《Ancient's Smashing Reviews》The Bad Girl is an Agent - @dreamermin36
Advertisement
With the world going to shit these days, people being quarantined, no one taking it seriously, and the dinosaurs coming back, it is important to keep smashing!
This week I took the time to read a few chapters of The Bad Girl is an Agent by .
TLDR; A crime mystery tragedy romance, I think...
Grammar and Word Usage: Not her primary language - Right from the start this single trait has the most profound influence on the entire story. English is not her primary language. Technically the story is grammatically correct, most of the time, but the word usage clearly is based on a different language with a different structure and way of thinking than someone who is a fluent English speaker. This is a problem as it forces the readers to read the same sentence 3-4x, again and again, to understand what is being expressed. This allows no flow and ripples through everything else.
Plot: A mess - The plot is messy and lacks clarity. There seems to be little purpose on first glance to the scenes. Why are people there? What are they doing there? Who are they? Where are they? When are these mystery people doing something I don't know the reason to? Nothing is explained from start to finish. Then there is no explanation of transitions between locations. What little bit of a plot I can piece together do not make cohesive sense. It may say what they do and what the reason is for some (not all but only some) choices, but even then it makes no sense. Its like a story of cross country from Asia to Europe by walking where the motivation is an expiring coupon for Taco Tuesday. I am more confused after I finished than when I started because the facts and reasons and dialogue do not match.
Advertisement
Character: Half and half - The story starts off well. The first chapter is solid characterization but after chapter one it... isn't. I can understand one character because everything to know about him to start off is given when you meet him. The other characters, not so much. Things just happen and, as I said with the plot, there is no explanation. You have internal dialogue without substance. The dialogue feels like another language because, even though it is technically English, the word usage and word structure is confusing.
Overall I would rate this 2 smashing out of five!
The story is rough. The most basic premise of the story looks promising but it feels very unpolished and needs clarity, additional drafts and work, and maybe even beta readers, before that story can be brought out to shine. It has potential for 3/5 or even 4/5 if it improves by leaps and bounds.
The author is not a native English speaker. So I give her full kudos for learning a whole new language and writing a story that uses English in what is technically correct. However, her limited vocabulary and experience limits the story and keeps it from flowing naturally.
Let's smash on out of here!
If you are interested in learning to write, mastering the craft, want some really good reads, or just to chat and hang out with a mature group of adults, feel free to hit me up for a smashing discord book club that has lasted years.
Advertisement
- In Serial62 Chapters
Though the Heavens Should Fall
An action packed twist on Xianxia from the author of The Iron Teeth.The Heavenly Empire expands ever onward. Its loyal and disciplined soldiers march forth to conquer and destroy all of humanity’s enemies while its priests preach the word of the Archon, the long-ago ascended incarnation of God.Verus is a simple young temple ward whose natural talents have earned him a chance to travel to the provincial capital and learn to cultivate ki among the disciples of the Great Wind Sect. Competition is fierce within the sect, but immortality and incredible power await those that triumph.However, nothing is as it seems. Hungry spirits lurk at the edges of reality, treacherous forces swear themselves to dark gods, and there are even greater threats. Evidence of an ancient injustice lies within Verus’s own soul, making him the key to secrets that many will stop at nothing to keep hidden.
8 95 - In Serial7 Chapters
Triblade: Maximum Atomic Fury
In Edo Japan there lives Rengo, a shogun fueled by blind loyalty, Jiyu, a rouge and assassin on the run, Hando, a Native American swordsman in search of his father and the civil war of the Yan and Yin Dynasties. What else could go wong?
8 89 - In Serial83 Chapters
Fight For Her
Fight For Her is now published as a Wattpad Book! As a Wattpad reader, you can access both the Original Edition and Books Edition upon purchase.Scarlet has it all-status, money & a loving quarterback boyfriend. Why then can she not keep her eyes off Elijah, the school's outcast hiding a dangerous secret? ***** Scarlet Tucker attends Royal Eastwood High: a high school where money determines social status. She is top of the ranks as her family owns the biggest chain of auto shops in the Midwest. Her boyfriend, Jack, stands on the pedestal right beside her as a three-time state champion quarterback. But more and more, Scarlet feels disenchanted with her life and her friends. She wants more than the superficial conversations they have--she wants to be heard. When Scarlet runs into Elijah Black, the school's most bullied outcast, not only is she mesmerized by his kindness, good looks, and his ability to listen, but sparks fly, ones that neither of them can control. Scarlet can sense, however, that Elijah is hiding a dark secret. What she unearths is even wilder than she could have imagined. And soon, their lives are dangerously intertwined in a race against time. Can they both survive and make it out alive?Content warning: This story contains scenes depicting violence, which may be triggering for some readers.[PUBLISHED w Wattpad Books: March 9th, 2021][TRAILER: @aflyingwhale]
8 178 - In Serial74 Chapters
Fate
"Fate is well known for its tricks."What will happen, when you accidentally bump into your one and only bias Jungkook in a elevator? Does fate has something to do with it? Will the strings of fate will tie you two together??
8 188 - In Serial17 Chapters
FIRST YOU HAVE TO FINISH - F1 ONE-SHOTS
A book filled with one-shots about our favourite formula one / two drivers
8 211 - In Serial15 Chapters
NaNoWriMo Bootcamp
Do you enjoy a challenge? Do you often wish you had a motivational coach to keep you on task? If so, you've come to the right place! NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) was designed to motivate writers to pen a 50,000 word story during the month of November. And the Bootcamp Mentors are all about motivation, especially when it comes to writing for the Wattys Awards. Read on to learn about an inspiring initiative hosted by the Bootcamp Mentors, in collaboration with Pretty In Punk Book Club, to help you get started on next year's Wattys winning story.
8 173

