requested by:

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Byungchan's POV

"Hey, Y/N. You don't look so well these days, is something wrong?" I asked a worried Y/N.

No response. But I do notice her looking at Subin for a while now. And I think I knew why.

"Is it because of him?" I ask, pointing at Subin's direction. She just nods, not looking away.

"Just tell me what happened," I said.

"You don't know what happened? Almost everyone here knows." She said, slightly shocked.

"Come on, you know I'm not a fan of these things," I said. "Okay sure, I'll tell you then," She replied, sighing.

"You know I like him, right? You better know that." She asked and I just nodded.

"So I confessed, and..." She cuts off her sentence. "And, what?" I ask.

She took a deep breath before replying. "He kinda rejected me." She said, slightly disheartened.

"What do you mean kinda?" I asked, puzzled.

"How he rejected me isn't as painful as a " She said emphasizing the word 'rejection'.

I tilted my head to the side, not quite understanding what she meant.

In the next few moments of our conversation, she explained what actually happened.

She said she felt like she's hurt yet happy about it. It is quite confusing but I still understood how she felt.

"How about ice cream after practice?" I offered.

"I don't like ice cream, and you know I can't," She replied, making me flustered about it.

"Oh, sorry. How about a snack then?" I asked again, and she finally agrees.

Y/N's POV

"I appreciate this a lot, really," I smile after munching on the chips he bought for me.

"Really? It isn't much." Byungchan says.

"It's okay, at least I know someone cares about me. You don't need to be so grand just to make me feel better, you know?" I said, making him satisfied as well.

[♡]

A chat head pops up on the side of my screen.

I replied back to Byungchan.

It took him a while to reply back. He was probably hesitant.

It probably took me long as well since I had to think about it.

[♡]

After school, we started practicing. And the song we were performing was a song that Seungsik wrote. Thankfully, he allowed Byungchan to perform it for him.

He sent me the lyrics with the title 'Slow Goodbye'. I read it thoroughly and felt somewhat hurt.

"Are you sure you want to do this with me?" I asked him.

"Why? Is there something about it?" He asks.

"Haven't you read the lyrics?" I asked him and he just shook his head.

I showed it to him as he scanned through the words.

"Oh, sorry," He apologizes as he held his phone in his hand.

"Do you still want to do it?" He asks me as I was uneasy about it.

"I'm doing it for the incentives," I answered plainly and he just laughs.

---

After a few hours, we wrapped up our practice.

"You actually have a good voice! Why didn't you tell me before?" He says as he packed up.

"I just don't like showing my talents publicly. I prefer keeping it to myself." I explained and he just nodded.

[♡]

A few days have gone by and I've grown a better connection with Byungchan. We got to know each other better which is really interesting.

I could say, as someone who enjoys being alone, I find his company enjoyable.

Today, it's finally the day. I was partially nervous and excited at the same time.

I've never been on stage before but it isn't like I have stage fright or anything. I just don't get the chance before.

As I looked at the night sky from outside the gymnasium, I ran through the lyrics in my mind to ease the tension.

Just a few moments later, one of the admins came to me for the general rehearsal.

As I went on the stage alongside Byungchan, the atmosphere feels different compared to the ground below. It made me carefree for at least a few moments.

We performed the song in one go and it was smoother than I expected.

"So are you ready?" He asks and smiles.

That smile. It gave me goosebumps yet I don't know why. But somehow, it made me relieved.

"Yeah, as long as you're here," I replied which made him smile.

We sat together backstage and watched as people went into the gymnasium. Most of the ones coming in would be in a group of friends.

Whilst waiting, I noticed one group that caught my eyes.

Subin's friend group.

As soon as I knew it, my heart started beating faster. Unnoticeably, my breathing was unstable, and Byungchan noticed it.

"Are you okay? You don't look so well." He asks looking at me.

"Subin is there," I half-whispered to him. He looked at the direction of where I was looking and widened his eyes.

He puts his hand on my shoulder and looks at me in the eyes.

"Don't think about him, okay?" He says seriously, feeling like he's looking right into my soul.

Now my heart was beating faster that I felt like I was about to get a heart attack anytime soon.

I closed my eyes and caught up with my breathing. I repeated in my head "I can do this."

He removes his hand off my shoulder, not removing his glance from me.

"You're gonna do great," He says and smiles. I smiled back and found myself to calm down.

Soon enough, the program started. The main lights turned off and the colored spotlights shone on the stage.

The first few students have done their performances and we were almost about to go on stage.

---

We walked to the center and grabbed the microphone from its stand. Before the instrumental played, I noticed Subin looking at me from the audience.

Byungchan noticed this too and taps my shoulder, making me snap out of it. I looked away and focused.

As soon as we heard the instrumental, we began.

Almost throughout the performance, Subin never removed his gaze from me. But this didn't stop me from continuing.

"Your warmth and scent

Are too clear to accept this

So I shed tears in regret

I want to start again but

We know that we can only hurt each other"

I sang my line, now the feelings started getting to me.

"The saying of letting go because you love them

Though it only existed in novels

But now I know

Because I love you

I must leave for your happiness that I cannot give"

Byungchan and I sang the lines together, reaching the climax of the song. And the last few words hit me.

"I must leave for your happiness that I cannot give"

I felt my eyes water as we wrapped up the song.

The audience made a round of applause and we exited. I hurriedly went down the stage and quickly walked out.

I didn't notice Byungchan was following me.

"Where are you going?" He asks following me from behind.

I ignored his question and sat on the stairs. I looked at the floor below me and let the tears flow freely.

I didn't feel pain nor sorrow. I felt like I needed to release whatever my heart was hiding.

I felt someone sit beside me but ignored his presence. He didn't speak up and just sat there.

And I didn't get annoyed. His company was something I actually longed without me knowing.

Without hesitation, I hugged him and cried on his shoulder.

"It's okay, just let it out," Byungchan whispers in my ear.

Not so long after, I stopped crying and sat up.

"Thanks," I sat whilst wiping away the tears.

"Tell me if you need me. Just remember that there's still someone who loves you." He says one last time and left.

I thought that statement through my head. I felt like he wanted to say something else than just that.

I stood up and ran back inside to find him, but he wasn't there anymore. I checked nearby places and didn't see any sign of him.

"I know he wants to say something better than that," I thought to myself.

I let the night pass by as I sat at a nearby bench. I had my head down, just letting time pass by.

I noticed someone in front of me so I looked up. It was Subin.

He handed me a can of my favorite iced coffee.

"You did great today," He smiled and put the drink in my hand.

"Thanks," I half-heartedly replied and put my head down again. I felt him leave and found peace again.

Not so long after, I felt someone sit beside me.

"What is it-" I thought it would be Subin again but I was mistaken.

"I'm sorry I thought it was-" "Subin? I know I saw him." Byungchan says as he looks down at the huge box he had with him.

He stood up as I looked up at him.

"Remember a few days back when I asked you to perform with me?" He asks and I just nod.

"I was about to tell you how much I appreciate you. But I knew, it would be wrong to tell you through chat." He says looking down.

I just froze since I didn't know how to reply.

"Remember when I gave you a sandwich during our practice? I was supposed to tell you what my heart always wanted to say." He says.

"And now, I've gathered all my courage to tell you..." He cuts off his sentence.

Out of nowhere, I felt my heart skip a beat.

"To tell you, how much I love you," He hands me the huge box so I accepted it.

I moved the can to the side and put the box down.

"I also do," I replied and stood up.

Without hesitation, I hugged him, trying to match his height. I felt him bend down and hugged me back.

[♡]

As soon as I got home, I hopped onto my bed and put the huge box in front of me.

It was a plain blue box with a white ribbon tied to it like a present.

I untied the ribbon and opened the flaps. It was rows and rows of envelopes of different colors.

I opened them one by one.

There were different dates in each letter. They mostly contained him asking me to go out with him, words of how he would confess to me.

A thousand words that contained the letters didn't make me bored.

He probably wrote all these letters but never had the courage to actually give it to me.

I told him once that I admire handwritten letters. That probably made him think of doing this.

And personally, I like his choice of words and even his handwriting.

After reading all of it, I took a picture of all the letters opened. I sent it to Byungchan and said:

"Thank you for filling in the missing piece of my heart,"

A few minutes later, he reacts to the picture with a heart.

03/17/20

1943 words

A/N:

stream howling :))