Smashing is the best exercise one can ask for!

Yesterday I read 'Mask and Memories' by @MarjorieK64. It really has been a long time coming after I had read 13 chapters before (which was all that was available at the time) and now it has been finished.

TLDR; Jane Eyre meets magic mafia.

Overall I'd rate it 4 smashing out of 5. Its strengths are greater than its flaws.

Main Character - Smashing! - What is there to say about the MC... Powerful within subtlety, mysterious despite being open, clever without flaunting it, kindness behind pain and stoicism, endlessly deep no matter how deep you live and likely won't come up for air again. This MC easily gives the story its core strength with nothing but pure grade characterization from start to finish that grows yet never drops out of character or turns the MC into someone she is not. Every thought is revealed yet flows smoothly as water with the narrative, weaving in and out of the action and dialogue with the grace of a dancer that never ceases to keep the tension relevant, active, and beautiful. As a character, not even as a person, she pushes and pulls at the story at the exact right moments, being in the background when needed for other characters to grow like a reactive character and making her own choices as an active character, both within her own control and choice based on the situation, showing a depth of characterization that is rare. Many characters in other stories act yet do nothing, but this MC can be quiet and still yet do everything. She blurs the line between reactive and active with her ability to understand the flow of people and what she wants to do and when choosing when to act and when not to act, which actually turns her own reactiveness into activity by the sheer ability to be self-aware of her body and mind and choose it.

All of which include romance and dramatic tension. For every step forward we have the ever-present reminder of what is at stake. Every interaction is as human and genuine as life. Slow enough to feel like a slice of life, yet the ever-present tension keeps everything feeling tightly packed. I have never been a huge fan of romance. 99% of stories I've come across is basically just an exploration of lust, not a romance in the slightest despite trying to wear the label. But this story is romance and character and people first and foremost, where if you didn't know better, they could marry as virgins.

Side characters - Smashing! - The SCs are never confusing to balance. Their names are different enough to track, introduced a few at a time, only kept around when relevant, given just enough reminder when brought back later if necessary, and almost all of them have the strength to be little MCs of their own. They are dynamic, acting differently, and appropriately to the situation without ever breaking character. They succeed in their primary goal of giving the MC the appropriate partner to dance with from scene to scene and grow as needed, provide tension as needed, to allow us to learn about her as needed, and all without hitting you over the head with their purpose. They just do it because of who they are, making every single scene, and interaction character-driven. Then when things happen it is both as predictable and unpredictable as one could hope for. Predictable because you know the characters involved in the happenings, yet unpredictable because the happenings are providing a new situation the characters might not have experienced before. This combination of predictability and unpredictability is perfectly seamless because they never once break character while being as flexible as any real dynamic person you might know.

Grammar and Word Usage - Smashing! - I didn't notice there were even words. I just saw people. The flow is so good it was like water going through my fingers. I went into it at... I want to say 2am when I woke up and didn't come up for air until about 3pm. Took a break, and finished it off at 7:15pm.

World Building - Smashing! - The WB right off the bat is slightly information dumpy, but is self-aware enough to try and make it as painless as possible. Like a nurse with a needle that is apologetic. You only get what you need to know, every bit of information is relevant to the immediate moment or absolutely necessary to know later, and nothing is wasted. No wasted space. The information is also given at appropriate moments in what SHOULD be a mess of character, dialogue, thought, narrative, and information dumping all being dropped on your lap unceremoniously and told "fix it yourself", yet is ACTUALLY a seamless dance of pure art as every word is sharpened and placed with care. Following this brief dumping, the world building is given as shown over telling for the most part with subtlety because the SCs are central to the happenings of the WB itself. So stuff that happens to them is basically as far as the WB goes. Which is phenomenal. What is the name of XXX mountain? WHO CARES! It has no relevance and isn't given! The WB is so aware of its own scope that things that should be huge like "oh yeah I met God and we had a few laughs over vodka" is kept as colorful background to the true scope and theatre unfolding of what is a tightly knit plot between a few characters.

Plot - A Nine-Month Abortion - The WB gives constant outside pressure while the characters create inside pressure and between the two you got a character sandwiched in that is flexible and capable of bending and stretching as needed but ultimately will have to face the music as she has limits. The story is incredible, character-driven, full of dread and mystery and hope. No line is wasted. The story is smart, super smart, doesn't try and go beyond its scope and limits and puts emphasis exactly where it needs to with grace and delicacy. The drama is moutherwateringly juicy. The romance is heart wrenching. Everything is character driven AND in character. They are so human it feels like a film without any script but pure adlib where they are incredibly skilled actors having true fun with their roles and giving it 110%. I'm talking Robert Downy JR and Heather Ledger depth of acting.

The plot is not big. Its basically "go to place, meet people, hurt them, get back to me when you're done". Simple. Efficent. Allows infinite room for the character to breath and do what she needs to do, infinite room for drama to fill in the gaps, and it does exactly that. The fact that the plot is basically 1% outline and 99% character driven is just marvelous.

One tidbit in the story, the existence of portals, is something that puzzled me from the moment it was mentioned. Portals are a lot like mystery boxes. They can be used really well, they are mysterious, and then when they are opened it, literally or figuratively, can be really cool. It is extremely dangerous introducing portals at all, but I took it with a grain of salt and hoped for it to be used well. The story had not failed to impress up to this point. With every element up to this point used with the finesse and talent of a master surgeon, I had high hopes.

You also have a mystery box within memories and amnesia, which the MC has. Now... The amensia mystery box was handled with care, and its payoff was both unexpected and oh so juicy. Her solution to the whole jewelry thing when its fully revealed was pure genius, unexpected, yet simple and obvious in hindsight. It stayed within the lore, the tone, the character, WB, and plot of the story and gave it a powerful step off the cliff towards a final ending.

If I could stop here, I would. If I could back and say to myself "don't read any further" I would. If I did, I would give this easily 5/5. If the story ended here, I would easily give it 5/5. But no, the show must go on. The story doesn't end with the memory return. There is an ending as there are some loose ends to tie up.

Oh boy is there an ending...

The ending we got... I may have spent 2 hours staring at the ceiling confused and angry. It is insultingly bad. Not insulting to me or my intelligence or understanding as a reader, but an insult to the story itself. It insults the characters. It insults the plot. It insults the WB. It insults the word usage. It takes every. Single. Good. Thing. and shoots it in the face repeatedly in what I can only describe as a last minute abortion using a Russian rullete, where the villains were actually stupid enough to stick a bullet in each chamber.

Let me explain...

The tone and story up to this point was you got some mafia guys wanting something from a rich dude and so send MC Amnesia in as their agent to get stuff from him when its really her and her memories they want. They apply constant pressure from the outside while characterization, romance, and every bit of revealed memory provides inside pressure. It really has the tone of an old fashioned British sitcom with small, but not overpowering magic elements that offer infinitely more by their use than their existance.

Then apparently everything has been about portals to earth to meet the writer of the story because the mafia are too retarded to think even once in 10 years that "hey, we lost a war. perhaps the solution isn't invading a whole new world where we lose our only advantage and are outnumbered and outgunned millions of times over? Maybe we shouldn't be stupid?" Complete with an idiana jones crew of the MC, the primary villain, a random sidekick, and Donkey from Shrek. None of the SCs that have been utilized and given growth up to this point are involved, none of the SCs that have been along for the ride are even in the final act, none of the plot elements that have been waiting to be utilized to bring it to conclusion, none of the powers that have been explored are wielded. Just... this.

1) This ending turned the entire story into a giant meme. This inability to take a serious story seriously is an insult to the story. If the tone had been, ever, up to this point, that there was room for Deadpool 4th-wall-breaking self-deprecating jokes, then it might have had a 1% chance of working. But it didn't because right up until the last minute the story took itself seriously. This ending, comparably, in JUST its ability to take itself seriously, is like watching the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy and then finding Mt. Doom is ACTUALLY portal to Spongebob Squarepants where Squidward is watching Space Balls.

2) This ending turned the threatening and intelligent villains into incompetent morons and the hero side into almost equally moronic people for the lulz. I really have to wonder how the baddies tie their shoes or wipe their butt with this level of stupidity. How were the mafia ever threatening? If you have lost a war, where your only advantage was magic, and then you think your solution is to invade a world you also lost a war to thousands of years ago (this information dumping plotline was also last minute and made absolutely no sense at any point) where you also know you will lose the one advantage you do have being magic, and you want to fight this super-powerful nation on their home turf? Then you know what? Do it. Do it, Stupid. Go invade a world you don't have a chance in hell of doing shit to. Multiple arts of war books by famous generals say "when your enemy is making a mistake, don't stop them." But no. The heroes apparently cant put their own history together enough to realize the villains are QUITE LITERALLY defeating THEMSELVES. Did no one stop and think this wasn't the best idea even once in ten years?!?!?! THEY CAN POKE THEIR HEADS THROUGH THE PORTAL AND SEE THEY ARE SCREWED! Which makes it even worse!!! These guys know history. If I were the MC, I'd have given them the key to the whole galaxy in that portal and said "knock yourself out." and then sat back with a lemonade as the entire army is nuked into oblivion while waving their hands around in the air trying to do magic that they cant use like a bunch of morons. This would be as effective for them as Area 51 being invaded by French mimes in tin hats.

Not even to mention the completely out of character interactions of the mafia turning over on their bellies and going "oh yeah I guess there is nothing to see here. our plans for galaxy domination are thrown out the window? fine. carry on. Here is a complimentary wine for your troubles. Kisses!". But that is so small in comparison I'm adding it as an afterthought.

3) This ending didn't just change the tone, but the escalation, into absurdity. The story right up until this point has been closely confined to a scope of characters, a scope of WB, a scope of plot, and scope of how far it will go. You have many many many MANY MANY MANY elemtsn that allow for intrigue on what the ending could be, many theories that can be made. What is behind the mystery box? Thats the question. Does it have anything to do with the people they lost the war to? Nope. Does it have anything to do with escaping and running away to an empty place to start their own nation on? Nope. Does it offer a network of places from which to strike unexpectedly and spark a new war on their old foe? Nope. Is it a hidden ancient armory? Nope. Is it a dimensional prison their enemy has put prisoners into on a level even higher than Evil Eye? Nope. Is it related to a rich guy who openly says in the story he made very powerful enemies and needs a place to hide? Nope. Is it a power grab for this ambitious lower-mafia guy to take over the entire mafia? Nope. Is it related to anything in the story at all? Still nope. It is something that requires a whole new plotline given at the last second, at the tone of a doomsday bomb. Let me put this another way. This kind of escalation is watching Everybody Loves Raymond turns Godzilla and Dragon Ball Z at the last chapter complete with Deadpool dancing to Justin Bieber. It is so... empty. Unecessary. Random. Meme'ish. Epicness for sheer scale and epicness sake, with barely 1% relevance. The whole reason the scale and epicness of huge epic-scale movies like MArvel Endgame can even exist is because the escalation and tone and scale has been slowly growing over the course of decades and dozens of stories INTO that! The whole reason the MarineFord war from One Piece worked in its scale is because of the 500 chapters that took the time to slowly, constantly, and systematically build up to it.

These are just the big things. The ending is rushed, throws away half of the characterization we had up to this point, refuses to utilize any character who have stakes in the ending and instead chooses to replace all of them with who I can only describe as Donkey from Shrek. I like him, he is a lot of fun, but when the entire damn family has been guarding this ending for generations, wouldn't... any of them... if not all of them... have a say in it?... Why is this guy the replacement for everyone?...

To someone who hadn't read the first two acts, the third act might be good. But when you are invested this far, and have read such greatness... then this third act has all the grace, and funny enough many of the same problems, as the third Star Wars Trilogy. Only the people who did the whole Rey Skywalker-vomit actually just exploited it for political agendas. I truly, honest to God, cannot grasp how Marjorie, who I can tell loves the story to the bottom of her heart, could ever have written this third act. The final act has to have been written by an imposter who hates the story. It is the only explanation I can think of.

I'm out with a smashing.

If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.