A/N: this was requested by @yumichild !

The day had been rather slow at the shop today. Of course, you still had some customers to greet, business to take care of, kick Uta's ass before he went over his deadline for certain orders. The usual. You just felt like it wasn't all that entertaining, and that was rare considering who your husband was. He seemed... not off, that wouldn't be the right word. He seemed to be somewhere else and had forgotten to ask you if you wanted to tag along with him to his metaphorical wonderland that had dragged him away from his work in the last few days. You couldn't blame nor judge him though; that type of stuff happened to everyone. You would just have to be the patient one in the relationship for once and tough it out. Eventually, he'd let you in on his side of things. It might take days, or it might take years. Uta was just like that. You had to go with the flow.

"Ah, I forgot again," he mumbled as he turned in his stool to face you. The commission he was working on was left discarded for tonight. This time, you weren't going to shit on him for it. You didn't exactly look up from the paperwork you were filling up (because a lawsuit would absolutely ruin Uta's career and potentially out both of you as ghouls, so someone needed to legally protect him because he himself didn't see the need to), but side-eyed him to let him know you were listening. "Kaneki might swing by in a few." And you dropped your pen.

"He got your mask?" Your attention was snatched within moments. You turned your head towards Uta, doubting if he was messing with you or not. You had heard rumours that the guy was alive, but this was new stuff.

"Came to return it, actually. He said it wasn't the right address." You suspiciously glared at him.

"You're fucking with me. God, and I thought the only delusional one was Nishiki." Rolling your eyes, you returned to your work while your husband smirked at your skepticism. Oh, how he'll love your face when you see him and recognize his smell.

"He goes by Haise now though, the doves got him brainwashed I think." As if Uta had orchestrated this entire thing himself (you wouldn't be surprised if he had), the bell to the shop rang and the sounds of many people walking down the hallway reached your ears. From the way they smelled, they weren't ghouls.

"I'm gonna go grab a bite to eat. Do you want something?" Your partner in crime asked. Because as soon as humans walk into the building, Uta finds it hilarious to flaunt all the red, ghoulish flags in front of their ignorant eyes.

"No, I'm good. Come back soon though, in case they want measurements or something." You mumbled as he walked off. Soon enough, the people reached your field of view and wow did you owe Uta an apology. Leading a group of young adults (or teenagers, from how young the blue haired girl looked) was a very, very familiar face. And if that wasn't enough, he smelled exactly like he used to. Absolutely mouthwatering. You hid your state of shock extremely well, though. Having lived with Uta for a while, you got a hold of these things eventually.

"Hello!" You greeted. "Welcome to HySy! How can I be of service?"

Obviously, Haise hadn't expected you. And he was apparently not as good as you when it came to hiding his surprise. "Oh..! Um... is Uta in today? He's the one I talked with the last time I visited."

On cue, the man walked back in. He received odd stares from Haise's little gang of misfits. As if they had the right to judge. One's eyes were triangular, another had shark teeth, the girl was apparently smaller than a toddler and the last boy... oh, he looked familiar alright. That's the sweetheart from the auction. If you had been allowed to participate, you would have bought him in a heartbeat.

So they had turned Kaneki into a (mother) dove, huh?

"It's very nice to see you again, Sasaki." Uta greeted as he stopped near you, leaning on your shoulder as he observed the little squad in front of you. "Let me guess, you're here for masks."

"No, they're here for your world famous apple pie, Uta." You earned a snicker from Jaws as your husband flicked the back of your head with his finger.

"A-Ah, yeah, we're here for masks..." Haise confirmed, obviously feeling like the boss-employee dynamic was off between the two of you. Others might say you lacked professionalism, but Uta's definition of professionalism is far from the norm.

"Don't mind them," he waved towards you while guiding the others to the measuring area. "We're married."

Well, legally? No. Theoretically? Yes. But that doesn't matter.

While Uta had started his little drill, you took out five seats so that everyone would sit. It was a nice little trick you had found to be useful. If one of you had a sudden idea pop in your head, you didn't need to kick off the client on the one stool to replace him

with the other that had sparked a newfound interest.

In reality, you had almost nothing to do with the mask business. Uta had never trained you to take measurements or distinguish materials because, well, HySy was his thing. When he went down, it would go down with him. And you always respected that; you agreed with him. It was the fact that he was behind it all that made it so popular. Every single decision was drawn from his artistic, twisted mind. You were just there to blurt out ideas and if he felt like it, he might think one of them was good.

While your husband worked on Tsundere Triangle, you made your way to Sweetheart and plopped down in front of him. You hadn't even said anything yet and he already seemed uncomfortable. It was amazing. "You're quite the looker, aren't you? People must be throwing themselves at such a frail little thing like you." If you didn't know any better, you'd think he was Kaneki's shy little brother. Yes, shyer than Kaneki himself. This guy was dreading the visit for sure.

Your hand reached out for his eyepatch. "A-ah! No, I'd like to keep it on, please!" Oh, this was just spooky. The resemblance was uncanny. You and Uta shared a look; a very specific look that screamed typical Kaneki. It was a given that Sweetheart's mask would resemble Haise's.

"Mutsuki, they know you're a quinx." His superior reminded him. "There's nothing to be ashamed of."

Nervously, the green haired boy nodded and shakily took off his eyepatch. You examined his kakugan and hummed, blocking his human eye. Yes, Eyepatch 2.0 was in the house. "Are you gay, Mutsuki?" You questioned out of the blue. "Queer? In any way? I know I am." Sweetheart.exe has stopped functioning.

Deciding that it was quite enough teasing, you and Uta switched places. So, the process repeated itself for all the others. Otaku was very accepting of your questions and she answered them with no trace of shame or disdain. It wasn't that fun. Tsundere Triangle responded with single-word answers. No fun there either. Your favourite to mess with was Jaws. And it was Uta's favourite as well.

Being the last one you visited, the guy was already red as a tomato. You couldn't help but smirk at him, which didn't exactly help his case. If anything, he got redder. He did try to grin back at you though, as if it were a politeness thing.

"Jaws, can I call you Jaws?" You questioned. Uta was a few steps away, watching the conversation in hopes of it sparking some inspiration. The teen in front of you hurriedly nodded, as if he were afraid of disappointing you. You crossed your arms over your chest. "Do you find me attractive?"

Haise choked on his own spit. Otaku started giggling and Uta actually jotted something down. Jaws looked like he was about to faint. Or like his soul was about to leave his body. Maybe you had put too much stress on them, but it was just so much fun.

"I'm sure your husband isn't exactly waiting for the answer, (L/N)-san..." Haise muttered in a desperate attempt to save his pupil from the extremely awkward situation.

"Oh, no, I desperately want to hear it." Uta assured. "Consider it a strategy to fight against art block. (Y/N) was always my greatest muse." Haise gave the two of you an odd look. Obviously, he didn't interpret muses the way your husband did.

"Uh..!" Jaws stuttered. "I mean... well, uh..."

"Great! Thank you for your cooperation!" You exclaimed, turning your back on the flustered boy and going back to your one and only. "I have a feeling we got everything we needed, right?" You placed a hand on his shoulder but refrained from looking down at his work. It was always better to leave it alone.

Uta scanned through his notes one more time. "Yes, I think that is all." He had turned to you but you were already at your own desk, flipping through a calendar. He adored how efficient you were. "Make it a priority, my dear." He told you while you nodded.

"The earliest deadline I have is next week." You looked up at Haise almost innocently. "Is that alright with you?"

"That's perfect, as long as Uta-san has more than enough time to work!" The CCG investigator nervously agreed. "But... But what about my mask?"

"Take the one I accidentally sent you. It ended up suiting you quite well." The tattooed man answered while he started to put away his tools. Of fucking course it suited him well, it was custom made.

Without further ado, the mentor thanked you and it was safe to say that everyone was glad to escape the studio. If it had been anyone else, you wouldn't have had as much fun with them, but knowing that it was a one-time visit was motivation for you to make the best of it. After that encounter, your day didn't seem as dull as it did before, which was a bonus.

A snicker escaped you, followed by Uta's own laughter. "They're not gonna get shit done." You giggled. What you had done to poor Haise was evil, but this way there were less chances of them finding info on the clowns, or you for the matter. Who the hell wouldn't run away from the seemingly immortal Eyepatch?

"I can't wait to hear the rumours." Your husband muttered as he walked behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. You leaned back against him, cherishing the moment. Kaneki's visit had given you a feeling of re-living the old days were you and Uta hadn't even talked marriage over yet. It left this odd sentiment of déjà vu within you, but you wouldn't complain.

You kissed Uta's shoulder before resting your head on it. "Date night? I couldn't possibly miss out on that disaster of a mission."

"Absolutely." You heard your husband's mischievous smile in his tone. "It's a date."