All the things that we've lost

Breaking off comes at a cost

And know I miss this mistake

Every word I try to choose

Either way I'm gonna lose

Can't take the ache from heartbreak

Dear Nico,

I shouldn't be writing this letter. I know. You told me, very clearly, to never seek contact ever again. But I couldn't take it anymore. There's so much I want to say to you, and because you changed your number, moved away.

Oh, but as you walk away

You don't hear me say

I still love you. The moment you left, I was regretting every word said, and wanted to do nothing more than follow you, beg you to stay. I didn't. I was frozen from my own actions.

Where's the "good" in "goodbye"?

Where's the "nice" in "nice try"?

where's the "us" in "trust gone"?

Where's the "soul" in "soldier on"?

Now I'm the "lone" in "lonely"

'Cause I don't own you only

I can take this mistake

But I can't take the ache from heartbreak

No, I can't take the ache from heartbreak

Why do they even call it a GOODbye? I don't get it. Never seeing someone ever again, it hurts. I tried, I really did. I couldn't get over you. I've lost my trust in love. I've heard that you have a new lover. I am no longer the person who kisses you awake when you don't want to get up. Someone else gets the joy of hearing your sleepy voice. Some days I wake, and turn around to kiss you good morning, then I realise you're no longer.

No matter how it falls apart

There's an "art" in breaking hearts

But there's no fair in farewell, no

When I see you in the street

I pray to God you don't see

The silent "hell" in "I wish you well."

The last time we spoke, when you moved out, I felt a hole in my heart. We said farewell, but it wasn't fair. Love never is. It breaks and it destroys. That's what you used to think. I made you think differently. Now I believe your words. Love is there to destroy. The past six months have been hell. I barely leave our, my house. I don't have the power to get up from my bed. I've lost motivation

Oh, but as you walk away

You don't hear me say

I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not noticing that you weren't feeling well. I'm sorry for forgetting Bianca's death anniversary. I'm sorry I screamed at you. Never in a million life times I thought I would ever scream 'I hate you' at you, and actually mean it. But I did it anyways.

Where's the "good" in "goodbye"?

Where's the "nice" in "nice try"?

Where's the "us" in "trust gone"?

Where's the "soul" in "soldier on"?

Now I'm the "lone" in "lonely"

'Cause I don't own you only

I can take this mistake

But I can't take the ache from heartbreak

I can't take the ache from heartbreak

I can't take the ache from heartbreak

I can't take the ache from heartbreak, no

I adopted the cat we wanted to adopt. I named her Bianca, to honour you, the only one who could hold my heart. My friends are concerned for me. I don't answer calls or texts, and rarely charge my phone. Every time I get a message, or am being called, I think it's you.

If I could turn back time then I would re-write those lines

If I could turn back time then I would re-write those lines

If I could turn back time then I would re-write those lines

If I could turn back time then I would re-write those lines

I now it's too late now. You've moved on, forgotten me. You probably found a new sunshine. I don't know why I'm still writing. I love Nico, and always have.

Love, Will xx

Where's the "good" in "goodbye"?

Where's the "nice" in "nice try"?

Where's the "us" in "trust gone"?

Where's the "soul" in "soldier on"?

Now I'm the "lone" in "lonely"

'Cause I don't own you only

I can take this mistake

But I can't take the ache from heartbreak

I can't take the ache from heartbreak

I can't take the ache from heartbreak

I can't take the ache from heartbreak

I can't take the ache from heartbreak

Will,

I don't think you'll ever receive this. And if you do, it'll already be too late. I'm breaking my own rule of no contact, but I think that's the last thing I want to do before I go. I told everyone I had a boyfriend. I lied so they wouldn't be concerned of me. Now I know why whenever you were away for a few days, I could barely leave my bed. You were my drive, my motivation. But no I've lost it all. I lost not only you, but my will to live, to continue, to keep fighting against my demons. But when you left, I had no reason to fight. So I gave up. And they've won, Will, they finally outran me.

If I could turn back time, then I would re-write those lines

I wish I never said: 'it's over'. Because maybe I didn't only end our relationship, but also my life. Goodbye Will. I love you. After all this time, and forever.

Nico, yours forever xx