《Winter melancholy》7.
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Pred dvomi rokmi som sa nazvala ľadovou kráľovnou. Chladnou, pyšnou, vzdialenou. V novej etape môjho života - strednej škole - som sa k nej chcela vrátiť. Pretože keď sa ľudia často separujú od teba, chceš sa aj ty od nich. Keď ťa nikto aj tak nepochopí, na čo sa snažiť? Bola som ľadová kráľovná po väčšinou svojho života. Bola som vyššie nad ostatnými, pretože som vždy bola obklopená ľuďmi, ktorí sa ponižovali. Ktorí ma ukladali na piedestál a nerozmýšľali tak, ako ja. A užívala som si svoju moc, ktorá si aj tak vypýtala daň v podobe depresie. Keď posilníš svoje vedomie, osamelosť ťa nezloží a samota ťa posilní. U mňa to tak bolo vždy, no spoločnosť dokáže ľuďom zakódovať do hláv nezmyselné myšlienky, a tak som na to občas zabúdala. A vďaka svojej chladnej stránke som sa aj ja sama stala toxickou osobou pre iných a práve to ma ťahalo k zemi. Spolu s tlakom, ktorý som pociťovala, pretože som si myslela, že musím byť perfektná. Svoju dušu som nechala pod zámkom a ako voda, zamrzla. Pre seba som vybudovala zámok z ľadu, do ktorého som nikoho nevpustila. A ničilo ma to. Takže hoci rezonujem s Elzou, nemôžem povedať, že "chlad mi aj tak nikdy nevadil." A myslím, že po tom, ako opustila svoj ľadový zámok a otvorila brány toho rodinného, ani ona si tým tvrdením už nie je taká istá., pretože chlad vo vnútri musí vadiť. Schopnosti vytvárať ostrý ľad neohrabanými rukami nám zostávajú. Avšak aj z ľadu sa dajú vytvoriť kvety. Moje schopnosti sa občas topia a občas znova mrznú. No ako som povedala, pravda vo mne horí. Teraz to už nie je len ustavičný proces zamŕzania a následného ľútostivého odmŕzania vody. Našla som v sebe oheň.
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hot stuff ☕︎ | richie tozier
'shut it, tozier. i'm just trying to enjoy my summer without you flirting with me''i'm not flirting with you, i'm just being extra friendly to someone who is extra attractive'
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