《I can't make you love me》Chapter 4
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I'm very sorry for the slow updates, I am kind of busy this past few weeks because of our school activities, works, and other agendas. Also, this coming week is our finals, so expect slower updates. Thank you for your patience!
My first week of school went well, but my thoughts didn't.
Napaismid ako sa sinabi ni Alexah. A week after what happened that I accidentally declined Jeremiah's follow request on my Instagram account. I don't want to follow him because I can't take the shame anymore. Napapikit ako ng mariin.
It's not like na gusto ko sya, its just that hindi ko alam ang gagawin, baka akala niyon ay ambisyosa ako because I have the audacity to decline his follow request. He is just Jeremiah Donovan, kung maka asta 'tong kaibigan ko ay parang diyos yung tao.
Teka nga, ba't pa parang bi-ni- big deal ko 'yon?
nanlalaking mata na sikmat ni Alexah.
sarkastikong sabi nya.
Napabuntong hininga nalang ako. Nandito kami ngayon sa apartment namin dahil linggo ngayon at wala naman kaming maisip na puntahan o importanteng lakad. We are just finishing other school assignments. We just agreed to watch netflix movies to fill the boring day after doing our assignments. Nag order lang kami ng pagkain online dahil ubos na ang stock ng aming pagkain at dahil na rin sa parehas kaming tinatamad magluto.
Hindi na ulit namin pinag-usapan ang nangyari kamakailan. Hindi na big deal 'yon at ayoko ng isipin pa.
Parehas kaming napatingin ni Alexah sa pintuan nang may mag doorbell. Dumating na siguro ang in-order naming pagkain.
Tatayo na sana ako nang maunahan ako ni Alexah at mabilis na tinungo ang pintuan.
Pinagpatuloy ko ang aking ginagawa habang hinihintay si Alexah. Napaangat ako ng tingin nang ilapag nya sa harap ko ang in-order naming pagkain. Nag ningning ang mga mata ko at agad tumayo para dalhin ito sa kusina. Nilingon ko si Alexah na 'di ko namalayang lumabas pala at kakapasok lang.
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nakakunot noo kong tanong.
Tumango naman ako at inanyayahan na syang kumain. Napapalakpak pa 'ko sa nakikitang nakahanda na mga pagkain.
natatawang tugon nya habang takam na takam na tinatanaw ang isusunod niyang kakainin.
"
Parehas kaming natahimik, nilalasap ang masarap na pagkain.
Pagkatapos kong kumain ay tumayo na 'ko at hinugasan ang pinagkainan nang tumunog ang cellphone ko na nasa lamesa.
Mabilis kong pinahiran ang aking basang kamay at inabot ang cellphone. May tumatawag and it's unknown number.
Nanlalaki ang mga mata kong tumingin kay Alexah na nakatingin rin sa akin at naka abang.
masayang paalam ko at binaba ang tawag.
Tinaasan lang ako ni Alexah ng kilay na para bang hinihintay ang sasabihin ko.
Ngumisi naman si Alexah
sabi nya at ngumisi.
Bago nag umpisa ang pasokan ay naghanap ako ng ma a-aplyang trabaho. Ilang shop ang pinuntahan ko for part time job, I'm so happy na may tumawag for interview, and sana makapasok.
Pagkatapos namin sa kusina ay bumalik kami sa sala upang ipagpatuloy ang ginagawa.
tanong ni Alexah nang matapos kami at nililigpit ang mga gamit.
Madilim na sa labas ng matapos kami sa mga assignments namin. Masyado yata kaming tutok sa pag-aaral na hindi namin namalayan na gabi na pala. I check my phone and its 6:47 p.m.
Napaisip ako habang pinapasok sa bag ang mga gamit ko. Tumayo naman si Alexah at pinagpag ang pwetan nya.
She just shrugged at tinungo ang tv at pina andar ito.
Habang naghahanap si Alexah ng mapapanood ay pumasok ako ng kwarto at nilagay ang mga gamit ko sa lalagyan. Pagkatapos ay lumabas ako ulit at umupo sa bakanteng sofa.
Although I was still surprised, I had anticipated that college life would be challenging. Yung para bang namamalik mata lang ako, ganoon yung feeling, that in instant, heto kami at unti-unti nang nahihirapan. The power of 'akala ko' words, na mi-mislead ang mga tao dahil nag-e-expect na magiging mabait ang buhay sa kanila. Well, life is good, but not all the time.
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Ang hirap talaga mag-expect. Gaya nalang ngayon, akala ko walang math sa Psychology course.
Wala na 'kong magagawa, it's now or never.
Mga dalawang oras naming ginugol ang panahon namin sa panonood ng movies hanggang sa tinamaan na kami ng antok kaya napag desisyonan naming matulog na at dahil na rin sa may pasok na kami ulit bukas. Ang bilis ng panahon.
Maaga akong nagising, naligo na ko at lumabas ng kwarto. Papunta ako ng kusina nang maalalang wala na pala kaming stock ng lulutuin. Napatampal ako sa aking noo.
Sinuot ko ang aking jacket at nag-iwan ng note sa mesa incase na gumising at hanapin ako ni Alexah at lumabas para bumili ng makakain.
nakangiting bati sakin ni kuya Erik, yung guard sa apartment namin. Ngumiti ako at binati ko rin ito pabalik bago tuluyang lumabas.
I rubbed my both hands in each other and place it to my cold cheeks to give warm. Niyakap ko ang aking sarili habang tumatawid papuntang kabilang kanto para bumili ng pang almusal. Napangiti ako nang may mahagip akong tinapayan. Nang makalapit ay mas ngumisi ako nang makitang katabi lang neto ay lugawan. Hindi naman kami maarte sa pagkain, kaya okay lang.
Marami akong nakita na pamilyar na mga mukha ang bumibili rin dito. Ngayon lang ako nakapunta dito dahil madalas kapag wala kaming pagkain ay bumibili kami online.
Pagkabigay sakin nang lugaw ay tumigil ako sa tinapayan dahil inuna ko kanina nag lugaw. Hinintay kong matapos ang bumibili pagkatapos ay lumapit ako.
nakangiting sagot ng tindera.
Nahihiyang ngumiti naman ako.
sabi at inabot ang pera.
Habang naghihintay ay may naramdaman akong presensya malapit sa aking likod.
bati ng tindera sa bagong dating.
Napatingin naman ako sa aking likod at muntik ko nang mabitawan ang hawak kong lugaw nang makilala kung sino ito.
Napalunok ako nang ibaling nito ang may intensidad at mapupungay na mga mata sakin. Mukhang katulad ko ay kakagising lang din niya at lumabas para bumili. But from what I see now, I can't believe that he lives not far from our apartment! Is this coincidence?
hindi ko namalayang lumabas sa aking bibig.
I snorted when he just ignored me and looked back at the shopkeeper.
I just shrugged. Eh di wow.
Inabot na sakin ng tindera ang binili kong tinapay at medyo naiinis na umalis.
nakangiting pahabol ng tindera.
Tumango naman ako habang nakangiti pagkatapos ay binaling ko ang tingin kay Jeremiah bahagyang naka yuko at nakatingin sa naka display na mga tinapay. Psh! Mas masarap pa ko sa tinapay, tanda!
Agad kong sinapok ang sarili sa naisip at tuluyan nang umalis. Gaga ka talaga self.
🦋
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