A/N: This is a sort of part 2 to Ashamed, so the reader's past/occupation is the same as before.

This was requested by @YanskieLuixx ! I hope this is what you wanted!

THIS CONTAINS SPOILERS.

"Are you okay?" You turned at the sound of Saiko's voice and attempted to hide the fact that you were crying. She had more than her fair share of negative feelings, and you didn't want to impose your own onto her.

"Yeah, don't worry." You gave her a shaky smile. "And you? How are you coping with everything?"

The small girl frowned and sat down beside you on the couch. "I know you miss him." She stated. "We do too, (Y/N)."

You chuckled and looked down. "I know. I just hope we'll be able to find Ginshi's body soon. He deserves to be put to rest."

Saiko's frown deepened. "We miss Shiragin too, but I'm talking about Maman right now."

For her to speak with that much seriousness in her tone of voice, it sent shivers through your spine. A subordinate shouldn't be talking to you in such a way, but you did deserve to be slapped back to reality.

"Haise's..." You sighed. "He's a whole different person now. It just feels like he's completely gone. But we have to expect that. The CCG's nothing but loss after all. I have to get used to the feeling."

"I'm sure somewhere deep down, Sasaki still cares about you. He's still somewhere in there." She spoke, placing a hesitant hand on your shoulder.

"Thanks for trying to cheer me up, Saiko." You smiled, hugging the girl. This was so unprofessional, but right now you needed this.

"Just promise us you won't leave too, even if Maman asks you to." She whispered. You nodded and rubbed her back soothingly.

"I'm not going anywhere. I love you guys way too much for that."

••••

You shattered that promise as easily as you would with fine china. Seeing your ex walking around like he didn't even recognize you hurt a lot more than what you anticipated. You had tried to deal with it, to just let him go, but you couldn't, because Saiko was right.

Your Haise was somewhere in there, and as long as he exists, you won't leave his side.

You knew the person now known as the Black Reaper didn't love you back, and you understood that, but you'd still stand by his side if needed help, because who doesn't want to be loved? If he were to find someone else, that would have been a different thing entirely, though.

For now, you'd just secretly support him and try to stick with the remaining QS. They had lost so much in so little time, and if you were to depart, it wouldn't help.

Your act didn't last long though. Arima had approached you at some point and asked if you would be able to 'betray' the CCG for Sasaki, and you being, well, you, you decided to jump into the plan to create a better place for apparently, both ghouls and humans.

It really hurt to leave your friends with no answers to their questions, to betray their trust, to leave them in the dust, and you really wanted to keep your promise, but Arima had asked you to help Haise, and you weren't going to let them down.

••••

Saying switching from the CCG to GOAT was hard was such an understatement.

First, you had a hard time catching up to all the new faces and the truth about ghouls. Then came the fact that Haise just looked like himself even less and now went by the name of Kaneki Ken, and then he fell in love with an old friend of his.

Luckily, by the time the two got married, you were able to cope with the feeling, but it was still uncomfortable. You had often wondered if he would have still chosen her over you if it were your Haise in control.

Most likely.

Touka was a wonderful person after all, and even if she was aware of your past relationship with her husband, she seemed completely fine with it all and treated you as a very close friend, which you deeply appreciated.

And after all the loss and hurt you felt, you managed to come out of the mess alive and somewhat happy. Tokyo became quite peaceful after the whole Dragon ordeal, and ghouls and humans worked together instead of against each other, thanks to all the sacrifices you and your friends made.

Maybe things were the way they were now because you were able to somehow let Haise go.

••••

"Hey!" You greeted once you walked in the cute house with your friends. "Long time no see, Touka. Sorry about not warning you in advance. Saiko and I sorta bumped into them and we decided to swing by for a visit."

"It's alright!" The woman said, smiling. "Ichika missed you, actually." She added, watching her daughter jump into Tsukiyama's arms, giggling.

"Ah yes, so excited to see (Y/N)." Nishiki sarcastically said as Shuu lifted the six year old child up.

You and Saiko laughed at his comment before continuing to watch how the child interacted with Tsukiyama.

That is, until she spotted you.

"(Y/N)!" She exclaimed, making wild hand motions, desperately trying to tell Shuu to put her down so she can see you instead.

The male complied and set her on the ground while you crouched, awaiting the child with a smile and open arms. "Hey Ichika!" You sweetly greeted as she jumped into your arms and hugged you as tightly as her small arms could. "How are you doing, pudding?"

"Aw, did you miss her?" Saiko cooed, laughing when Ichika nodded her head. "She hasn't been around for a while, I admit."

"Yeah, sorry about that." You said. "I'm really busy at work."

"With uncle Shuu?" She asked. She couldn't grasp the concept of the TSC yet, so you all just called it 'work with uncle Shuu'. It was cute.

"Exactly, princess." The man said, nodding. "You're getting smarter by the minute!"

"But I'll be here for a little while, so we can catch up! I heard you met Shiroi... You can tell me all about that little event!" You said, before setting her down and letting her run towards Nishiki next.

You and Saiko watched as she interacted with just about everyone, until Touka walked up to the two of you.

"It's nice to see you two." She started, a soft smile on her face. "How are the Quinx?"

"They're good!" Saiko answered. "Mucchan's supposed to swing by soon, so we'll drag him here while we're at it, right (Y/N)?"

"Heck yeah." You nodded. "I can't wait to see him. I wonder if Ichika'll remember him, since it's been a while."

"I'm sure she will!" Your blue haired friend answered. "She's pretty smart."

"Yeah, she is. I heard she started reading already?" You asked, turning towards Touka, who simply nodded with a smile on her face. "Just like her father. I'm sure she'll love reading." You sighed, looking back towards the small pudding haired child.

She looked back at you for a second, and gave you a closed eyed smile before turning back to Shuu who was playing with her. The familiarity of the look on her face made your heart clench a little, and both females seemed to notice.

"She looks like him, doesn't she?" Touka asked.

"She acts like him, too." Saiko added. "And Ichika likes you a lot. It's as if she's Maman's reincarnation."

Your melancholic smile worsened as you felt guilt flowing through your veins. You knew it was horrible of you to be in love with a part of your friend's husband, but you just loved Haise so much.

"I accidentally called her Haise the last time I saw her." You admitted. "It would be an understatement for me to say she was confused."

Touka gave you a look of pity and you shook your head. "Don't say anything, Touka. It's fine, I'm not hurting as bad as before. Besides, it just makes me want to protect her even more than before, if it's even possible."

The purple haired girl sighed and turned back to watch her child.

"Thank you. Thank you all for loving her like you do." The woman said. "I'm really happy she gets to have a big loving family. There aren't a lot of us who have that, and I'm glad Ichika gets to be one of the lucky few."

"I guess her and (Y/N) are pretty similar then!" Saiko added, smiling.

"Heh, talking about that, I'm sure my family would want to meet her at some point. Would that be okay?" You asked, and smiled when Touka nodded.

Before you could say anything else, Tsukiyama called out your name, beckoning for you and Saiko to join the others who were all sitting around Ichika.

"What's going on?" You asked, settling down beside Shuu.

"I'm gonna tell you all how I met Shiroi!" She cheered.

"I always love a good story time." Your blue friend commented before sitting next to you.

You smiled when the small girl started speaking and couldn't help but look around at the others who were seated too. Touka was absolutely right. This child was so lucky to have so many people there for her, and you were glad.

You were glad things turned out this way, even if it hurt at some point, you were happy like this.

Your friends were okay, ghouls now get to live peaceful lives, people were mending things...

You looked back at the child in front of you and couldn't stop your mind from seeing Haise there instead. The Haise you thought you had lost. Maybe things would be a bit different between the two of you, but at least a part of him lives on.

Yeah, you were happy...

Things couldn't have ended on a better note...

Right?