A/N: WHY DOES HANBEE HAVE NOTHING?? He's such a sweet guy what the h*ck and I love him. Yet, I just give him angst and the worst possible. I'm a horrible person and I am aware of that fact.

MINOR TRIGGER WARNING!!!

By the way, the reader doesn't return Hanbee's feelings in this, and I don't support leading someone on, okay? It's just that the reader's scared to hurt people's feelings and lead the poor Hanbee on (both subconsciously and not). They did it, but don't follow that example and do it in real life.

Heads up, this has ANGST and SEXAL CONTENT. Not an actual smut scene, it just suggests some stuff. Really bad stuff.

Hanbee helplessly watched as you took down the ghoul who was about to kill him, cutting its head clean off. Quick and painless, something only you'd do, out of fear of harming the ghoul too much. Hanbee had always loved how considerate you were, even towards ghouls. You could think so much in mere seconds, summing up the best plans he had ever heard of in the most tense and hopeless situations. You had a mind like no other. Without you, he doesn't know what the squad would do. He doesn't know what he'd do if you weren't there for him.

"Hey, it's done, it's alright." You reassured, taking his hand in yours and pulling him up without struggle. How strong you were, for someone your size. So much potential, and none of it was wasted. "Glad I got here before the ghoul killed you!" You said optimistically.

"I'm sorry for being such a burden." Hanbee spoke once he was stable on his feet. Ah, there's the awful feeling of hatred he felt for himself. He had forgotten about it for an instant.

"'Sall good," You waved off, before stopping. "Wait! I mean, you're not a burden! Not at all! I appreciate you as a co-worker and a friend, so you're not a burden by any means! Thanks to you, I had an open shot back there! How's that being a burden?" You quickly said, trying to take back your words. He was by no means a burden.

"Thank you, (L/N)." Hanbee answered, fighting back a chuckle at how desperate you seemed to let him know he wasn't a burden. "I appreciate you as well." He added, slightly smiling. That was far from the feelings he actually had for you, but he knew to keep those hidden since you deserved far better than him.

"Aw, thank you Abara!" You said, opening your arms but stopping yourself before asking; "Can I hug you?"

Hanbee nodded (a bit too quickly) but tensed up once your arms wrapped around his body, obviously flustered.

"You can hug back if you want." You said, your voice slightly muffled from having your face pressed up against his chest, heart beat speeding once you allowed him to return the affectionate gesture. You could probably hear it loud and clear, but he payed no mind to that detail right now. The two of you remained that way, ignoring the bleeding, decapitated ghoul behind you for a while until-

"Hanbee! (Y/N)! The clean up squad's coming soon, you can be a cute couple after we report to them!" Your squad leader said, smiling at the sight of you both.

Hanbee quickly lets go of you, internally whining at the lack of physical contact, while externally whining at his boss. "Suzuya-senpai! (L/N) and I aren't- we're not- That's unprofessional!" He said, looking at you in dire need of assistance, seeing as his heated face was causing his brain to overheat as well.

You, however simply shrugged. It's not that big of a deal, right? For all you know, Juuzoou's just trying to get a reaction out of you both, and as much as you love playing along with your superior to embarrass and annoy Hanbee sometimes, you didn't want to include yourself in his to-embarrass list.

Hanbee watched as you walked up to your squad leader, apparently unfazed by being mistaken for a couple. What does that mean? That you do see him that way? Of course not. You'd never go for someone as cowardly as him and weak as him. But if you didn't want people to think the two of you were together, wouldn't you have said something? But then, look at him. He harbours feelings for you and there he goes trying his best to let his mentor know that the two of you aren't a thing. This is such a complicated subject...

••••

"Hey!" You joyfully greeted as you sat in front of Hanbee, smiling brightly. He nearly had to squint his eyes to look at you. What a bright smile you had. He was sure you could use it in battle to distract the enemy.

"Uh, hi..." He hesitantly said. What were you doing eating at the office? "Why aren't you out for lunch?" He asked.

"I felt like hanging out with you, it's been a while!" You explained, pulling a sandwich and an apple out of your bag.

Hanbee eyed your small lunch. "That isn't much, (L/N). You should take better care of your health."

"Don't worry, I usually have a good breakfast and dinner! This is just because I scheduled my grocery shopping day a bit too late and this was all I had." You said, biting into your sandwich, carefully chewing and swallowing the food. "How've you been?" You asked.

Hanbee slightly frowned, placing his fork down. He felt awkward eating in front of you, for some reason. It was such a gross act to perform in front of you. Yet, you could do it without looking as disgusting as he. How were you so perfect? "We've seen each other numerous times today, (L/N)-"

"Please, call me (Y/N)." You cut off, smiling sweetly.

Oh gosh, first name basis? Had he gotten there already? Should he actually call you by your first name? That would be inappropriate, no? But, if you asked him to, who was he to refuse your request?

"Oh, I'm so sorry for interrupting!" You said, finally realizing what you had done. You might be quick and bright in battle, but when there wasn't any stress or pressure, that was an entirely different thing. Although, you could channel in that talent of yours if needed, which was just one of the numerous other things Hanbee loved about you. "Please, continue what you were going to say!" You asked, slightly bowing your head in apology.

"N-no need to apologize, I don't mind!" He said, waving his hands in front of him as a failed attempt to stop you from bowing. "And I was going to say that we've seen each other a lot of times today, so why ask how I've been? We're literally in the same squad."

And why would you worry about my well being? I'm not worth the headache. Hanbee bitterly thought to himself.

"I was wondering how you've been, you know, out of work! I want to hear about your life, if you're okay with it!" You had recently realised that despite being friends with the tall man, you knew practically nothing about him, and you wanted to change that. What kind of friend knows nothing about their other friends? And you were sure Hanbee would like having someone he can talk to about casual things instead of work all the time.

Hanbee was slightly taken aback. Apparently, you do care about him quite enough. He felt his heart swell up at the thought. He just wanted to spill everything about his personal life to you if you asked for it, but refrained from doing so. That would be extremely rude and probably overwhelming for you.

"My life is quite boring, there isn't anything conversation worthy that's happened recently." He said, which wasn't exactly a lie.

"Not even something about Suzuya-san?" You asked, pouting slightly. "There has to be something! You're a cool guy with a great sense of fashion, your life certainly isn't boring!" You said, efficiently cheering him up. You thought he was cool?

"My sense of fashion isn't that great..." He said, looking to the side.

"Uh, are you kidding? I would literally hire you to help me find a new wardrobe! I know you find it painful to see me walking in public in gym clothes all the time!" You teased.

Hanbee shook his head, trying to reassure you (and himself) that no, he doesn't find it painful, but... He couldn't find it in him to lie to you. "I... I'm sure you have good clothes in your closet, (L- (Y/N)..."

You laughed. "I knew you found my style odd! But it's okay, I'm not insulted, I know it's bad, I just can't seem to find motivation to go out and find better clothes." You explained, sighing.

Hanbee couldn't believe he was about to say this, he really couldn't, but this was his chance to spend more time with you, and get to finally enjoy his time off work... "I could help you out. You won't need to 'hire' me, of course. I'll do it for free. But you're not forced to, of course, I'm just saying that I wouldn't mind if you ever need help."

Your eyes lit up at his proposition. "Really? Oh my gosh, thanks! You have Saturday off too, right?" You asked, leaning forwards for his answer.

"Yes, just like the rest of the squad." He said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

"Great! Here," You took out a note pad and a pencil from your backpack, scribbling a few numbers and words on it before giving the piece of paper to Hanbee. "I'm usually up by 9:30, so you can swing by any time after that! Here's my phone number, and my address. The landlord's chill, he'll let you in if you mention your name, since I talk about you sometimes!" You said, getting up and gathering the empty sandwich back and your half eaten apple.

Holy crap, you just gave him your phone number and address. You trusted him with personal information like that. Hanbee seriously felt so unworthy right now.

"Thank you so much, Hanbee! I couldn't ask for a better friend, see you Saturday! I look forwards to hanging out with you!" With that, you (skipped) walked away, happier than before.

Hanbee's chest tightened at the painful reminder that he was indeed just a friend. He wanted to be so much more, but he'd be stuck in the friendzone because he just couldn't stop himself from falling for someone who was so out of his league.

••••

At the sound of knocking at your door, you set down your book, glancing at the clock that read 11:43 and frowned. Who'd be visiting you at this hour? You quietly got up and went to the door, checking who it was before actually opening the door to Hanbee.

"Uh, hey." You spoke, slightly confused. "What brings you to my lovely abode?" You asked, trying to lift the now gloomy mood. What happened to him?

"I have some feelings I need to get off my chest." Hanbee stated. "It's nice to see you wear the clothes we bought together, by the way. Off-white wool looks great on you." No apologizing for coming unexpected, no avoiding gazes, just direct confrontation and... compliments?

"Are you drunk?" You skeptically asked.

"No," Hanbee flawlessly lied. "Just incredibly brave right now." He was so wasted right now, drinking away the pain you unknowingly gave him. "Besides, you know I don't drink." Well, that used to be true.

"Alright, want to talk in the living room?" You proposed, pointing behind you. You had a bad feeling about what ever he needed to get off his chest. "Please tell me you didn't kill a human." You said, half joking.

Hanbee shook his head, before grabbing your shoulders and looking in your eyes. Well scratch that, he was gazing into your freaking soul. Hanbee leaned forwards to get to an eye-to-eye level. You swore he was going to say 'look, son...' next.

"I love you, (Y/N). I have for a while and I need you to love me back. It hurts so much when you call me a friend, and you give me so many mixed signals that I just don't know anymore. I can't bear it. I tried, I really tried to ignore it but I really love you and I want you to love me back."

Well, that wasn't what you thought he'd say, but it was so much worse. You knew Hanbee held some kind of affections for you, but you always thought they were similar to how he felt about Suzuya. You seriously thought he was aromantic for the longest time...

But what could say? How could you lay him down easy? There was no way, and you categorically refused to break Hanbee's heart. Not today, not ever. This was your friend. You knew if you refused his feelings he'd be ashamed to no end and would avoid you for the rest of eternity, which you did not want.

What were your options? You had very little. Break his heart? No. Not answer at all? Knowing him, he'd still take it really badly.

Pretend..?

What other option did you have? You probably lead him on, you have to face the consequences for your actions, and they weren't going to be for Hanbee. You'd take those consequences yourself.

You were snapped out of your quick thinking when Hanbee boldly pressed his lips against yours for a brief moment before pulling away. "Sorry, I panicked." He said.

This was so out of character for him... He said he wasn't drunk, so that wasn't it. And you knew he wouldn't do drugs, so that's out of the question too... Was he just that nervous?

"It's okay, Hanbee." You said, shaking your head. "I..." Boy, this was difficult to say. "I accept your feelings, Hanbee."

The tall man smiled at your words. You never saw a smile that wide on his usually worried face. "Really?" He hopefully said.

"Y-yeah..." You confirmed, hesitantly nodding. "I like you too."

You didn't have much time to react (despite your quick reflexes) when he wrapped his arms around you and leaned down to kiss you once more.

You pushed down the unpleasant shivers coursing through your spine as you slid your arms around his neck, forcing yourself to kiss him back. He was so happy about this, how could you have turned him down?

Yet, it felt so wrong to kiss him like this. He was your friend, damn it. You're probably just be hurting him even more. What will happen? Will you remain with him in a lying relationship forever? Will he get bored of you one day? You doubt it, Hanbee's not the type.

What had you gotten yourself into?

You felt a pain in your heart, one you mistook for guilt.

Hanbee leaned back after what seemed like thirty seconds of kissing, resting his forehead against yours. "You cannot fathom how happy I am." He breathed.

Oh, god...

"I'm not one to rush things, but please, let me show you how much you mean to me." He said in a whisper, affectionately kissing your cheek.

You unwillingly nodded your head at his request, regretting the movement as soon as Hanbee let go of you to grab your hand, leading you to where he (correctly) assumed was your bedroom.

Something was horribly wrong with him.

••••

Hanbee awoke with a start at the sound of a phone apparently ringing. He squinted his eyes as he sat up, headache soon tormenting him. Spotting the problem resting on a bedside table next to him, he put his finger on the 'stop' option before slowly easing himself back in a lying position, arm draping over his forehead in an attempt to calm his raging migrane. What happened to him?

He dug in the back of his mind, searching for answers.

Right, he went and got himself drunk yesterday to attempt to stop his thoughts about you, then he- he... He couldn't have done that. No, he has to be imaging that, there's no way he took advantage of you like that, right?

The worried male glanced next to him, his worst fears confirmed at the sight of your slightly toned and bare back facing him. Why did he have to go drink for the first time and order so much alcohol?

Hanbee never felt so much self-hatred and regret in his life. He can't believe he marched up to your place unannounced, drunk, confessed to you, kissed you twice without permission and had sex with you. He was literally the worst person in the world.

What should he do? Should he stay and wait until you wake up and apologize? Should he act like if it were nothing? No, certainly not that. You may have given him your consent, but it was still an unacceptable act since he was so wasted. Besides, he could have simply imagined you had given your consent and proceeded with it anyways. There was no way you'd want to get this intimate with him.

Sitting up once more, Hanbee ignored his pounding headache and sudden queasiness to quickly and quietly get dressed. He was going to do what he did best. Run away like a coward, although the two of you had work tomorrow and would be forced to see each other sooner or later. He just had to think what he'd do when he saw you next...

••••

"Has anyone seen (L/N)?" Mizurou asked, worried. "They skipped work yesterday and no one saw them today either." He said, the whole Suzuya squad (minus Hanbee) frowning at his words.

It was worst than he thought, you were ashamed. It was probably horrible. You probably despised him. He scarred you. And what if he had taken your innocence? You could have been saving that for someone so much better, and he stole it from you.

"I was wondering that too, so I sent Kuramoto to check on them." Suzuya said, worry apparent in his voice. That meant only bad things. If they had learnt what Hanbee did to you... He could get fired over the matter, hell, he could get arrested!

But at this rate, he'd probably turn himself in just so he won't have to look at you again.

"I'm a bit worried." Nakarai said. "They're not the type to just ditch work. Something must have happened."

"A ghoul?" Mikage proposed. It also meant really bad news when Mikage wasn't making odd astronomical comments over the matter.

Hanbee was so screwed.

"(Y/N)'s strong enough to take on a ghoul, there's no way it could be that." Mizurou said, shaking his head. "I'll call Kuramoto up to see what's wrong."

"I'm so sorry..." Hanbee muttered, yet no one seemed to pay attention to his words.

••••

"It was a rare case of Coronary Artery Disease. From the looks of it, they had patches of RC cells blocking the artery, causing a heart failure. They died in their sleep, most likely, around twelve in the afternoon." The medic spoke. Hanbee could barely keep himself together. He let the tears fall from his eyes but refrained from making any sounds. He had lost you because of his cowardice. If only he had woken you up that morning to confront you, you'd still be breathing. If Hanbee hadn't let his fear get the better of him, you would still be walking and talking and alive.

He couldn't believe that because of him, your last moments were spent with someone as awful as him.

He would never forgive himself for that, he would never forgive himself for being the coward that he was.

A/N:URHG THE ENDING WAS SO BAD I APOLOGIZE! Well I mean this whole one shot was awful and I am an awful person for not giving Hanbee the fluff and happiness he deserves.

ANYWHO I don't have any requests anymore so HMU if you want to ! Wink wonk.