A/N: This contains SPOILERS for those who haven't finished the manga, NEAR DEATH experiences (and I mean like murder bc it's Furuta, duh) and COARSE LANGUAGE. Read at your own risks!!

I have NO idea about how I feel about Furuta, so this might not be my best one shot ever (although I'm super hyped to write it). On one side, I really don't like him for taking advantage of others and stuff like that but listen I also feel super bad for him because I mean the poor guy had an awful life and everyone seemed to keep leaving him. He's just so broken I'm--

This was requested by @XxCrossbow_IVxX

I hope you enjoy!!

Lol Furata has so many names I didn't know which one to put in but oh well Nimura it is (I was about to go with Washuu Kichimura instead but I realised the title on its own would be a spoiler if I did that oops).

"Well, well, look who swung by!" You exclaimed, flashing your boyfriend a smile as soon as he entered your kitchen. "Thought you were working today?"

"Hm, I could ask you the same, dear." He hummed, sitting down at the table and leaning his head on his hand, watching you wash the dishes.

"My squad had a day off." You answered nonchalantly, still eyeing him with a suspicious glint in your stare. "What's your excuse?"

"Kijima-san let me go today!" He happily exclaimed before giving you a heartwarming smile. "I thought you'd enjoy my company."

"You thought right, then." You replied. The way you seemed to melt at the sight of his smile did not go unnoticed by neither of you. "God, why are you so adorable?"

Nimura simply chuckled at your question, but it was deeper than he thought you had meant.

How was he so okay with all of this? Ever since you managed to dig up all that information on what Furuta truly was, you had always wondered how he seemed so... Normal. As if his fate didn't faze him at all. Or maybe he was just a really good actor, you didn't know, although it made a lot of sense. You were just impressed that he could keep it together so well.

Not that you'd ever approach him on the subject. That was the last thing you wanted to do, break his little fantasy world in which his life was normal. Instead, you made it your goal to make him feel loved and let him know that unlike many people in his life, you're not going anywhere any time soon.

"You okay? You've been zoning out there, (Y/N)." Nimura teased, poking your cheek with his pointer finger. When had he gotten this close?

You shook your head, attempting to focus back on reality. "Oh? Sorry, I guess I was lost in some thoughts." You apologetically said.

"Is something bothering you?" He asked, eyebrows furrowed in concern and leaning closer to you.

"I'm good, thanks for the concern." You quickly said, pecking his lips before returning to drying the rest of the dishes.

Apparently, Nimura was not going to take that as the final answer.

He wrapped his arms around you, pressing his face into your back. "You know you can tell me, right? You can tell me anything." He muttered, although there was a darker undertone in his voice, which you picked up.

"Same goes for you." You retorted, forgetting to filter your words before speaking. You didn't mean to make it sound so accusatory, it just slipped out...

Shit.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Furuta chuckled. "Do you think I'm lying to you?"

"No, of course not." You said, trying your best to mask your nervousness. If he knew you were aware of everything, how would he react..? Not positively, that's for sure. The records you had on him proved that point well enough.

You placed the last dish in place, nervous to turn around and meet his gaze. If he was acting like you thought he was, he'd have no trouble knowing you weren't being completely honest right now. Hell, you were a terrible liar, acting or no acting, he would know you weren't telling him the truth, period.

"(Y/N), turn around." He asked (well, it sounded more like ordering to you). "Please."

You did as he asked, albeit hesitantly, turned around and leaned against the sink, looking at him in the eye. To make sure you wouldn't look away, Furuta cupped your cheeks.

"What's wrong? What are you hiding from me?" He questioned, and as worried as he was trying to sound, you could spot that faint glint in his eyes. Distrust.

Your eyes went to the right.

"Look at me." He demanded. You were too scared to defy him right now. "There's something you're not telling me and I want to know. After two years, do you still think I'm unworthy of your trust?"

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. What was the best way to break it to him? Directly? Indirectly? Hint it here and there? Do you just have him sit down while you go get the multiple folders about him that you hid in your room and let him see things for himself? Do you attempt to lie again?

"(Y/N). I'm worried..."

"I know." You stated, keeping your eyes closed.

"Then tell me--"

"No, I mean I know."

You felt the grip on your cheeks tighten a bit, causing you to open your eyes to take a look at his reaction. It wasn't pretty. His eyes seemed to darken, even if he tried to hide it with a soft smile that was painfully fake.

"Know what, honey?" You never heard a term of endearment sound so threatening before.

"Everything. I heard about the garden, about Rize, about... About your condition, I know you're not human. And I'm really sorry, Nimura. Or Souta, whichever you prefer right now."

You expected him to freak out, to lash out at you, hell you wouldn't be that surprised if he just full out revealed himself as a one-eyed ghoul and killed you right there, but the only thing Furuta did was laugh. His amusement didn't reach his eyes, however. They remained dark and dull.

Once he calmed down, Furuta took a deep breath. "Ah, it sucks..." His hands stroked your cheeks before slowly inching lower until they were wrapped around your neck. "I really liked you. Why'd you have to go and ruin our fun? How long have you known?"

"The first thing I lea--" Nimura's grip on your neck tightened, shutting you up.

"Don't talk." He darkly muttered. "I don't care. Just shut up."

You decided to listen to him. Even if he was probably going to kill you anyways.

"You know I can't have you running around spreading the truth, right?" He said, a hint of mockery in his voice. "Can't have my reputation ruined by one of my own pawns after all."

A pawn. That's all you were to him? Just someone he manipulated into loving him? What was he planning to do with you later? Have you sacrifice your life for him? Do his dirty work without even knowing it?

The worse part in all of this was that even if you knew about his horrible background, you'd still do it if he asked. You'd throw yourself off a building if it was for him.

"I'm going to kill you now!" He sang out, a wicked smile appearing on his face. A wicked and broken smile. "I'm going to watch the light leave your oh so pretty eyes. Isn't it exciting? You'll die by the hands of the one you loved most! Doesn't it hurt?! Doesn't it betrayal hurt so much?!" He exclaimed. Although he was trying to pass as untouched by the act he was about to commit, his eyes and hands told you a different story. If he was so indifferent about killing you, why were his fingertips shaking? Why were his eyes filled with hurt?

"Then do it." You said, impressed by how stable your voice was. You were calling his bluff. His threats were empty.

Your answer shocked him greatly. Furuta had seen and felt a lot of shit in his life, but this was a new (and unwelcomed) feeling. Your words tugged at his heartstrings, it made him... hesitant. But he shouldn't be. You were just a toy, a pawn, something he used to get to his goals, to fulfill his needs. Why was there a part of him that wanted to keep you alive, despite the dangerous information you were aware of? Whether you were alive or dead wouldn't make a difference in the end, no? He'd still die one way or the other, the only difference being that if you lived, his death might be much earlier than he had planned.

...Was that the difference? Of course it was. He was nihilistic, after all. He just had to kill you and once it was over, he'll laugh at his own hesitance.

Yet, as much as he tried, his hands would not squeeze your throat any harder. For someone like him to hesitate over something as simple as murder, there had to be something dead wrong with him, but he had been so careful during the two years he had known you, it couldn't be...

"It's okay if you want to kill me, Nimura." You added, seeing his hesitance.

"Shut up..." He muttered, deep in his inner debate. You were not helping at all.

"I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere unless you want me to. So do it. If you think I'm unworthy of your trust, kill me." Your hands went to his wrists, almost urging him to end your life right there.

Apparently, Furuta hadn't been careful enough. With a single touch, you sent the answer to his problem rushing through his veins, causing him to let go of your neck and stumble backwards, gripping his wrists as if you just burned him.

Damn it, why did he have to love you?

"Don't fucking touch me." He spat, shooting you a glare. Oh, how he hated you for making him love you.

You simply looked at him, confusion obvious on your face. What happened to the Nimura that seemed so ready to murder you right there and then? Why was he looking at you like you were the one killing him?

"Nimura..."

"Don't fucking say my name!" He added, looking you dead in the eyes. "Why?" He asked, although he didn't exactly know what he was questioning right now.

He looked absolutely broken, as if he let his façade down. Which he did, by accident. It was just too much to bear. All this time, he thought he was the one manipulating your feelings while in reality, you were manipulating him just as much as he, you. And that would certainly cost him his life. You'd go and tell everyone, no? Especially since now, you know he's capable of murder...

"I don't know what got you so upset, but... I'm not going anywhere." You calmly said. "I kept your secret for five months now, and I'm not planning on stopping right now. Like you said, I'm your pawn, and I'm loyal."

He hated the relief that flowed through his body because of your words. They could just be lies, and Furuta couldn't do anything about it because apparently, he loves you. It just didn't make sense. He was able to hurt Rize and love her at the same time, but it's as if you're a completely different case altogether.

"I understand if you want to cut all contact with me though. I won't be mad." You said apologetically. "I'm sorry it had to be this way."

What, now you were breaking up with him? You were more clever than he originally thought. Getting him to fall for you only to break his heart just when he realized he was still capable of loving. How cruel of you to break his little fantasy world in which he could be normal for once.

Furuta desperately wanted to go, to leave you and assure you that you'd never have to speak to him again, but the walls he had built to distance himself were already all broken down into dust.

"I don't want to go." He spoke before he could stop himself.

Hell, his tone of voice broke your heart. Did you ever give him the impression that you wanted him to leave? "You don't need to."

You took a few steps towards him, stopping when he flinched. Right, he didn't react well to physical contact earlier either. "Nimura, I don't want you to go either. I just... I thought you'd be the type to leave me in the dust because of what I knew."

Now wasn't that funny? Because it was true, he would have been the type to do that, if you hadn't played so well in this little game he initiated between the two of you. Or well, what used to be a game.

"I don't think I'd be able to even if I tried." He chuckled. Things weren't going the way he wanted them to, but... He could improvise, no? Just for you.

You decided that was enough talking. Quickly closing the distance between you two, you tackled Furuta in a hug, burying your face in the crook of his neck while his arms wrapped around your back and his face ended up in your hair, taking in the intoxicating scent.

"I'm sorry for trying to kill you." He half joked. Somewhere inside, he knew those words were somewhat genuine.

"'S all good." You assured, giggling. "I forgive you."

Those three words hit Furuta hard. You had fucking annihilated any kind of defense he had inside himself. He knew that from the way you said it, you forgave him for it all. He didn't know he needed to hear that so much until you said it.

The only thing he could do to avoid letting his feelings out was hug you closer to him, although you already knew why he was doing what he was doing.

As much as he hated it, Furuta loved you. And like a pawn, he'd sacrifice anything if it meant you'd stay by his side. The only thing he could do was feel grateful that you'd do exactly the same for him if it came down to it.

EXTENDED ENDING BECAUSE I HAD AN ANGST OPPORTUNITY AND I FREAKING TOOK IT.

Everything had gone to shit. Furuta had nothing left to lose, did he? Hell, even his sanity had left him.

Because of a tiny little slip up, he had lost you, too.

"You saw the city of Tokyo, didn't you?!" He exclaimed, flashing Kaneki a wicked smirk, relentlessly attacking him. Even if Furuta blamed himself, it was sort of Kaneki's fault as well that you had died. "How'd it look?! How'd it look?! Streets choked with the foul stench of the dead! Are you satisfied? Bodies of both humans and ghouls felled by your hands!"

With particularly violent swing of his kagune, Nimura attempted to crush Kaneki, who swiftly dodged the hit. "How does it feel to know you killed them all?! You killed them!"

While he meant to talk about the majority of Tokyo's population, his mind made the mistake to drift and picture your bright smile instead.

How does it feel to know Kaneki murdered you as well?

How does it feel to know that if things had taken just the smallest turn, he could still have you by his side, living his life to the fullest with you?

It felt horrible.

That slight moment of hesitance was his downfall. Within mere moments he was incapacitated. It's not like he gave a shit, though. The images of you flashing through his mind just made him yearn to be with you right now. He was awaiting death as if it was a reward.

Furuta weakly chuckled at how pathetic he was right now. Glancing up at Kaneki, he flashed him a weak smile. "If I told you I just wanted to live a normal life with (Y/N), you'd laugh, wouldn't you?"

Kaneki felt an incredible amount of sympathy for the man who had murdered so many people, his loved one included. "...no." He answered truthfully. "I'm sorry about what happened to them."

Nimura laughed a hollow laugh.

"I'm sorry about that too."