《Ancient's Smashing Reviews》Shadow of Death by @houseofwisdom
Advertisement
0/5. One of the worst restaurants I've ever eaten in. Cannot recommend.
Ah, you thought that was real but it was actually me, Digel!
Today we are doing a bit of a close up on Shadow of Death. This will be a bit different to me as this is the first sequel review to another story I have reviewed. As such I will be referencing the previous story often. The previous story was reviewed in chapter 13 here, 'Fury is Born'. I cannot claim to be going into this without the thoughts coming forward from my previous review. And like any good sequel we will see how it matches up, or doesn't.
TLDR; What?! Han is evolving! (Pokemon noises!) Hanthalah has evolved into Man-child!!!!!!!!!
Main Character - Smashing! - Before, I mentioned how the character is good. That hasn't changed. You still beat to his heart and his motivations and thoughts. The story is from a first-point perspective and this is beautifully utilized to emphasis the Main Character as there are things we see done that he is entirely ignorant of, and from his perspective is portrayed as fact, when we, the readers, know better. This creates beautiful tension at times. But before I also spoke with him in private about a single problem I had with his MC in that the boy had no power, no ability to make decisions, and was tossed in the rivers of fate. Even as beautifully as a character is written, a main character with that is completely powerless becomes repetitive, tedious, and will eventually becoming boring.
This has sense been fixed to an incredible degree as the MC unleashes all of his power, his manipulation, his control, and all the pent up rage he had been building up for an entire book to set his fate to what he chooses. And this is made all the better by the fact that he is his own worst enemy as half the time his choices bite him in the butt with real consequences. You would think he would learn...
Advertisement
Side characters: semi-Smashing! - Before, I mentioned how the cast of side characters were a confusing mess of people who all seemed the same, fit the same roles, and yet you were expected to keep up with dozens of names in a language that, even with a reference sheet, alien to most western readers. Since then the author has improved on his side characters by leaps and bounds! There is still a bit of confusion, but I will explain a bit better.
The side characters have clear differences and purpose in personality, character, history, origin, and ultimately role in the story. The names also start to branch out further so they sound different and are properly fitting their characters. This combiness to make them much easier to keep track of. Still not easy by ANY means, but at least now its what I would call "doable".
The main issue I have with the SCs would be that several of them are characters from Book 1, and are introduced as if you are expected to know already just who the hell we are talking about. This is a mistake that is often made in sequels. Writers assume readers remember every character from their previous book instead of starting with a semi-fresh slate, and they assume that everyone reading book 2 has actually read book 1. There are multiple times I saw a name being dropped, the MC acted like he (and therefore we too) had to know who that name person was, and I was left scratching my head thinking "who?" Esspecially considering book1 was messy with its cast of SCs. The author tries to aleviate this a little bit with hints and clues as to who the people are, but it isn't enough half the time and it takes several chapters before I realize who this random person tagging along is.
Besides this issue, they are still excellent in their own rights. Just could use a lot of clarity up front.
Advertisement
World Building: ITS OVER SMASHING!!! - Take all of the beautiful world building from before, and then build world building ontop of world building and you have some idea what you are in for. Because the MC has direct interest in the world building, it doesn't feel like its even difficult to keep up with. You take everything you have learned and witnessed before and take it into the next stage as one nation fights another nation, and thanks to the WB we know both well so that we can clearly see the stakes and reasons on both sides.
One thing I really like is that even though the story is neck-deep in Arab culture, it shows both the good and ugly side of Islam. You have people who are pious, and you have people who are butchers, and you have people who are zealous and you have people who don't believe it and just use it to their own ends, and you are left to figure out your own opinion because the MC doesn't really like any of them.
Plot: IUTFHDSAUIHFUIDSHFUI IM LOSING MY SHIT - The plot has thickened greatly. Between a MC who can now begin controlling his own actions and fate through strength and manipulation, and a captivitating world building that pits two worlds against one another clear as day, and well placed side characters, the plot is a rollercoaster of ups and downs and emotions. The MC's actions come back to bite him in the ass at times, and at other times the other characters agenda plays into the plot. All-in-all the plot was, a bit shaky in certain scenes and how they were portrayed, but overall was smooth, clear, natural, and left me on the edge of my seat.
And then the author decided smashing wasn't good enough, oh no he decided to take it to the next level. I won't say what it is, as it would spoil the plot, but along the way I caught there were certain actions, lines, and scenes that didn't make sense on their own and didn't play a role in what was immediately happening around them. Yet I know the author to be intelligent and talented enough that these things written were not mistakes. They were clues to something happening under the surface. Then when I got to the end they came together in what I can only describe as an orcheastratic song of multiple plot-lines, a life time of consequences rippling together, and beautiful, controlled chaos. A lot like when someone dies and their life flashes before their eyes. A single moment causes chapter after chapter of scenes to play before my eyes as puzzle pieces fall into place and I was left cursing at the screen. Hopefully my neighbors didn't hear haha!
As I am used to analyzing stories and my own stories have subplots and clues laid out, I was able to come close to figuring out the end before it came, but even I was not 100% prepared for it.
Overall I would rate this 6 smashing out of 5! Why? Because it took the 5/5 that was the first story, fixed or almost fixed all of the issues, and took everything to the next level.
And he thought I hated it...
Raise your smashing and smash the shit out of this!
If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.
Advertisement
Genesis - A LitRPG modern day cultivation story
The Grand Lotus Empire's Dynasty has risen with the rise of modern Technology. Its Scientists and Engineers have paved the way for a prosperous Populus. The Empires Generals leading their armies subduing wild lands and beast alike. The emperor himself has forced law and order upon the world’s sects ushering in the age of Corporate Sects. Cultivation has become available for the most common of people. Still the Sects push their influence on the world, but now they do it with advertising and education. In the Empire people cultivate mana pushing forward their concept. Every individual is born with a concept and idea that defines their cultivation. To apply your concept upon the world is the purpose of every Cultivator. Some use it in their everyday life, making art, using it in construction. Yet still the most prestigious use of your concept is to push yourself further on the path of Martial Arts and ascend the heavens. Although the Empire is safe and people live in peaceful days, the threat of monsters, demons, and beasts of the wild are undiminished. The armies and generals stand vigilant on the borders of civilization. Excursions made of sect disciples regularly set out to acquire rare resources such as the corpses of mana beasts, rare minerals, or strange plants. In this world were political intrigue clash with scientific research and traditional martial arts, Jade Saelee lives a pretty ordinary life. Like all the common people she mostly tries to survive and maneuver the attention of the government and sects. Her adoptive Mother, Mara, is a junior Alchemist in a minor local sect. The only uncertainty in her life is her origins. Abandoned as a babe she was left on Mara's doorstep. Her only possession an awakening stone left with her in her crib. Today is the day of her awakening ceremony, what concept will she awaken to, will she get her quiet life?
8 126A Merchants Tale
Legends rise. Country’s fall. Empires wage war. But what supports these great powers, allowing them to function as a single organism. Is it the common man, Farmers and Millers forming the backbone of the land? The Soldiers and Guards keeping public order? The Wives and Widows supporting from the side-lines? The Nobles from their seats of power? Or the elusive Sorcerers who wield power untold? And what maggots crawl in this great creature, all trying to get a piece of its slowly decaying flesh. The gangs of the Underworld hidden in the shadows? The Bandits and Deserters hiding at the edges, ready to pounce on any weakness? Witches and Warlocks working their dark art? Or other Nations clawing at their neighbour’s, salivating over the riches they stand to gain from another’s demise. There is one group that belongs to neither group. They thrive on others misfortune and bring with them salvation and destruction in equal measure. They can raise a kingdom up or tear it down screaming and kicking. These are the merchants, the lifeblood of kingdoms, because what is the one thing above all else men crave. Is it Love? Power? Destruction? All these things can be acquired with one simple thing. Wealth. Wealth is the true power behind the world. Wealth can buy army’s, strangle kingdoms, and turn even the most devout man from his faith. Merchants come in many forms, shapes and sized, some gaudy, bleeding the people for all their worth, some tricky, preferring to make contracts and debts to trap men. And some desperate, doing all they can to sell even the most worthless of junk. This is a story of one merchant who goes against all a merchant stands for. He works not for profit but for some unseen goal, a prophesy aeons old. He comes and goes like a ghost, bringing with him hope and victory. All pray for his arrival to spare them from despair. But what about when he doesn’t show? What about the people he doesn’t save? For this man is no angel, no saint sent to save the masses. His goal was never to deliver hope. It merely isn’t time for their destruction yet. For nothing is eternal. And all things must end. But what comes after? Quick disclaimer in response to the review I got, this is my first story and somewhat of an experiment for me, hopefully my writing will get better the more I practice. Thanks for any helpful advice :)
8 65The Legendary Craftsman
A dungeon running fanatic runs into a problem after a boss of a locked dungeon destroys all of his equipment. What does he do? Forge new ones!
8 182The Qi to Immortality
The Golden Rule of transmigration into a xianxia world is not to get involved in the affairs of important characters. Death follows them, bearing down on the ordinary people they interact with. For months Zhao Mi has managed to abide by this self imposed rule, making a living as an Assistant Admissions Disciple for the Misty Cradle Sect. When a misstep with a young master places him in the sights of a heartless clan intent on saving face, the only viable solution is to invert the Golden Rule. To surround himself with enough important characters that their fortune bleeds into Zhao Mi’s humble life. Walking such a path will require surviving violence, navigating politics, and unraveling conspiracies. The otherworldly knowledge he possesses might give Zhao Mi a chance at emerging unharmed. Whether his modern soul can weather the immorality of life in Jianghu is another matter.
8 148Unprotected Sects
When freshly-graduated Dr. Selva Imroth accepted a short job from her former doktormutter, she had expected to interview a few PhD washouts and write a report to the Dean. Unfortunately for Selva, everything in her life has to be an ordeal. Updates every weekday, but not on the weekend. I hadn't planned on doing NaNoWriMo, but then on Halloween night I was sharing an old plot bunny with a new friend and realized, "oh shit I can actually use this." So, here we are. Thanks, friend. In true NaNoWriMo fashion, I will not be using my typical editing process here, and will instead simply vomit words onto your screen as quickly as possible, trying valiantly to avoid asking myself "oh my god who CARES" because tangents are important to wordcount. [Participant in the Royal Road Writathon challenge]
8 105An Account of Some Strange Happenings in Burdock
After becoming involved in a peculiar murder/suicide investigation, detective Andrew Whitman must uncover the truth about the departed Francis family and their connections to the occult.
8 86