I never knew my nostrils were so big. Geez. Do I always look like that? Why is that guy looking so board? Who took a bite out of the table? So many questions!

I was requested to read "Fake Me to Church" by @BlueJay325 and it looked interesting enough to take on. I haven't finished it, but it is good enough that I plan to. The story is long enough I think I will do a review now, and a second addon-review later after finishing it if I feel anything more should be added on or changed.

TLDR; Murder, conspiracy, and bodies galore ruin what is otherwise a normal high school year for these guys.

Main Characters: semi-SMASHING! - The Main Characters are nothing short of amazing. The story bounces back and forth between their POVs, and they are both incredible in their own ways as the writer manages to bring unique flavor to their own chapters by different writing styles. Both of them are easy to follow and understand. Their motivations are clear, their flaws and strengths are open, and the drama is juicy, esspecially as they clash pretty much everytime they lay eyes on each other. You understand what motivates both of them very easily and they are characterized well. The author isn't afraid to let bad characters be downright awful that deserve all kinds of crap while letting good characters be sympathetic and nice and undeserving of what happens. The characters stay consistent to who they are and have distinct dialogue and actions and reactions based on who they are. This makes them feel all the more authentic. The MCs have things to grow on, lessons to learn, and have strong character development. The romance feels great and is paced beautifully, the consequences of their actions are real and not just ignored later, simple actions have weight because of the sheer level of characterization behind everything they do is so easily understood from multiple points of view and angles.

There is a failing in the characters, that ties a bit into the plot and I'll go ahead and bring up now. But many times there are key moments in the story that feel... incredibly coincidental. Not just coincidental, but what-are-the-odds-of-asking-out-random-guy-to-go-to-ice-cream-only-to-get-run-over-by-elephants-and-smashed-by-meteors level coincidence. Its things that you probably won't notice unless you are REALLY paying attention and analyzing every movement and detail, but the number of events that play out early on make me wonder "What are the odds?" Its not so bad that it would hinder the story for most, but this story aims to be a super-intelligent murder mystery and as such I am increasing my expectations. The way the MCs run into key things by these coincidences and sheer luck takes away from the story for me and deprives them of a lot of agency early on. The first time you stumble on a body, sure. No one can expect that and randomness can be observed. But after a while the constant "What are the odds of this?" makes me wonder if the author even wants his MCs to have agency for the entire first-half of the story, or if the author just wants them to be swept up in a storm outside of their control and leave them as witnesses to what is going on all around them. The author even goes so far as make a detective SC, seemingly just to take away all agency and desire to look into the murders from the MCs and gives it to the SCs, so the SCs become the ones dictating the pace of the mystery, and never the MCs.

Side Characters: semi-SMASHING! - The SCs are just as good as the MCs! There are MAAAAAAAAANY SCs, and they all feel distinct. Their names are easy to keep up, their actions and words are consistent with their portrayed character from beginning to end, their roles are distinct, no one really acts alike, they all have different relationships with each other (ontop of the MCs different point of views for those same relationships!) which creates a huge complicated web of relationships amidst a community... that is AMAZINGLY easy to explore. Great effort is made to hold your hand through every step of it, while also not making me feel like I am stupid, and always offering hints at something more beneath the surface of this otherwise lovely place. Every character plays out their role perfectly, giving the MCs different people to interact with and under believable circumstances (which helps with the constant "what are the odds?" feeling I get) and at the end of the day are just great. There are ones you want to hug and ones you want to punch in the face. Ones you want to see become MCs of their own, and ones you want to see die off as quickly as possible.

There is however, one failing. Some of the SCs are too good. They actually go so far as to take away necessary agency and will from the MCs and become the dominant forces of progression for the plot. This is what I hinted at before with the MCs. SCs exist to be supportive characters, to bounce off of the MCs, not the ones playing the main roles and taking control of the entire plot for themselves. It is one thing for the SCs to have backstories that determine the plot for the MCs to explore, but it is another thing for the SCs to be the ones exploring the plot and just dragging the MCs along like unwilling puppies.

So I would take away a point for that.

But, but... I'm also going to give the story back a point for it.

"But why, Ancient" I hear my smashing reviewer-y wondering "why take a point and give a point for the same thing?"

Well, my swarthing intellectual, because it is easy to give anyone agency. It is easy to just say any MC has agency. it is something that is done a million times and in a million ways. But how many stories can pull of a proper character development flaw of creating agency where there was originally fear in a healthy way? The main character's arent stupid, they aren't lazy, they aren't unaware of what is happening around them within their senses... what they are is afraid. They know perfectly well what it is to come across a body, and they choose to lose agency, not because they are unwilling hero stereotypes, but because they want to leave it to more qualified individuals and to focus on the drama of their lives and just find a way to 'deal' with what they have encountered. Their agency, their willingness to step into the mystery with open eyes is something they have to build up within themselves as the reality slowly sets in that the mystery will consume them and the people they care about if they do not play a part. The author manages to balance something in their character, manages to see they are not those kinds of people from the start, and keeps them consistent to who they are even when it at first appears to be a detriment. Because lets be real a moment. If you or I were to randomly come across a body of a person we have never met or heard of and to know there is a murderer out there, we would likely do the same as them. We would run, we would avoid getting involved in something highly dangerous and far over our heads, and we would leave it to others. We would climb into our beds and watch Iron Man and remind ourselves there are heroes out there to clean up the mess for us.

Kudos to this.

Grammar and Word Usage: Solid - Nothing really to say about this. There are a few words I found mispelled, but its never to a point it hurt the story. I never had to reread anything. I could read it easily and smoothly. I felt like a second draft.

World Building: Its in the Side Characters - In any great mystery the world building, side characters, and the plot are so closely intertwined that they are almost inseperable. For the sake of discussion the Side Characters basically is the World Building. The various ways they interact, their dynamics, their rules, their input onto the main cast, all of it is one and the same. So I say the World Building and Side Characters are one and the same. Through them you get a sense that there is something wrong festering in the city. Whether its the holier-than-thou constant vomit and hollow holy bullshit that made even my Christian-eyes burn. Or the constant supply of clues and facts that contradict what the characters want you to think, but you come to learn are lies.

FYI: Anyone who thinks that any of these 'Christians' are accurate to even 1% of what Jesus wanted, save perhaps the detective, needs serious help. There isn't a drop of righteous truth and love anywhere to be found in this messed up people. They are hypocrites, meant to be, and are depicted as such. /rant over

Plot: semi-smashing! - The plot is gripping, smart, and well done, mostly. It is a solid plot with great pacing, powerful and character defining events, and never wastes time. It is a rollercoaster that doesn't stop and will have you on the edge of your seat from the moment the crap hits the fan. The first few chapters are just for setting the stage of who the MCs and a couple SCs are and establishing their relationship dynamics, and this is extremely well done. Then the characters smoothly transition into the 'finding their first body' stage, and from this moment on it floors the gas pedal and doesn't let up. The SCs fit their roles perfectly. The mystery is thought provoking and a constant tease, never giving up more details than it is willing to offer, but also never offering up any detail that isn't important. Everything matters. Everything has purpose. It constantly shakes up the status quo of "who dun it" and leaves you guessing.

There is only one flaw. At times there is a feeling of "what are the odds?" as the MCs happen to be at the right place at the right time to see just the right thing or eavesdrop on just the right words. This is constant. What motivates the MCs to be at these locations is well done and beautifully crafted based on their character. But what are the odds, for example, of the MCs wanting to show up at a certain location, at a certain time, WHEN a certain event, unrelated to them, and that they didnt know about, happens to be going down? After a while it feels cheap how these things come to them despite their lacking of agency. The universe just keeps dropping clues on them they aren't asking for. Universe, at least wait until they want the clues and are looking for them before you dump it all on them!

There are also a few moments, albeit few, where the plot doesn't quite make sense. Its small moments like a few dialogue lines, a single character action that is strikingly stupid or out of character or makes no logical sense no matter the scenario, or the conclusion to a particular fact feels out of place. Or it may just be the mystery is going to pull a fast one and make me realize I have to think between the thunking and thunk harder than ive ever thinken before!

Overall I would rate it 4 smashing out of 5! Its not perfect, but its damn close. The MCs getting a TINY bit more personally involved early on and a lot less feeling of "what are the odds of this?" would really bring it to that peakness of blowing my mind and making me want to smash the shit out of this with a 5/5!

PS. It may look like I am repeating myself a lot and pointing out the same flaws and strengths in multiple sections. That is because I am. That is also on purpose as everything works together to create those flaws and strengths, so it warrants repeating them as each 'section' plays a role in them.

---------------------------------- Addon 7/31/2020 -----------------

Finished the story.

The mystery continues heavily, but takes on a far more intense tone as enough pieces fall into place to know, more easily than the story probably intended, who the murderer is and a lot of the problems I had with the story early on disappear at this point as pieces start falling into place within the MCs minds and they are motivated more and more to be involved. Because not only does the pace SKYROCKET but the paths they take directly feel like they parallel with the murderer. There is a villain, there is a group of heros, and they are both in a race to go after the same people. So it is at this point the whole "what are the odds?" goes away and the story becomes much smoother.

The story tries to explain a lot of the "what are the odds?" feeling I had early on, but it honestly feels desperate and fumbles a bit. It feels like someone who realized there was a plot-hole and patched it up rather than reworking the story. Naturally, I won't argue that the amount of work to fix the plot-holes from the ground up simply isn't worth the effort and a patchwork is fine, but I still sensed it around the edges like a faint scar.

The story is super-smart right up to the end, but it is right at the end where everything... its just pure chaos. Realistically its fine. When you have so many pieces moving at the same time, so many plots, so many threads and lines converging at one point, what you are left with is seemingly pure chaos as you have 10+ seperate plans and ambitions converging and conflicting at the same time and the writer manages to smooth it out from the POVs very very well, so if you turn your brain off it is great. Is it better that the ending be smoothed out and calm and collected and unraveled as a Sherlock Holmes story? Is it better that the ending be pure adrenaline and chaos of perhaps too many moving pieces all at the same time, yet still juggled mostly well? I dont know.

I think the main reason the ending felt like chaos in a bad sense is because suddenly there were more people thrown in at the last second, more plots, and more mystery, and these 'last minute additions' were all rushed in comparison to the first 85% of the story where the plots and mystery and people were given room to breath. It feels like a different level of quality was rushed through in an effort to wrap everything up.

Still excellent. Still left me on the edge of my seat teasing me with constant theories and mysteries and juicy plot and plenty of action and cliff hangers. The story revels in its darkness, blood, hypocricy, and hate, but balances itself out as some characters truly embody love and light and salvation.

4.5/5

If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.