《Ancient's Smashing Reviews》Camp Little Willow - @MayaClaridge
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This is why I never go camping! Screw camping! Pack up boys, we're going smashing!
This week I took some time to read some of 'Camp Little Willow' by .
TLDR; A lovely teenfiction promising adventure, friendships, comedy, and potentially drama later.
Main Character: Smashing! - The MC starts off strong out the gate. Right from the word 'go' you are given some problems, likes, dislikes, impressions, and reasons for drama. This is immediately capitalized on by the other characters and the MC starts making choices that help you come to understand her as a character. There could be more exploration of other aspects of her character and make her interactions more unique with the different side characters, but that is more a fault of the side characters and world building than her.
Side Characters: Mixed bag - The SCs are a mixed bag. There are many of them. While many side characters are good, it is a problem when they are not given unique roles, characteristics, and positions relative to the MC. You have mother. Great. You have aunt. Great. You have goofy peer. Great. You have roommate. Great. Then you also have peer 2, peer 3, peer 4, and possibly peer 5. Can't tell because at that point they blend together, and that's a problem. When I think back on the story half of the side characters disappear as they basically fulfill the same roles and meaning in the story. Half of them are great and make me look forward to more interactions, but the other half make me scratch my head and struggle to remember who they are as the 'first impression' of them doesn't exist. More variety amongst them in characteristics and roles, and more meaningful first impressions would help cement them. This wouldn't be a problem if they were just guest SCs who are there for 1-2 paragraphs or a single arc like the cooks, but I get the feeling they will be used more.
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Grammar and word usage: Minor problems at best - There were a few instances of minor problems like punctuation, but nothing that gave me any problems. There was no confusion at any point with what was written. Only noticeable if you are paying attention closely.
World Building: PAAAAAAAAAAAIN!! - Here is the story's single biggest problem. Everything else is minor and insignificant in comparison. The world building was solid at first. Later there is also promise of good stuff as there is a conflict between two forces over territory that is very meaningful and personal to the characters. Thats great, that's beautiful! But the MC and the world building is shot in the foot by how every single flash back, none of which seemed to have an ounce of meaning, is done through telling, not showing. Characters are presented that aren't in the story, but existed some point in the past, and the MC just decides to information dump me with flash backs about characters that seem to have no relevance, that don't exist in the story, and the events flash-backed-to seem to have no affect past-present-or-future on what is happening. I was sucked out of the story painfully, and this happens multiple times. This world building is so painful because it offers things that are good but also things that are equally painful to read through.
Plot: Smashing! - The plot is solid. The pacing is fast. Right from the first paragraph you are given impressions and everything works off of that. There is a bit of time early on (The entirety of chapter 2) where the plot seems to scid to a stand-still, but it resumes immediately after, with an ever faster pace, with adventure, fun, comedy, and pranks. And I love me some pranks! :D At first glance the story looks like a casual, cute sitcom, but after a few chapters there is promise of something deeper and bigger going on that makes me all the more curious.
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Overall I would rate this a 3 smashing out of 5!
If the flashbacks are done to be more showy and relevant to the story, or just removed, then I would easily see this being 4/5. The pacing easily keeps my attention at the same rate the flashbacks threw me out, and even though half of the side characters kinda disappear into the masses the main character is interesting and personally invested into the adventure, which really is solid work.
I'm out with a smashing!
If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.
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