《If You'll Be My Star (Anakin x Reader) BOOK TWO *COMPLETED*》Twenty-Eight

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You let out a gasp as you felt an intense, emotional weight shift through the Force. Pain and suffering. Anakin may have blocked you from the Force Connection, but you could still feel the pain he was experiencing from the disturbance in the Force. You were sure Yoda and other Jedi felt his pain too. Something terrible has happened, that was for sure.

"He's back! He's back!" Beru shouted from outside. You threw off the blanket you were using while you slept and rushed outside. Your heart squeezed at the broken look on his face as he parked the speeder. You knew right away what became of Shmi. Anakin said nothing as he picked up her wrapped body and no one could think of the right words to say as Anakin walked past all of you into the homestead. He cradled her body carefully. He then walked out of the homestead and into the workroom/garage you and Threepio were in last night. He closed the door and everyone awkwardly returned back into the homestead, Beru saying something about preparing Shmi's body for burial.

You stayed where you were and looked worriedly at the closed garage. How could Anakin ever be okay after this? How could he recover from such pain and loss? You knew Anakin needed you, but he would never say it. He was one who never wanted to burden someone with his sorrow and problems. Especially right now with you and not knowing exactly where he stood in your life.

But if Anakin wasn't going to come to you, then you would go to him.

You went into the homestead and to the kitchen where you fixed him a tray of food alongside a glass of blue milk. You quickly, but carefully, carried the tray of food to the garage. Anakin didn't look up from the workbench he was at, repairing a part of the speeder bike.

"I brought you something to eat. Are you hungry?" you asked carefully. Anakin didn't say anything. "Anakin." you called out to him. He stiffened slightly when he heard the sympathy and worry in your voice, but still refused to look at you.

"You blocked me from our connection. I know it is your way of protecting me from the pain you are feeling. I am here for you, Ani. I want to help you through this. You're not alone and you shouldn't suffer in pain alone. But I cannot help you if you don't talk to me." you said to him. You just wanted to take care of him and help him through his grief.

"The shifter broke." Anakin said as you set the tray down on an empty spot on the workbench. "Life seems so much simpler when you're fixing things... I'm good at fixing things... always was. But I couldn't...." Anakin choked back tears as he finally looked up at you.

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"Why did she have to die? Why couldn't I save her? I know I could have!" he grieved as he slammed the tools down, walked away from the workbench, and turned his back to you.

"Sometimes there are things no one can fix." you said softly. "You're not all-powerful, Ani."

"Well, I should be!" Anakin said angrily. "Someday I will be." he said a little calmer as he fought back tears.

"I will be the most powerful Jedi ever! I promise you, I will even learn to stop people from dying." Anakin demanded bitterly as he turned to you. His eyes were red as tears escaped as he subconsciously dropped the block from you and you felt all of the pain and suffering he was keeping from you. How deeply his heart ached for his mother. How he blamed himself for not being strong enough to save her. How broken he truly was in this moment. But beneath all of the anger, sorrow, and grief, there was fear.

"Anakin." you said with uncertainty.

"It's all Obi-Wan's fault!" Anakin shouted as he grabbed a nearby wrench. "He's jealous! He's holding me back!"

Anakin hurled the wrench across the garage and it clattered to the floor. Anakin looked at his trembling hands as if they were not his own. You looked at him, shocked at his fury and actions. There was something more that was troubling him. Anakin turned away in shame.

"Ani, what's wrong?" you questioned.

"I... I killed them." Anakin finally confessed. "They're dead, every single one of them..."

Anakin looked at you as you felt all of the hate he had burned through the connection. "And not just the men, but the women and children too." Anakin added as he took steps closer to you. "They're like animals, and I slaughtered them like animals! I hate them!" Anakin shouted. In one swift motion, his anger crumbled and he broke down into sobs as he sat on the floor. Without thinking, you sat down next to him and took his hand in yours. You were horrified and shocked that Anakin, your Anakin, did this. But you couldn't add to his grief as you held his hand tightly.

"Why do I hate them? I didn't... I couldn't... I couldn't control myself. I don't want to hate them.. But I cannot bring myself to forgive them." Anakin stammered between sobs.

"To be angry is to be human." you reminded him.

"To control your anger is to be a Jedi." Anakin countered.

"Ani," you hussed him. "You're human with human emotions."

"No, I'm a Jedi. We are Jedi. We both know I'm better than this..." Anakin said before breaking down. You wrapped your arms around him as he cried into your shoulder. You gently rubbed his back as you fought back tears of your own. The man you cared for so deeply was breaking in your arms and all you could do was be there for him.

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You both stayed in each other's arms for a long time, even after Anakin shedded all the tears he could. You never let go of his hand as you helped him up and made him eat. As he ate, you stood beside him and leaned your head against his arm with the hand you were holding. You didn't want to leave his side and Anakin was grateful that you didn't. You didn't try to calm him down through the Force Connection, you knew Anakin just needed you by his side as he worked through these emotions.

You grabbed a new set of his robes and had Anakin go wash off the tears and horrors he had seen. You went off and changed out of your outfit as well. You changed into the Jedi outfit you always had carried in the ship. It was an all white one. The inner and outer tunics, your fitted leggings, and belt were all pure white, as white as snow. The tabard and your boots were cream white with a tint of beige to it. Your hair was pulled back into the simple ponytail you usually wore. As much as you missed all the pretty dresses and flashy outfits you get to wear as a senator, you loved the comfort and simplicity of your Jedi outfits. It was a complete contrast to Anakin's outfit when you saw him again. The darkness of his outfit next to the bright, whiteness of yours made both of your outfits stand out. Anakin and you had met back in the workroom, where Anakin just sat in your arms.

To him, being in your arms was the safest and most comforting place he could be in. You would subconsciously play with his Padawan braid. No words needed to be said as he once again took one of your hands in his own.

Eventually, Beru came in and told you both that Cliegg and one of his droids had finished digging Shmi's grave. You both said nothing as you went out to the simple burial. When everyone was ready, Cliegg began his short speech. "I know wherever you are, it's become a better place." Cliegg started. "You were the most loving partner a man could ever have. Goodbye, my dearest wife. And thank you."

A moment passed before Anakin walked over and kneeled in front of his mother's grave. He grabbed a handful of sand as he said his final words to Shmi.

"I wasn't strong enough to save you, Mom. I wasn't strong enough. But I promise I won't fai; again." Anakin said before standing up and letting go the fistful of sand he had in his hand. "I miss you... so much." he said bitterly as he fought back tears.

No one said anything as a distant beep and whistles were heard. Ones you and Anakin knew all too well. Artoo quickly made his way to you and Anakin.

"Artoo, what are you doing here?" you asked the droid. Artoo repeated his beeps and whistles.

"It seems that he is carrying a message from an Obi-Wan Kenobi. Master Ani, does that name mean anything to you?" Threepio asked. You quickly looked at Anakin and you both knew that this message wasn't a good one.

"Let's go see what he said." Anakin said as he walked over to you and Artoo and turned to go to the ship. "Come on, Threepio."

"Oh, right! But are you sure, Master Ani?" Threepio replied as he looked between Anakin, Owen, and Cliegg.

"He is your droid." Owen said as he motioned for Threepio to follow Anakin. "It is only right."

"Shmi would have wanted Threepio to go with you. Go on." Cliegg added. Anakin nodded his head in gratitude as he turned to you. You still stood where you were.

"I'll meet you at the ship. I wanted to pay my respects and say my final goodbye to your mother. If that's okay." you said to Anakin. He gave you a small, sad smile. It meant so much to him that you wanted to do that.

"I'll see you at the ship." Anakin said as he started walking.

"We will leave you to it." Cliegg said as he turned to go back into the homestead. Owen and Beru said quiet goodbyes to you as they followed Cliegg in, leaving it just you. You walked towards her grave and kneeled in front of it.

"I'm sorry we didn't get here in time to save you, Shmi." you whispered, your hand grasped your necklace as you tried to hold back your tears. . "But rest peacefully, knowing that I will still hold onto my promise to you all those years ago. Anakin will always have me in his corner and I'll always look out for him. I care for him far too much not to. We will be brave and not look back."

You stood up and smiled sadly at her headstone. You turned around and went to the ship to hear the message from Obi-Wan.

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