough to be funny but also doesn't come across as if the story isn't taking itself seriously. The art also takes itself seriously with the simplicity of the style, the contrasting, and doesn't get full of weird distractions adding in a ton of details.

I read 15 chapters, I think just over half, before calling it.

TLDR; A couple of demon-possessed guys and a girl go after a coin.

Plot - Why? - The plot in and of itself is simple. Normally I quite like simplicity as it gives the most freedom for characters and world building to flourish. This is no exception to that, but the plot still needs to stand on its own feet with an answer to at least one question.

Question of 'why?'

So the story starts off with an air-plane hijacking. You got a rich dude, Night, as the target, and it starts off nicely. They seem to be terrorists or mercenaries, but then you learn they are actually government agents. Then you learn they arent actually terrorists-agents, but actually terrorists-mercenaries again or something for a boss whose 'why' is utterly braindead and ruins any tension. basically she is a joke. Then you got a sudden new villain in an absolute dumbass trying to run down the plane for about 10 seconds. Dont know how that ends. But all of this is meant to show that Night is considered a rather valuable person because he has powers.

Despite how much of a joke his opponents were, it still manages to introduce us well to Night. It doesnt introduce us to the world or plot, just who Night is. It also shows a tiny bit of Gale, enough to get the impression they know each other and he is a worrier, but nothing else. It has enough good things that the start isn't bad, but it isn't good either. Its average.

Then you meet Gale more and his sister. Good characters when properly introduced with well-rounded personalities, values, and clear desires. The chemistry is nice. However even the way they are introduced over the first arc it needs work. We are told things about them, not shown it. We are told the sister is awkward around people her own age, while she is sitting in a car watching them play instead of answering the question of 'why?'. Why is she awkward? Why cant she hide her powers? Why does Gale choose to prioritize isolation over mental health and social needs? Has there been bad experiences in the past? Are his reasons valid and real and tangible or is he meant to represent some kind of male woke-controlling-hierarchy? Dont know! Nothing in answered, nothing is asked. There are no scenes of her with kids where bad shit happens. We are just told its a thing and to take it at face value.

Then a monster appears and this was well done. Spooky, gives minimal information, but poses a clear mystery of origin and questions are asked and looked into. Not much of a threat, but something is happening.

Then we have something about a Lazerus Coin, and at this point the story falls apart. We had been introduced somewhat to the characters, but not enough to know their motivations. Why are they villains who do good things? Dont need a backstory but at least SOMETHING. Are the rival factions fighting over the coin any threat? No. Why are we after the Lazerus Coin? Well... because reasons. Why are there other villains after the coin? Because they are stupid. (basically that is what is expressed almost verbatim, not even by me. The characters think their rivals are stupid.) Why is the church after it? Because... uh... reasons. So basically its a bullshit mcguffin device that everyone wants because they dont have a reason and those with a reason are stupid. This is what the story tells us.

The lack of motivation of the main characters to be involved in the story or anything that is happening, and the lack of tangible reasons for anyone to give a damn about the Bullshit-McGuffin-Device, really leaves me with the constant thought of "Why???" If the bad bad guys who want the coin are stupid, then 'why' not let them be stupid? If you have no reason to get the coin to begin with, then 'why' bother? If the church want it, for no reason, then 'why' give a damn? The Bullshit-McGuffin-Device has nothing to do with the limited character motivations, it has nothing to do with their personal problems and tribulations and flaws, it has nothing to do with whatever redemption or survival they seek, it has nothing to do with any truth they are trying to grasp onto to have better lives, it has nothing to do with anything.

It isn't until later, almost 2/5 into the story later, that we have 1% of a reason. Apparently their enemy is trying to summon satan with it or something. But this motivation falls apart because 1. This is putting the reason to start the journey after the journey begins. which doesnt work. 2. the characters think this is stupid, as I said before.

The only part of the plot I could take seriously was the stuff around the monster and their own personal journeys. Every scene that involved the Bullshit-McGuffin-Device being mentioned or as the goal fell apart with no foundation to give a damn about. Unfortunately with 1/2 of the story having nothing to do with their personal journeys, and nothing to do with the monster or people after them, then it was a lot of wasted scenes and potential.

And its not like this would be difficult to fix. There can be an easy fix if the characters have a history of collecting, preserving, and safeguarding (or using) items with demonic taint on them like the Bullshit-McGuffin-Device. But there is none of that. Something basic like Night having a classy demonic-touched watch hanging from his pocket he checks for whatever reason. Gale having a demonic-touched ring on his finger that helps keep the demon of anger contained unless something more happens. The sister having a demo-possessed rabbit doll as a companion or mirror to talk with the demon. They can have a basement full of caged up other Bullshit-McGuffin-Devices where you don't even need to know what benefit they have. it can be as simple as regular humans exposed to it go insane or see unicorns farting rainbows or get magical booboo and need magical bandaids. Just SOMETHING showing they have an invested interest in this type of stuff would be all that it takes, but the author gives nothing from start to finish.

Main Characters - Semi-Smashing - The main characters consist of Night and Gale, hence the name of the story. Their chemistry is interesting. One has bigger extremes of compassion and revenge while being prone to overthinking, and the other doesnt care much about anything and gives the least amount of thought or effort necessary to do what he wants. They are good friends with a hinted history. You get little hints along the way of their moral struggles, but there are a bunch of major problems with them, which aren't even by their own hands.

The story happens to them. These two don't choose to do much. The story happens and they go 'okay i guess we might as well.' or they are on the defensive being involved in things against their will. There is no motivation giving them purpose to be involved in anything until it happens against them to force them to be involved in the story against their will, so it becomes extremely demotivating to be engaged with. Why root for someone who don't give a shit about nothing?

Then there is the opposing sides which are best described as short-lived joke, mysterious joke, incompotent joke, and a full on group of jokes. The first, a woman and pilot in chapter 1, last about ten seconds, after dieing for brain-dead reasons accomplishing diddly squat. The second, of the monster and bird, works but is presented the least and does random inefficient actions from a distance that keeps it from being imminent. So its more show than threat. I laughed at IT. I laugh at this rival. There is no viable threat to what is basically demi-gods. The third has the most scene time, being of the exorcist siblings, but are incompotent at their jobs on every level imaginable while their attitudes are insufferably obnoxious. Those two are like if you put the Spanish Inquisition from Monty Python in charge of exorcism with the attitude of woke feminists. Then the final group of rivals introduced is a mysterious group only suggested by a third party that is doing an activity where the main characters immediate reaction is "that is stupid." The resistance to our main characters are so utterly braindead that they, quite literally, defeat themselves in EVERY. SINGLE. INSTANCE. without the main characters involvement. It is a contest of who is more incompotent. The incompotent vs the unmotivated. Now take all of this bottomless stupidity and incompotence and put them up against a small family of demi-gods, and the demi-gods ever pretending there is a threat in any of this sells it as the story refusing to take itself seriously.

When the sister's difficulty in engaging socially is presented as a bigger problem than all of these rivals combined, more impactful to the characters, more shown and detrimental to their mental well being, and is something I find myself more invested in than the rest of the story combined, but is given the least time as a plot than there is a problem.

Side Characters - Bad with exceptions -

Little Sister - I will make an exception here. She is almost worthy enough of being her own main character with how often she is around and how close she is to the main characters but she only had one scene for herself and her entire plot is nonexistant. The other main characters also have little in the way of plot, but with her there isn't even an attempt.

Night Club Man - There was a man running a nightclub and to my surprise I quite liked him. He was a good side character for what little time he was given. His emotional, mental, and moral issues were well presented and showed a tragic character I felt really sorry for, and there is a very real thing behind the willingness to hurt others, to lie to yourself and the world, and generally seek any lie to make your bad choices easier on yourself.

I'm not going to mention the rest more as i already have in others places enough to get the point across.

Grammar and Word Usage - Smashing! - The story was quite easy to read. It flowed well. The transitions between scenes gave me whiplash in the latter chapters, but thankfully its not common. The paragraphs became less sharp and quickly the story went from having very little empty-words and unproductive paragraphs and scenes to using more and more over time. Quality naturally degrades or upgrades over time and chapters as people get more into the flow of it and practice while also letting go and accepting lesser quality because readers are invested.

World Building - Average - The world building was presented okay enough to be interesting but also fall flat. There is interesting details telling me of a larger universe with multiple factions at play, which was intriguing, but the characters whose job is to represent those factions and that larger universe the main characters live in either are mind-numbingly incompotent or so distant as to be almost not there.

Overall I'd rate it, currently, 2 out of 5, with potential for 4/5 with a few key changes. The problems with the story aren't many, but are so impactful that the weaknesses outweigh the strengths. It won't take a full rewrite but it would take a deep focus on changing key things like motivation, involvement between the story and their interntal struggles, and giving the resistance against them at least half a braincell.

If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.