Smashing is never a matter of perspective; because no matter from what angle a pillar may be viewed it can be crushed with a large enough hammer.

Hammer meet nail. In this case: Perception by @LynaForge.

I spent about a week reading the entire story and have some thoughts. But first I have some stuff outside the review to comment on.

Firstly the story idea right from the start was promising. It is based on a classic fairy tale and from its speech has an old english feel, which I love. I am also reading the original Sherlock Holmes, and some of my favorites are old classics like Dracula, Frankenstein, The Three Musketeers (series), Narnia, The Hobbit / The Lord of the Rings, and more. I even find the New King James Bible to be the easiest to read just because I'm used to that language style. This, however, will not play a role in the review itself as this is entirely biased. (Except to describe the quality of the style, rather than the appreciation for the style itself.)

Secondly the story resonated with me on a personal level. So while I am trying to be unbiased as possible, I cannot deny that I am at least 1%+ biased by things in my life that mirror it at any times and give me an insightful perspective many lack. To explain briefly my grandfather had walked away from his family, including my own father, when he was a pre-teen, forcing him to grow up overnight. This caused mental blocks in him even 30-40 years later that, even as loving as he is, simply result in one fact: he didn't know how to be a father. He had no role model. I have also known several widows or other-wise single parents who struggle to balance giving everything a child needs from a single source. Therefore I see the MC in my own father, and many other parents in my life.

Thirdly the story was a Watty 2021 Shortlister and so will be exclusivly on Wattpad for 1 year. Then she will publish it on paperback, and then hopes to release it as an audiobook. Since she aspires to truly publish I will not hold back like I do for some people.

TLDR; Single parenthood in a nutshell.

Overall I'd rate it 4 smashing out of 5. Its strengths outweigh its weaknesses.

Main Characters - Smashing! - The main character's name eludes me. It is from the first-perspective so she always calls herself by "I". Everyone else calls her 'mother', 'mistress', 'master', and other titles. I cannot think of a single instance where she is given a name. So I'm gonna just call her Mom. Mom is a great MC. You are inside her head the entire time and her emotions and thoughts flow clearly. Every word is measured, every action has purpose. Action and inaction are equally considered in a logical, strategic manner so as to produce the most beneficial outcome. As a result you have a lot of great things: the MC is powerful because she is aware, self-controlled, and intelligent. She is also flawed because every action and word has a consequence sometimes positive and sometimes negative. Then you have the best thing: Real Consequences. Every choice, whether word or action, has a reaction leading to a logical consequence. Nothing happens at random. (Almost. Remember this later in side characters.) The MC is also reflective of the consequences. She considers the problems that arise in her childhood and how to adapt to them, and then when there are problems as a result of her actions in parenthood she considers how to adapt and overcome. She is constantly trying to change her style to adapt to what is necessary towards a singular goal: Giving her daughters what they need to survive. Sometimes this means being caring and gentle and sometimes it means being a drill sergeant.

This is where things get messy, in a good way. So lets go to them.

Side Characters - Semi-Smashing! - There are a fair assortment of side characters and most of them are presented up front. You have Mom's three daughters, you have her sister, brother-in-law, mother, grandmother, grandfather, a pair of servants, and then some nobles toward the end. Each of them are dynamic and deep enough to be a main character, evidenced by the fact the author is making a sequel from one of their perspectives. Each are flawed yet endearing in their own way and give strength to the family somehow. The oldest sister is sweet and naive, but that naivity has problems everyone else has to cover for, like she is a flaming racist and there was a while I thought she was poisoning the MC by accident. The youngest sister is logical, efficent, and ambitious, yet can be overly blunt unintionally. Then the middle sister tends to be the negotiator between them but can also lack in herself by constantly trying to put out fires and be obedient. The cast has a large variety, and while it technically can punch the skin-deep woke agenda you see in so many stories and shows, it succeeds in doing this only unintionally because, to her credit, she considered the time setting and what kind of people would be involved in normal every day life. Then she just aimed to make them great characters befitting their role, personality, and background. To this she succeeds. They are all succinct, driven by dreams and desires, have deep flaws, have dynamic relationships not just with the MC but with each other and all the increased variety to imagine a giant spider web of relationships can offer.

Special notice has to go to Edmond. A black servant (slave) for grandmother/grandfather, he grew up with the MC and the rest of the cast in some way. He is quiet, reserved, extremely attentive to the strategic consequences of every action both himself and others take, yet not coy when requested for his perspective and despite his low standing in society proves to be a bedrock for all the characters in some way. Either they trust him with their secrets and dirty deeds, which act as a visible burdon for him, or they trust him with their lives as if he was a regular member of the family, and the small things make him powerful. Like the youngest sister loves learning chess from him and he is self-controlled when faced with the racism of the oldest sister, and the way he looks at some disagreeable side characters makes you wonder if he murdered them later or was merely attentive and cautious.

However, two problems with Edmond. The first is that I confused him and the brother-in-law for like 8 chapters. The reason for this is that the brother-in-law was referenced constantly and his actions, yet not once named that I could find. Then Edmond was introduced by name as the first male figure and instantly my brain said brother-in-law = Edmond. This lead to complete confusion as the brother-in-law figure as we had been told and Edmond did not act anything like what I expected, then when we were introduced to the servant and G-dude (forget his name) then I thought G-Dude was the servant yet he acted nothing like what I expected the servant to be based on what we had been told. I was a mess of confusion until about chapter 7 or 8 when the story started off as to explain how their relationship started with the brother-in-law in the same sentence as naming him as G-something and my brain went "oh shit. Edmon was the servant. G-man was the brother-in-law!" leading me to have to reread the last half-dozen chapters to see if it was me being stupid (i wasnt that I can tell) and how this changed my impressions of the two characters based on their updated roles in my brain.

The second problem with Edmond is that the huge revealing of his lineage in the final act came so far out of left-field I had to reread the chapter to be sure I read that correctly. I did. It made no sense. What the hell?! That was random and really what is the point? It doesn't make anything better or worse. It is unnecessary and is trying to make some huge moment and leap and growth that was, from the very beginning, unneeded. Nor is it ever capitilized on so its not even used except in the shallowest sense imaginable. If it was actually used as a change, then it would create a complete role change. Yet it did nothing outside of the immediate paragraph so... why?...

Then you have the dynamic between the second prince and the oldest sister in the final act. This was random. Never hinted. Came out of left field. Existed for a single set of paragraphs. Contrived. And seemingly had no purpose except to tie the entire story to the Disney version... which was... disappointing. I'll explain this later.

As a bonus there was some bonus chapters and the author was confused as to why people didn't like a particular side character that started with G. This won't play into the review but here is the hint: the name. The guy you wanted people to like has a similar name to the character you wanted no one to like. At first glance they are identical. Try changing his name and while I doubt people will like his personality much, they at least won't see him from a pre-determined light.

Grammar and Word Usage - Classically smashing! - The style is old fashioned classical for the most part. Yet it still feels just modern enough that most people should be able to follow easily. The words are smart without going over your head or making you look up every other word. I didn't see any grammar issues. It was easy to read and understand.

The story has a lot of telling and showing mixed together. Yet, to the stories credit, this didn't bother me. Telling is for summary and showing is for engagement into the scene, and the author used it properly so far as I could tell, if not the most efficently as the past-time-line/flashback is largely told while the present-time-line is more shown with less telling. Good. Flashbacks are generally annoying but this kept it from being a pain in the ass.

World Building - Semi-smashing - The world building is virtually invisible. 99% of the story comes from the interactions between the side characters and main character. Yet there is a culture at play with expectations, lifestyle, and circumstances that requires a political form of survival to which shapes all of their goals, flaws, dreams, ambitions, and seperate journeys. Like the perfect makeup on a girl that brings out her features without making her look like a parrot exploded in her face.

Yet there is one flaw. It is minor, but still worth mentioning. It is based on the cast. The cast is dynamic and great, but 99% of them are introduced in the first act and it doesn't increase dynamically. You have no outside perspective of the family until the last few chapters. You only have members of the family and those that work for them or live in the household. No neighbors, no rivals, no outside pressure. This is something that feels lacking. There are a mind-blowing amount of well-done variety in the members of the family and their staff, but surprisingly there is not one perspective of the household from the outside. A result of this could be that while the sense of culture exists as to what they feel they must do to survive in it, that it feels like it could be an echo chamber or bubble they have put around themselves and it may not be the true culture they live in, but rather something they convinced themselves of. (which, nothing wrong with that if so. but we could use at least one character to offer an outsider perspective. The chef wasn't outsider enough, nor present enough, to count.) We do not need villains as there is no lacking in drama, but something to offer an outside perspective.

Plot - semi-smashing! - The plot structure is unique. 80% of the chapters function in the same way. You start with the past-time-line/flashback, then you have a smooth transition, then you have the present-time-line. The transition is important and done well because actions done in the past offer the MC reflection on what is happening in the present, or have a cause-and-reaction that has direct relevance. Also the flashback timeline is mostly done through telling while the present time line feels more showy, so it feels directly as if the MC is telling a story half the time. The large family has secrets beneath the surface, ambition, and are willing to do whatever it takes to survive, even if it means tearing each other down. There is no lacking of drama. The MC makes choices and there are far-reaching consequences.

To explain a bit better, there are things that happen in the past that shape the MC's world view. Based on this world view she thinks there is a certain way to survive. So, out of care, she teaches this method to her children. Yet a problem comes that not every child reacts the same way to the same lesson and has different needs. One child might need compassion while another needs a firm hand. At times diplomacy is necessary and at times authority and obedience. What benefits one child hurts another and the MC is struggling the entire time to juggle all of them as a single parent.

In a way the plot structure is both simple yet complex. Because if you took each individual character and analyzed their plot, then they are simple. The MC is also a simple plot: teach her children to survive and have a future. Yet the complexity comes from the before-mentioned fact that what benefits one damages another and so the drama is constant and changing as the MC struggles to keep up because you have nothing short of a dozen simple plots interwoven into a giant yarn ball being rolled around by that annoying cat!

Yet the MC is not lacking in plot herself as she has romance, tragedy, and a heroic journey of her own. She could be a basic mother that gives 150% to her kids, and she doesn't lack in this, but she also has her own life that helps shape how she raises her kids. (for good and bad.)

This is all presented no less clearly than in the epilogue as the kids have grown up, moved on, and are thriving in one way or another. At times not forgiving the wrongs from the MC or each other and at times understanding and willing to grow up.

Yet, there is a problem with the plot. The author aimed to do a retelling of Cinderella. But not a fanfiction. Sorry to burst your bubble but that is the same thing. You succeeded in making a retelling that flips the original on its head in every way, but it is unfortunately not bold enough to be original and step away from Cinderella. The plot of Cinderella is not unique. It is a story about survival based on status, wealth, and prestige, and this is tackled in many stories about class warfare. Even the plot Cinderella, with an evil stepmother and status growth, is unoriginal. Rhodopis, Ye Xian, Cenerentola, Cendrillion to name a few. (Cinderella is Disney's take on Cendrillion.) So while I understand the ambition of doing a retelling of a story people are familar with, it proved disappointing the author was unwilling to escape it and come up with random and seemingly contrived events suddenly with no other seeming reason than to connect it to the disney movie. The story is plenty good enough to stand on its own merit with the theme of motherhood and status survival that it is, and I was disappointed the author was not brave enough to let it stand on its own strength. Rather it leeches on the popularity of Cinderella by using names and characters, changing them, yet still by the very act of using them turns into a fanfiction. As an author of fanfiction I know what it is. I love fanfiction, but this doesn't need to be, yet is. Fanfiction is to be a parody or satire of its original material, and while this is exactly that, it is still unique enough within the same overarching theme done by so many other stories in time across greece, china, egypt, and more that it can be brave enough to stand on its own feet. It doesn't help that these attempts to connect it to the disney version come across as random and contrived.

There is also one other problem. This time with the MC. There is a single trait that was at first, interesting, but was done so much that it started to take away a lot of value from her. She has this annoying habit of seeing something happening, knowing what she needs to do, reflecting she needs to do it, and then... doesn't. I can understand 'analysis paralisis', I can understand stagefright, I can understand reflection of thinking 'i could have done that better'. I am the same way, I am incredibly indecisive in my life. but this is done SO CONSTANTLY that it starts to ruin her. When a character knows what they need to do to do better in their journey, then it takes away the journey. A journey is about learning, and then the moment you learn how to do something you have reached the destination because you just do what you learned. But she spends the entire story knowing what to do and just doesn't do it... for no reason. I genuinly could not tell if this meant she was too smart for her own good or was completely retarded or so ruthless as to willingly hurt everyone around her for no reason. Yet this makes no sense because it contradicts her character of being intelligent and loving "in her own way" and wants what is best for everyone, but is full of mistakes and flaws. If this was done once or twice, then it would be understandable. But it was done probably 50x per chapter. It got incredibly obnoxious to the point it becomes a hypocritical contradiction, and not in a good way of being a basic character flaw. More like being bi-polar, confusing, and difficult to make sense of when this happens.

Overall I the story. I ate it up and was on the edge of my seat. It took things I hate about most stories and used them well enough that I actually liked them. But it has some flaws that keep it from being perfect. Things that just miss the bullseye. It is good enough to stand on its own feet and be published, but if taken another stab at with precision and care, I can still reach greater heights. I see more potential.

I'm out with a smashing!

If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.