After the meeting, I stayed in my room to meditate. I didn't comprehend the strange feeling against the force. How could a secret army be created under the council? They are supposed to be the ones with the most power, yet it was undetected. I closed my eyes to reach the force, though the only thing that appeared was Anakin.

Flashes of his smile and laughter filled my head. Memories that were comforting but terrifying to see.

Frustrated, I opened my eyes, throwing myself on my bed. Why must he be everywhere? I touched my lips where he last placed them. I craved more, but I know I shouldn't.

Taking another deep breath, I closed my eyes once more, focusing more than ever. This time, I focused on him.

I saw his blue eyes glimmer with the sunlight. His dirty blonde hair slowly swaying with the wind. He smiled, extending his left arm out for me to grab. I felt the sides of my mouth form a smile. I took his hand.

There was a bright light upon taking his hand. I saw the temple; the yard was full of younglings running around. Some were even using force to move small rocks into a pond.

Laughter filled my ears. It was so peaceful. Quickly that ended; out of the corner of my eye was a dark shadow moving quickly across the yard. Before I could see its face, the force snapped me back to Anakin's face. Moments before, he kissed me.

I sighed, opening my eyes back up. At least there was a bit of it.

Seconds later, there was a knock on the door. "Who is it?" I asked loudly enough for them to hear me on the other side of the wall. "It's Anakin," he yelled back. Perfect timing, I groaned, getting up and moving towards the door.

I opened the door to see his same obnoxious smile I have just dreamed about. "Would you like to come rest by the fire?" Anakin asked, his smile quickly fading away.

He seemed to be distraught. His forehead was sweaty, and his eyes seemed to turn a dark blue. "I would love that," I reply.

When we arrived at the living area, we sat on a small red couch. Silence filled the room, anticipation filling my body. There was something different about him. His posture was stiff; he wasn't happy.

"From the moment I met you all those years ago, not a day has gone by when I haven't thought of you." He says, breaking the silence. My eyes widen, my heart was pounding as though it was going 100 miles per second. "And now that I'm with you again, I'm in agony." his words began to cluster themselves.

"The closer I get to you, the worse it gets. The thought of not being with you... I can't breathe." Anakin says. He hung his head down. I've longed to hear those words, but I knew it was wrong.

"I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me," Anakin added. His eyes met mine stealing my breath away. He inched his way closer, making me hesitantly back away.

"My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a scar. You are in my very soul, tormenting me. What can I do? I will do anything that you ask." There was an overwhelming feeling creeping up my body. He grabbed my hands, cupping them into his.

I was confused. The more I thought about him, the more I wanted him. All I wanted at this exact moment was to feel his lips once again. To feel his body against mine, but the Jedi aren't supposed to fall in love. The silence formed between up was loud.

"If you are suffering as much as I am, please, tell me." Anakin desperately said, tears forming under his eyelids. I wanted to tell him he was in my very dreams. I wanted to tell him I felt the same way. But something was holding me back.

"I can't," I whisper, closing my eyes on how much two words can hurt. "We can't, it's... just not possible." I slowly say. I held back the tears that started to form. "anything is possible, y/n. Listen to me." he said angrily. He didn't understand the circumstances we were both placed in. There was no way we would work.

"No, you listen." I clapped back, standing up walking towards the fireplace. I was frustrated and overwhelmed; every possible emotion there was, I felt. "We live in a real world. Come back to it. You're studying to become a Jedi, and I'm- I'm learning how even to be one." I say desperately, trying to relax.

His head hung down in defeat once again. "If you follow your thoughts through to conclusion, it'll take us to a place we cannot go, regardless of the way we feel about each other," I said, making his head snap up. "Then you do feel something," Anakin said with excitement in his voice.

"I will not let you give up your future for me," I say, making Anakin stand up, walking closer to me. "You are asking me to be rational. That is something I know I cannot do. Believe me, I wish that I could wish away my feelings, but I can't." Anakin said, his eyes glowing from the moonlight.

There was a moment of silence; I was stuck between words and my own thoughts. My heart and head were fighting. "I will not give in to this." I sighed, making him turn around and walk towards the door. "Well, you know, it wouldn't have to be that way. We could keep it a secret." he lowly says, looking back.

Keep it a secret? Yes. It could work, but what if we get caught. NO. They would find out instantly. It would never work under a lie. "We'd be living a lie, one we couldn't keep even if we wanted to. I couldn't do that. Could you, Anakin? Could you live like that?" I asked. He looked to the ground and shook his head. "No, you're right. It would destroy us." He says, looking at me before turning back around and disappearing into the hallway.

Just like that, he left with my heart. I turned to the fire, falling onto my knees. My whole body felt weak, including my heart. It felt as though someone had stabbed my heart with tiny pins. What have I done?