I really wanna know what smashing song it is this guy is singing and dancing to. Its been so long since I've seen the movies. xD

This last two weeks or so I've been working my way through TCOST:DA by @ChristinaSilva9. This is a long one folks. I finally decided to give it a rest at 15 chapters of the currently 23, not to mention the non-chapters at the start. 1) Because it is finally the point when we reach Darkwood Academy. 2) We finish the first major act that will either make or break the story. 3) The chapters are quite long and I got a lot of people who want me beta reading or smashing, not to mention my own stuff.

This story is supposed to be the first one in a series of books aimed at pre-teens. It will be treated as such.

TLDR; Childhood fantasy with a colorful and cute cast, a well developed world, looooots of imagery and fluffiness, and everything is rainbows and unicorns except for the fact everyone you love and know are dead or dieing. So yeah there's that.

Overall I'd rate it 4 smashing out of 5. Its strengths outweigh its flaws.

Main Character - Smashing! - The main character is a little girl with long flowing hair and an unusual heritage. She is not a Chosen One but having parents of different nationalities comes with its own problems that is relatable, believable, simple, easy to work with both as a writer and reader, and offers so much to the world-building while giving a very believable way of making her special. Her curiosity is cute and her motivations and drives are understandable. perhaps a bit unrealistic how easily she copes with so many pressures, but then children can surprise you when they have to carry heavy burdens and grow up quickly. She is surrounded in love and care and gentleness that is trying to shield her, but can't because unfortunately, reality is just crap. I found her adorable from the start to finish, and love how innocent she is while not blind to the reality around her that is chasing her and her family. There are a few oddities with her worth mentioning for the author's sake, but I don't think it's enough to be a big problem in the long run.

I can't tell if this is meant to be a growing-up story when she already behaves like adult shouldering responsibilities and knowledge and burdens and traumas even a lot of adults don't want or have, with an intelligence far beyond her age. It is an unfortunate reality that kids grow up quickly when their parents both cant take care of themselves properly, but the tone of the story makes it hard to tell if this is meant to be a mystery by a very mature kid or a growing-up tale. Not a problem because the MC manages to balance both for the most part, but it makes me wonder if the author knows completely which side of the line she wants to work on or if she is trying to ride the line down the middle. It mostly works thus far but it is a very fine line that can break easily at any time.

My second problem with her comes down to the fact she is labeled as having a photographic memory. It is one thing to say the kid is smart. It is one thing to say the kid is book smart and studied under her father in a very believable fashion and has a passion for languages and things. But when you label someone with what is more or less a super-power, it does something completely different to the character that alters them. It removes relatability. People, in reality, can be smart and confident, but not have a photographic memory, and so few do that those that are still smart won't be able to relate to the girl because 'oh she is just that much better than me. i don't have that super-power.' Its like Captain Marvel or a Mary Sue or Supergirl or the early versions of Superman. You are not MEANT to relate. At all.

My third and last problem is the tears are constant, even in moments where it doesn't seem prompted. I almost wanted to count the number of times she cries in the first 10 chapters because it felt like several dozen. At first, it was relatable and sad but it got old and didn't bring any kind of emotion out of me. Thankfully the tears stopped after the train chapters. My suggestion would be to re-evaluate each crying moment and cut out the ones that are redundant or repeats of what we got seemingly five minutes prior, and if the follow-up towards the emotional release of tears make sense. Because it didn't always.

Side Characters - Semi-Smashing - Mostly great. The side characters offer a variety of influences on the MCs. One of the SCs, the father, manages to shift from being SC to another MC quite well because he is driven by his own clear motivations and goals. You can almost say the beginning part, the MCs story, is also his prologue into his own story. It handles him brilliantly. The various townspeople have a lot of flavor to their interactions, personality, and roles, and though they offer little in the way of engagement with the MC in the long term, they offer a lot of world-building and a sense of community. The town does not feel empty. It feels lived. Then you got a pet that is cute as hell that tags along for the ride all the time and is always there. The only thing missing was the pet actually contributing to the story like being a little menace and him not having been drawn. Like seriously, you got a little mascot there and there is no drawing of him that I remember. That is a waste of a mascot! He works right now because he is very much an emotional connection for the MC to hold onto as she goes off into a new world, but he needs to do something of his own will soon or he will turn into a hindrance to the story.

World building - Smashing! - My god this is nuts. absolutely freakin brilliant. so much work put in. so much thought. all put together smoothly. I love it. This is true world-building as you have a literal world with unique languages, culture, technologies, clothes, people, beliefs, religions, philosophies, economic strengths, military, politics, etc. The only thing missing at this moment is how the nations actually converge and disagree. Are there enemies? Are there allies? Mostly unknown as they are treated as isolated nations despite sharing borders, but at the same time travel seems open and even kids from various nations are sent somewhere else for education. Is the world under a huge alliance? alliance against what? So many questions as to the large picture, but at the very least the individual puzzle pieces to the picture is spot on.

The WB contributes brilliantly to the plot and MC as the MC goes out into the world and is full of wonder. She doesn't know what a train is. She doesn't know what a revolving door is. She sees floating islands. New plants. New people of all shapes and sizes. Mountains. Oceans. Its through the eyes of a child and this works incredibly well. So even as long as the story is with how many words are packed into it, it always feels like something new is around the corner as she goes on a literal adventure.

Bonus: PICTURES!!! PICTURES ARE FREAKIN EVERYWHERE!!!

LOOK!

LOOK AT IT!

She did this herself!

languages and numbers!

I have seen artists who will go online and put random-ass gifs into their story to replace words all through their story. Not one, or two, but dozens. I call them the laziest writers alive. This artist is the OPPOSITE! Everything is done herself for the pure fact of bringing a world to life. I love this. I ********* LOVE IT! This is taking showing vs telling and taking it to the next level. It does slow the story down as she insists, which I again appreciate, to have at least one good piece of art, if not three or four, per chapter. That is 22 chapters right now and easily 60+ pieces of art she has done herself.

How in the hell does she have such a small fan-base???????

Grammar and word usage - Average - Meh, incredibly wordy, long, hard to keep attention at times due to slow pacing and very long paragraphs. Manages to use words pre-teens would understand and reads like it is meant for a younger crowd, which works well with how cute the MC is, how loving the community is, and generally just how much 'feel good' atmosphere there is.

Plot: - I was left speechless, and not in a good way -

The story rides on a plot where the MC's have a problem. This problem is powerful, sudden, understandable, gives strong motivation and drive and their choices result in the plot. This also makes a deceivingly fast-paced plot where every chapter offers so much so quickly despite their length and feeling of being wordy. There is a lot happening all the time and it flows smoothly as water. There is so much information from the WB and wonder of the MC ontop of a plot that feels both slow and fast at the same time.

I loved the plot. But then it does something.... bad. So amazingly, mind-numbingly bad. I was left speechless, had to walk away for a few days, and asked other people's opinions to which they all agreed it was absolutely horrible. So much so they would never ever let their kids read the story.

I originally wrote a rant on how stupid this was that was 1000 words long, but as pictures are worth a thousand pictures, here is a meme instead.

I don't mind politics in stories. worlds have politics. but this was so obviously aimed at preaching one-sided principles, so much agenda-driven, on politics, with no respect for anyone else, that not only was it a preachy, tight-fisted, brain-washing monologue aimed at in a children's book, but I had to run to the toilet to . All while in the middle of chapters where the plot was about a father and daughter having one final day together for the rest of their lives.

But, I am fair. The rest of the story was good and worthy of respect. Its just a pity this one chapter or two was enough to ruin the entire story if I didn't choose to overlook it.

It is also contrived and super convenient that the day the girl is leaving, and the day they check the mail to leave, daddy gets a letter, and the girl happens to see it, happens to have a photographic memory and happens to think something is up so she looks into it and comes across a deep mystery If he had decided, like a good father, to ignore the mailbox and focus on his daughter alone as they leave, the mystery would be gone. If the mail had been late by 5 minutes, 1 hour, or if the letter was written and mailed a day later, the mystery wouldnt happen. If the girl didn't happen to have a super rare and actually nonexistant condition as photographic memory, the mystery wouldnt happen. its fine to be curious, she is naturally that way and i love it, but there is so many unlikely coincidences here happening it feels contrived. . I love the mystery but the amount of coincidences here to get it started is so unnatural that it removes the suspension of disbelief.

Finally, the story actually returns and my god its golden and mouth-wateringly juicy. Glorious shit hits the fan. The girl finds herself dealing with an adult world where here family is in danger and the father has to deal with being surrounded by enemies in the government, potentially in his surroundings, and in himself, while trying to figure out mysteries of his own that threaten his life and his daughter's life. The wonder and awe the girl goes on in her adventure just to get to the school made me feel a bit like an inner child for a bit.

I'm out with a smashing!

If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.