A/N: I may or may not have slightly based this off of Panamore's Still Into You... Whoops..? Also, this is sort of a Modern!AU where everyone's human and has a life in a world where ghouls don't exist! Also Tooru's past isn't the same (although it's not really mentioned in this one shot). In this one he had a normal and happy childhood because that's what the poor boy deserved, damn it!

Tooru glanced melancholically at his coffee mug. The coffee mug you had bought him three years ago as a Christmas gift. After so long, he really should have moved on, especially since you had both agreed that parting ways would be best, but... He couldn't.

He should have thrown out these sort of things. Things that just reminded him of you or things you had forgotten to pick up from his place, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He should be moving on, but his heart and mind just missed you so much that he wants to keep everything you had left here and hold it close to him, treasure and cherish it.

It doesn't help that he had to live every day of the week seeing you walk around the university campus, seeing how you had obviously moved on from him and instead of being mad, he just envied you for being able to do so.

Every time he'd see you in class or in between classes, he hated the way his heart fluttered, he hated the way he still felt like there were butterflies in his stomach every time you looked his way to give him a friendly smile and wave of your hand. He was really pathetic for not wanting (or being able) to move on.

He still loved you. He still loved all of you. He loved your bright smile, the one that would never fail to make his cheeks heat up at the sight, that would make him go weak at the knees, the one he would always strive to be the cause of. He loved how your lips slightly curled up and how sometimes you were trying to hide it, which just made the smile itself even lovelier. He loved being able to bring it onto your face by simply smiling himself.

He missed the laugh that would always accompany it. Whether it be small, almost inaudible giggles or loud guffaws, sending you both into hysterics. He often found himself recalling the melodic sound that would bring so much joy to his heart whenever he'd imagine it.

Even if he got to see you (and should be happy about it since it's not everyone who gets to stay in contact with their ex), he missed your bright (e/c) eyes, he missed getting to stare into them until he fell into a deep, peaceful slumber by your side. He missed your silky (h/c) hair that he used to rake his fingers through all the time. He missed being able to be so close, both emotionally and physically, with you.

One day, Tooru was head over heels for you, ready to die for your sake, ready to drop everything for you, and the next the two of you were suddenly falling out? What had he done? He does understand that the two of you were getting distant, the last few weeks of your relationship, but... Why had you gotten distant? Things were going so well. You had gotten so close to him and he, to you.

He was absolutely miserable without you. His grades were falling, he found himself easily distracted (mostly thinking of you instead of doing what he was supposed to do), he spent countless nights thinking of how much better things could have gone if he hadn't agreed to the breakup so quickly while the other nights of the week, he cried himself to sleep, missing the heat you provided him by sleeping next to him.

Mutsuki talked with you, though, and was doing an amazing job at hiding the fact that he was so heartbroken because of you. He hid it all behind a genuine-looking smile, faking the fact that he was still into you by avoiding you unless it was necessary for the two of you to have a conversation.

He still had your contact in his phone, he still briefly texted you if he needed information about a few things he had missed in class (due to his daydreams about you), never once thinking about blocking you like how so many other people would have done. He still pounced on his phone whenever you texted him back, just like he did when the two of you were still together.

He sometimes scrolled through conversations the two of you had when you were away from each other, late at night. Those had always been his favourite, since you happened to be incredibly forthright when you were tired, but you never hurt him. Instead, you were gushing about how much you missed him and would always send him lengthy paragraphs explaining just about everything you loved about him. Those messages never failed to make him smile when he'd read them, but he'd always wonder... Why had things gone the way they did if you felt like that about him?

Tooru glanced out the window, frowning at the heavy rain pouring outside. It seems the world was in the same mood as him. Thank goodness he didn't have to go to class today, because that would have been a pain.

He really felt bad for anyone that had been stuck in the rain. It wasn't pleasant, no matter how much movies seem to picture otherwise. He knew it from experience from that one time you had dragged him outside to test out the scenario everyone seemed to deem 'romantic'. The two of you had gotten back inside soaking wet and convinced that no, kissing in the rain was not the most romantic thing to do, although your soft, warm lips made him forget the freezing rain fairly easily.

He took a sip of his now lukewarm coffee, nearly choking on it when his doorbell rang.

Wiping the remains of the liquid off of his face, the man made his way towards the front door, puzzled about who would be out of their mind enough to get out of their house on a day like this.

Opening the door, his breath hitched when his eyes landed on you. For an instant, he hoped you had come to apologize and ask him for a second chance, but seeing as none of the emotions necessary for such a confession were present in your eyes, he doubted it.

"I'm really sorry for dropping in so unexpectedly, but my car decided to be a bitch and broke down a few streets over." You apologetically said, shivering.

"Oh, it's fine! Come in, you look like you're freezing!" The male exclaimed, stepping aside to let you in the house and close the door behind you.

You guiltily watched as droplets of water ran down your arms and legs before falling on the floor, slowly but surely wetting it. "I'm sorry for dripping all over your floor."

"Don't worry about it." Tooru flashed you a small but fake smile. "I'll go get you some clothes to change into, stay right there!"

With that, the man hurried off into his bedroom to grab you a pair of sweatpants, a T-shirt and a towel, speed-walking his way back to you.

"You can dry yourself off with this, and then change into this." He explained, neatly folding the towel and clothes before placing it down a bit further away from you so you wouldn't soak those too. "I'll be in the kitchen."

"Thank you, Mutsuki." You said, nodding at him, which the male took as his cue to leave you to change all alone.

Once in the kitchen, he leaned against a counter, sighing in frustration. Why did he seem so desperate? Was he trying too hard right now? Why did his heart have to beat so fast? And most of all, since when did you back up into a last name basis with him? In class, Thursday, you had called him 'Tooru' without any signs of discomfort, so why was he all of a sudden 'Mutsuki'? 'Mucchan', he understood. That was more a term of endearment for you both and it would seem weird if you used it while not being together, but Tooru? Was he just an acquaintance now? Were you uncomfortable around him?

Damn, if that was the case, it sort of hurt.

Tooru didn't have the time to think about it furthermore, since you stepped into the kitchen and sat on a stool in front of him. "So, uh... Could I borrow a phone? I don't want to bother you and overstay my welcome..." You awkwardly said, avoiding eye contact by picking at your nails.

"Phone line's dead." Tooru muttered. "I think there's a big optical cable that got cut off or something."

"Ah, of course." You sarcastically said, a small smile tugging at your lips. "That seems like my typical luck, doesn't it?"

Tooru chuckled at your remark. Indeed, it is just your type of luck. "Yeah, you always were pretty unlucky. But you always managed to weasel your way out, I'm sure this time won't be any different."

"Hm, yeah..." With that, you crossed your arms in front of you before resting your head on top of them, gazing outside. "Again, I'm sorry for dropping by so rudely without telling you first."

"Don't be, you know I don't mind." Tooru sternly said. You always had a thing about stuff like this, insecurities of accidentally doing something and causing someone to despise you for it. "It's alright, anyone would do what I've done. You're my friend after all."

Mutsuki missed the way you frowned for half of a second at the mention of the word 'friend'.

"How... How are you holding up?" You asked, subtly trying to change the subject.

How was he holding up? What did you mean by that? Did you mean how he was doing at school, how his life was at the moment? Did you mean to ask about his health? About how he was handling the breakup?

"I miss you." The man slapped a hand on his mouth at the statement that he had said before he could filter his words in a more low-key answer.

You sat back up straight at his answer, frowning. You felt terrible for what you had done to him, and you missed him as well, but... He deserved so much better than someone like you. You had realized it when the two of you got closer, and it felt terrible to know that you were being selfish by keeping him to yourself when you didn't even deserve someone like him. How you hated being selfish...

"I'm sorry about that, Mutsuki." You quietly said, eyes proving that you were indeed telling the truth. "You'll find someone better, I promise."

Better? What did you mean, 'better'? You hadn't done anything wrong, you hadn't been hurtful or mean, either. What the hell was 'better' supposed to mean.

"'Better'?" The male asked, grimacing at how the word left a bad taste in his mouth, considering the context.

"No, I'm sorry, you deserve a lot more than just 'better', you're right." You answered, thrown off when Tooru's face simply fell into confusion.

"What are you going on about? I miss you."

"And... I'm really sorry that you feel that way." You repeated, staring at the window to avoid having to look at the boy's expression. What was the right thing to say? What would cheer him up? You didn't want to make him upset.

Mutsuki sighed. He should have known this was the reason for the fall out... Ever since he had gotten closer to you, he noticed you had a lack of self-worth. He should have watched out for it...

"I don't... Can you tell me why we broke up again, (Y/N)?" Mutsuki asked calmly.

You seemed to tense up. "We... We were falling out. You told me you noticed as well... I thought it would be better if we stopped before things got out of hand."

"And why were we falling out?" The male asked, glancing outside the window as well, watching as the sky wept for you both.

"I... I don't know." You said, although it was painfully obvious that you were lying.

"I think I do." Tooru muttered before directing his attention towards you again. "You're an amazing human being, (Y/N). You deserve the world, and I'm really sorry that you can't see that for yourself, but you don't have to push me away because of it."

You glanced back at him, worried. "That's not--"

"It is." He interrupted. "I can't believe it took this long for me to realize it, but I deserve happiness as much as you do and for me, happiness was being with you. Now, I understand that if I'm not seeing the situation correctly, happiness for you might not be the same for me and I won't force you into anything, but... If you love or have ever loved me, why would you let go and make us both unhappy?"

You looked down at the counter as guilt filled your insides. He was right, you had let your insecurities get the best of you again.

"I miss you, (Y/N)." The man in front of you said for the third time. The only thing different this time was your answer.

"I miss you too, Tooru."