Today, I, Skittles, shall take over this scratching post, but tomorrow the whole world will be my litter box!

Today I scratched this 'Mittens' by the man-servant and, after shooting a dozen pencils under the oven, I think it high time I show this Nigel how to get those fleas off with a nice posting.

TLDR; Needz moar of them nips.

Person-things: A true chosen one- This particular tail covers two persons. One is our Chosen One, Mittens, as he is gifted with an ability to swap places with his man servant, Poop-Removal. (I think this translates to 'Jones' in their broken speech?) The tale largely comes from the perspective of the whiny one, Poop-Removal, as he shows he isn't a fan of sharing as our Chosen One is able to borrow his body. The Chosen One is most enigmatic and charismatic and genius, able to grasp all things that is man-servant, like them opposable thumbs, and fools the green-making social industry for more of them territory furnishings, and so makes a glorious life for himself and Poop-Removal. Chosen One is genius and mighty and big, but unfortunately is too glorious for the understand of the things that is man-servant's litter. The man-servant's litter is just as annoying as actual litter, not being as understanding of Chosen One's plight and desire to share in the opposable thumbs. They have this thing for 'love' and 'compassion' and 'dont eat fast food' (I think they call it mice?). With their lack of understanding of the true way they bring about tragedy and drama for our Chosen One that he must struggle through, and struggle he does. His wit and charm would put a tear to any cat's eye.

Understandably, there is some flaw in the Chosen One as he commits treason on his people, selfishly. Then the manners he was defeated left me dropping the nip. My whiskers rose often and my tail couldn't stop battering.

And knowing what it is to be from inside a dog is a horror I would never wish for any cat. Cover your ears and pull back your whiskers!

Speech-things: Difficult - The speech thing of the man-servants proved elusive for an owner, but with some focus, and moar nip, this owner could grasp it. Man-servants probably find it easy but what do they know? They are too stupid to know the dog-pigs can't speak man-servant. They actually talk to the brain-dead and have conversations with themselves. Madness, it is. Or they have an unhealthy amount of nip. Probably the nip. They do eat many greens.

World-litter-box-thing: There is a litter box. - The Chosen One, despite Poop-Removals constant whining, humbles himself to take the man-servants place and clean it regurally. Skittles cannot understand why Poop-Removal cannot see how owner has humbled himself, nor why the Chosen One didn't just make the whole world his litter box. Surely Chosen One could have just used the front grass?

The Plot-Tail-thing: A tragedy - As mentioned beforrre the man-servants do not like Mittens. It goes well for much time. The way it shows our Chosen One's triumphs is amazing and heroic and much-earned. Then over the tail the man-servants conspire and though there is much struggle between our great Chosen One and these whiny things, our hero is defeated. By a Pizza Box of all things! A box of the cheese and flat meats! This be random and smells highly of grease, and I not refer to just the box. The tail was riviting and made me wish for moar, though each chapter be as big as my rationed treats. (I KNOW THEY GOT MOAR IN THAT BAG! #stopwitholdingtreatsandnipsnowyesgoodmanservant) I do admit my whiskers fell for the choiecs made for the innocent kitty and my tail rose as the tail brought great confusion to brain-dead dog, despite plastering my whee brain with the horror of seeing through brain-dead-dog eyes. The only fault I truly find is the tail seemed without purpose and confused at first, being of different tones until settling for a proper story and knowing what it wants to do.

Skittles think it be rate 1 scratching out of 5. It was a tragic tail. It did not have any nip, which is a true travesty, and the message it give is that cat kind be left to depend on man-servants. It saved brain-dead dog and the Chosen One showed he cannot do maffs. Did Mittens not know cats have 9 lives? With each live being 16 of the man-servant years then we lives 144 years. Mittens goal seemed backwards. Look how even the man-servant to write this tail depicted our glorious hero as a French 007 villain in the picture!!!

Nigel think he smashed it 3 out of 5 but Nigel Man-servant also dumb, keep getting weird greens but not the nip I order!

Let's see how Nigel like it!

If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.